60 pages • 2 hours read
Deb CalettiA Heart in a Body in the World
Fiction | Novel | YA | Published in 2018A modern alternative to SparkNotes and CliffsNotes, SuperSummary offers high-quality Study Guides with detailed chapter summaries and analysis of major themes, characters, and more.
Themes
Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder: Coping and Healing
Annabelle suffers from post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and anxiety after witnessing the shooting of her best friend and boyfriend almost a year earlier. The novel depicts Annabelle’s struggle to cope with and heal from this trauma, with the cross-country run signifying that healing can be much like a marathon—long and arduous, with setbacks as well as triumphs. Annabelle’s journey is both a test of personal strength and endurance as well as a testament to community and personal healing.
Even before beginning her run, Annabelle sees a therapist named Dr. Mann, who helps her cope with her PTSD. Gina is aware of Annabelle’s PTSD, and when Annabelle first describes her plan to run across the country, Gina states, “This is PTSD, Annabelle […] Don’t you remember what Dr. Mann said? This is hyperarousal, recklessness” (11), describing the traits of this condition. Dr. Mann offers many strategies to help Annabelle cope. One symptom Annabelle experiences is intrusive thoughts; memories of The Taker pop into her head unexpectedly, no matter how hard she tries to push them away. Annabelle describes this experience, thinking, “You wish you could annihilate some memories, too, but you can’t do that, either. You try. But they pop in” (14). As a strategy, Dr. Mann instructs Annabelle to say “Stop!” out loud, interrupting the intrusive memories. Annabelle utilizes this strategy throughout the novel.
During her cross-country journey, Annabelle’s PTSD is triggered when she sees the deer get hit by the truck driver. The deer flies into the air and dies from the impact, its body bloody and mangled. The sight reminds Annabelle of the death of Kat and Will. After the accident with the deer, Annabelle struggles to get out of bed for several days. This triggering incident is another example of PTSD, but the aftermath also demonstrates how individuals must acknowledge and confront their emotions and trauma to achieve peace and healing. Just as Annabelle’s run is complicated by injuries, bad weather, and other setbacks, her journey toward healing is marked by flashbacks, anxiety, guilt, and grief, but dealing with each of these challenges is part of the healing process.
Regarding hard feelings and emotions, Dr. Mann encourages Annabelle to set aside the guilt she feels surrounding Kat and Will’s deaths. Annabelle remembers Dr. Mann asking her, “What would happen if she set it all down, not just the little guilts and responsibilities, but the biggest one?” (189). When Annabelle tries to set aside her guilt, she realizes she feels sadness and anger toward The Taker. These feelings, as well as the continued support of her friends and family, motivate Annabelle to finish her run and eventually face The Taker in court. Annabelle may never completely overcome the traumatic tragedy she witnessed, but Dr. Mann’s strategies, the support of her community, and Annabelle’s own hard work all help her make progress.
Relearning to Trust After Trauma
After The Taker took out his anger toward Annabelle in a violent and horrific way, Annabelle struggles to trust others. Reflecting on how difficult it is to trust others, Annabelle “understands that when push comes to shove, literally or otherwise, that she must rely on other people being good and doing the right thing. And this, as she knows—as she knows very, very well—is a terrifying thing to rely on” (10). However, as people begin to support Annabelle along her run, she slowly learns to accept the kindness and generosity of others. Annabelle is surprised and grateful when a local high school reporter writes a positive article about her. The article inspires locals in that small town to gift Annabelle sparkling cider, dinner at a restaurant, and hotel rooms. Annabelle initially feels uncomfortable accepting the gifts, but as more and more people offer encouragement and gifts along her journey, she realizes these people want to support her because she inspires them or because they share her anger and grief. After two women step up to express their rage at The Taker, Annabelle realizes, “What are the people saying? They care about her” (252). This motivates Annabelle to keep running.
One moment when Annabelle especially must learn to trust others is when Grandpa blows a tire and Luke Messenger and Dawn Celeste, Grandpa’s new friends, rescue Annabelle in their camper. Annabelle is nervous to be around strangers and feels guilty for inconveniencing them, but Dawn Celeste and Luke insist that they are happy to help. Eventually, Annabelle relaxes and even has fun with Dawn Celeste and Luke, who become important parts of Annabelle’s journey.
By the end of the novel, Annabelle learns that there are more kind, trustworthy people in the world than evil ones. She realizes,
There are all kinds of hands—careful ones, cruel ones, ones you can trust and ones you can’t. You don’t always know until too late, but it’s true, too, that ones as disturbed as The Taker’s are rare. They are rare, she reminds herself (281).
Annabelle learns to trust and accept the kindness of others, which helps her complete her journey, speak up about the tragedy she experienced, stand up to The Taker, and begin the process of healing.
Challenging Social Expectations for Women
Annabelle questions the double standard imposed upon women, who are expected to be friendly and polite while assuming the responsibility of warding off unwanted attention. As a girl, Annabelle “was told that she needed to be on guard against 50 percent of the human race, and she carried that awareness everywhere” (92). However, Annabelle wonders, “But what are you supposed to do when you’re also required to be kind and helpful as well as vigilant?” (93). It can be difficult for women to know when to be polite to avoid hurt feelings and when to protect themselves against possible predators. With The Taker, Annabelle was often friendly and polite even when she wanted The Taker to leave her alone; she was worried about hurting his feelings and felt guilty for suddenly altering her behavior after being friendly toward him in the past. When The Taker won’t stop calling Annabelle, she feels it is her responsibility to comfort him, believing herself “responsible. She caused these feelings. She encouraged him, she was unclear, and now she’s finally being clear. She hurt him, and dealing with that hurt is her job now” (316). Even though Annabelle no longer wants anything to do with The Taker after his behavior becomes disturbing and uncomfortable, she feels it is her responsibility to be nice to him. Annabelle struggles with this double standard—she knows she needs to be firm about her boundaries and say no, but she also feels guilty about rejecting her former friend.
Through her memories, Annabelle recalls when she was friendly and even flirted with The Taker. There were times when Annabelle knew The Taker was flirting with her and enjoyed the attention, even though she wasn’t interested in dating him, which makes Annabelle feel guilty for giving him the wrong impression, which in turn makes her wonder if she is somehow responsible for the violence he inflicted. When Annabelle was younger, Gina even advised, “You can smile at a boy, and he’ll think you’re in love with him […] It’s your job to keep guys in check” (69). However, Dr. Mann reminds Annabelle, “It’s okay to flirt […] And to feel pretty. And to be nice. None of those things mean you’re inviting someone to harm you” (151). Ultimately, Annabelle is not responsible for coddling or protecting The Taker’s emotions and mental state, nor is she responsible for his decision to carry out a shooting. Part of Annabelle’s journey toward healing is understanding that women are not responsible for men’s emotions or behaviors and learning to let go of her guilt.
Books, Music, and Human Emotions
Before the shooting at Geoff’s party, Annabelle loved books and music. After the tragedy, Annabelle avoids them. The text explains, “Annabelle has been afraid of music, and books, too. Music and books stir up emotions. They make feelings rise and clatter and wreck, and sometimes that’s dangerous” (157). As Annabelle copes with her trauma, she avoids anything that could stir up deep emotions.
This theme is especially relevant when Annabelle remembers attending a concert with The Taker. At the concert, “The music and the atmosphere make her feel a freedom she doesn’t normally feel” (258). Music, books, and art often illicit a feeling of catharsis and freedom in people. At the concert, Annabelle dances with The Taker and allows him to kiss her in the car on the way home. Annabelle enjoys the kiss, thinking, “who doesn’t want to kiss after a concert? After the loud music and the heat and the surge of being alive?” (259). The music at the concert evoked heightened emotions in Annabelle, which led her to do something she may not have done otherwise. Even though Annabelle enjoyed the kiss in the moment, she feels guilt and trauma when she remembers this event, and she wants to avoid music and anything else that could inspire deep feeling or emotion.
Annabelle eventually learns to enjoy music and books again when Luke gifts her a cassette player and Endurance, the book about a group of explorers in Antarctica. The music motivates Annabelle to run and keeps her energy up, and the book’s story of survival despite impossible conditions resonates with her. Eventually, Annabelle “reads Endurance the way a person might read the Bible—in small passages, repeated again and again, to help her stay grounded” (205). Although books and music can stir up difficult emotions, they can also help a person feel inspired, motivated, and grounded. Thanks to Luke’s gifts, Annabelle rediscovers her love of music and books, another key piece in her broader journey toward healing.
