A Swim in a Pond in the Rain: In Which Four Russians Give a Master Class on Writing, Reading, and Life

“The Nose” is a story by Nikolai Gogol, written in 1836. It opens with a Petersburg barber named Ivan Yakovlevich, discovering a nose in his breakfast bread one morning. He “recognizes” the nose as belonging to one of his clients, a petty official named Kovalyov” (314). He gets into an argument of his wife, who accuses him of being careless with his barbering and demands that he dispose of the nose immediately. Ivan Yakovlevich attempts this several times, but always runs into acquaintances or suspicious officials. He finally drops the nose into the Neva river, and is apprehended by a policeman: “But here the whole episode becomes shrouded in mist, and of what happened subsequently nothing is known” (317).

The story then shifts to Kovalyov’s point of view. He awakens one morning to discover that his nose is missing. He confirms this in the mirror of a coffeehouse, and then goes into a church where he discovers his nose disguised as a high-ranking official: “He was wearing a gold-embroidered uniform with a big stand-up collar and doeskin breeches [...] From his plumed hat one could infer that he held the rank of a state councilor” (320). Kovalyov attempts to confront the nose, but the nose stonewalls him: “You are mistaken, my dear sir, I exist in my own right” (320).

Kovalyov goes to the house of the chief of police, but is told the chief is not at home—a polite 19th century way for the chief to decline to see the low-ranking and unimportant Kovalyov. Kovalyov next decides to put an advertisement in the classifieds section of the newspaper, but is politely refused by the official there, who tells him that such an advertisement would lower the standards of the paper. Kovalyov then visits the home of the district police inspector, who—annoyed that Kovalyov has called on him after dinner—dismisses both Kovalyov’s case and Kovalyov himself.

Kovalyov decides that his missing nose must be the fault of a woman named Mrs. Podtochina. He has declined to marry this woman’s daughter, and he believes that Mrs. Podtochina has put a curse on him as revenge. He writes her an angry letter, but when he receives a bewildered reply, he concludes that she is not responsible for his nose’s disappearance after all. An inspector then arrives at Kovalyov’s apartment, holding his missing nose, which was “intercepted” (335) while trying to leave town. Kovalyov is relieved and joyful, but soon discovers that he is unable to re-affix the nose to his face. He asks a doctor who lives in his building to help him, but the doctor concludes that the situation is hopeless.

The story about the missing nose has meanwhile spread all over the city of Petersburg. Many local charlatans take advantage of the rumor by claiming to offer unique vantages of the escaped nose; only a few citizens protest the story’s ridiculousness. One morning, Kovalyov awakens to discover that his nose is back on his face. He is restored to his happiness and sanity, and becomes like his old self, only more so: “And thereafter Major Kovalyov was always seen in good humor, smiling, running after absolutely all the pretty ladies” (347). The story ends on a note of bemusement, its omniscient narrator declaring that “this is something I can’t understand” (347).