All the Colors of the Dark

“Later that day the cops would crawl over the intricacies of his life and discover he was into pirates because he had been born with only one eye, and his mother peddled the romance of a cutlass and eye patch because often for kids like him the flair of fiction dulled a reality too severe.”

Ivy establishes the pirate myth to try to shield Patch from their poverty and the cruelty of other people. This quote highlights the contrast between the romantic world of Patch’s childhood—evidenced through his toys—and the harsh realities around them.

“None would yet know of the evolving tragedy that would be their lives.”

This sentence foreshadows the sprawling narrative of the rest of the book, which traces the repercussions of this violent day in the characters’ lives. None of them escape the tragedy without significant trauma, and Eli Aaron’s violence forever changes all their lives.

“Ivy Macauley wore a smart dress cut low on her chest like she wanted to show the world they were decent but did not own the right clothes for the occasion.”

Even as a child, Saint has a keen eye for observation and detail. She understands that Ivy is struggling in the face of a society that constantly judges her for her poverty. She wants to appear “decent” in the eyes of Monta Clare, but her nicest dress is revealing and people deem it inappropriate since it shows off her body.

“‘How come you can do so much?’ Saint said, as her grandmother fetched a block plane to smooth a wavelet. ‘You ever ask that question to your grandfather when he was alive?’ Saint shook her head. Norma went on.”

Saint is astonished that her grandmother can work, keep house, and do many repairs around the home. Norma’s question points out the double standard of gender—Saint is surprised that her grandmother knows how to woodwork but never questioned her grandfather’s abilities.

“Saint knew there was not always an exact moment when children turned to adults. For the lucky ones it was a long, hard-earned acceptance of responsibility and opportunity. But for her, and for Misty, the divide had been curt and fatal.”

Saint understands that she and Misty have experienced a serious trauma that has jolted them from their childhood. Unlike the ideal, gradual growth into adulthood, theirs is “curt and fatal.” The diction here implies that their childhood has been killed off and echoes the threat of violence from Aaron, which contributes to The Lasting Effects of Trauma.

“The North Carolina Coastal Plain. The sandhills. No one knows for sure why they do it. But it’s real purple. It glows. It’s like proof, Patch. There’s magical things out there just waiting on you.”

Purple honey is a symbol of childhood magic throughout the text. Saint tells Patch that its existence is “proof” that there is something good waiting for them beyond the Ozarks. She sees this unexplained scientific phenomenon as an example of the wonder still waiting in the world.

“‘Paint it for me,’ she said. ‘What?’ ‘Your life. Or a piece of it. Paint it with every color you know, so I can see it, so we can see it.’”

Though Grace and Patch interact in total darkness, she uses the term “paint” to refer to their vivid descriptions. In adulthood, Patch becomes an artist, painting with oils what Grace used words to depict. Ironically, it is his time in total darkness that unlocked his understanding of color and detail.

“He found a city he had never visited before. He saw ice and snow fall like ash from a white fire. Buildings so tall they leaned toward him. Refracted lights and glass and steel and steam rising from grates. She painted it all with her words, and he could feel the smoldering of that energy as it smoked from Wall Street and dazzled on Broadway. Voices and engines, the rustle of newspapers.”

When Grace describes New York City, Patch imagines it with an artist’s eye. Ice and snow become “ash from a white fire”—this vivid imagery evokes beauty and destruction at the same time. Underneath the lovely image lurks the reality of their dangerous current situation.

“‘It strengthens your faith, now that you have your friend back,’ Norma said. Saint looked up at her. ‘God started the fire. And now he wants the credit for putting it out.’”

Saint and Norma have different ways of looking at faith. Norma sees Patch’s return as an example of God’s provision, while Saint thinks that he “started the fire” Himself and could have stopped it as well. This conversation is an example of Saint grappling with the question of why evil exists and struggling to understand the role of faith in the world—one example of The Search for Identity she experiences throughout the novel.

“To love and be loved is more than can ever be expected, more than enough for a thousand ordinary lifetimes.”

Nix tells Saint that love is important, and she returns to this phrase throughout her life. Significantly, Nix is not just speaking of romantic love (which Saint admitted is absent from her marriage) but also familial love and friendship. Though Nix experiences romance with Tooms, for him the main source of love in his life is relationships in the community. Saint will also come to realize that romantic love is less important in her life than other relationships.

“Most nights he studied till late, surprised by his own limitations. He had made good grades at school. He had never questioned his own future, his abilities, his faith in himself and in the fact that everything would be just fine.”

This passage is an early glimpse at Jimmy’s flaws—a contrast to how others in the community view him. Jimmy is “surprised” that he is not perfect at school and frustrated by it. Later, he will take this frustration out on Saint and blame her for the failure of their marriage and his shortcomings.

“‘You know I can’t come see you, Saint.’ ‘And why’s that, kid?’ ‘They say I’m a pirate. And you’re a lawman.’”

Throughout Saint’s pursuit of Patch, the two exchange phone conversations that contain movie-like dialogue. Patch, perhaps envisioning himself the hero of an adventure, terms them “pirate” and “lawman.” Saint calls him “kid,” still picturing him as the child she saved rather than a man responsible for his own decisions.

“Through the starlight she saw the shape of the hive. She remembered that time like each moment was a pearl of summer, perfect and without blemish, light till so late, beginning so early, like there was scarcely room for the dark.”

The summer before Aaron kidnaps Patch lives Saint’s memory as a childhood utopia. The “pearl” here represents the time “without blemish” and no “room for the dark.” In her imagination, this imagery is Eden-like, safe from the trauma to come.

“‘I also know pirates wore eye patches to adjust to the light and dark above and below deck during raids.’ She rested her hand on his and gave it a gentle squeeze. ‘So you’re in the light now, but you’ve come from the dark.’”

The woman Patch meets interprets his pirate fact as a metaphor for his life. She says that he lives in the light but comes from the dark. Ultimately, Patch will also adopt this idea and see his past darkness as something that allows him to be a good man in the future, stepping into “the light.”

“He saw her in mixes: her skin titanium and singed umber and alizarin; her Prussian eyes; her hair would be lain darks softened with sienna before light layering. In all her blinding glory. She could not be sick. The world would not allow such a tragedy.”

When Patch discovers Misty is sick, he cannot imagine that it’s true. He thinks about her beauty in artistic terms and believes that losing her would be a “tragedy” that the world should not allow. He sees a contrast between her “blinding glory” and the illness from which she is suffering.

“There was no glamour to any of it. He had asked the lady why she wanted it. ‘Can’t you see how beautiful you make tragedy?’ ‘No,’ he said, and Sammy escorted him out, worried he might sully each sale.”

Many people buy Patch’s paintings because they see the tragedy as an attraction and something “beautiful.” Patch finds this disturbing because he sees “no glamour.” Rather, he sees the reality of the horrible things that have happened to these girls. Sammy wants him to leave because he understands that selling the paintings depends on portraying tragedy as glamour.

“‘Stabbed. Strangled. One time raped. Weapons. Hands,’ she spoke with dispassion. ‘I forget who I’m talking to.’ On her desk was a coffee cup and inside it warm milk. In her drawer was a romance novel.”

Saint’s job means that she deals with horrific violence every day. However, there is a contrast between her toughness at work and who she is, represented by the romance novel in her desk drawer. This highlights her softness and vulnerability.

“The street died around them. The town and the woodland and sky. And what had once seemed so beautiful and safe was lost.”

When Saint tells Charlotte about Jimmy’s abuse, their town suddenly feels unsafe. Saint feels bad because she wants Charlotte to think of Monta Clare as “beautiful and safe” and protect her childhood. She worries that telling her about Jimmy means that she’s exposing the town’s dark underbelly, evidenced by the abusive actions of her ex-husband.

“She would play that moment back and wonder at a universal network of fate, each decision rippling out from the wings of a butterfly, searching a grid of pattern that had been laid in another life. She would wonder if it would have made a difference to any of them. But as she turned and saw Sammy at the door, his cheeks ashen, she knew there was no one at all in control.”

Saint wonders at the tension between fate and divine intervention. Her grandmother believes in a God who controls the universe, but Saint sees Norma’s death as evidence that there is “no one at all in control.” She fears that the evil in the world is pointless and that the good will be lost.

“He talked like a kid, like he didn’t realize that everything would harden and die. Friends he once knew, stores and girls and places. Patch knew well that the replacement would be gradual and total, until he was born in the system, everything before the turned pages in a book no one would ever pick up again.”

Patch believes that in prison he will forget everything that came before. In his metaphor, it turns to “pages” in a forgotten book, relegating those memories to a place they will not be accessed. In prison, Patch believes everything “harden[s] and die[s],” including one’s soul.

“She thought of Nix and Tooms, and Patch and Misty, and the random convergence of innocence and guilt. She thought of two decades laid out like a twisting path. Her grandmother above them waiting to shepherd another into the lost kingdom. ‘Goddamn,’ she cried. ‘Where are you? Why is it all on us?’”

Again, Saint worries about fate and divine intervention, thinking back over her life as “two decades laid out like a twisting path.” In anguish, she asks God where He is and “Why is it all on us?” She worries that things are “random convergence” and that no one is controlling their lives.

“He took a breath and looked back toward the barn, where Grace stood like a ghost, like a vision he could finally let go.”

Patch has spent the whole book searching for Grace. When he finds her, ironically, she is “a ghost”—less real than when he searched. Now that he’s found her, she is “a vision he could finally let go,” and he can move on.

“She knew in her heart what was good and right. She no longer needed her badge for validation.”

Saint has struggled to understand what the right thing is to do, but now she knows “in her heart.” While she used her “badge for validation,” she can now rely on herself and her internal compass to guide herself, even when it means lying about Patch escaping. This quote marks a discernable shift in The Search for Identity.