American Like Me

“Are there different words for different kinds of Americans? Am I half American? Kind of American? Other American? I am nine years old, and suddenly I am wondering what do I call an American like me.” 

In grappling with what it means to be American, Ferrera underscores the trauma involved in identity politics and how devastating this can be for a child. She faced stigmatization as a child born of Honduran parents, and many other writers in this collection faced similar trauma. This essay collection affirms there are indeed various ways to identify what it means to be American.

“I believe that culture shapes identity and defines possibility; that it teaches us who we are, what to believe, and how to dream. We should all be able to look at the world around us and see a reflection of our true lived experiences.” 

Ferrera upholds the beauty in differences. What once seemed normal in movies and TV, like homogenized white culture, has made way for the inclusion of different cultures and identities. This inclusion helps people see themselves in media and recognize their stories deserve a voice.

“It’s a white lie, as innocent and airy as the foam on top of the [Starbucks] drink, and it’s been carefully constructed to make all our lives easier.” 

Saujani uses a comical, everyday experience like ordering coffee to explore the difficult constructed space of the immigrant experience. Lies can seem dishonest and reflect character, but Saujani affirms here that, at times, immigrants must use white lies and constructed scenarios just to make life easier for themselves and others because ignorance often trumps understanding.

“Ironically, when you are the only one of your kind, it is difficult to be authentic. You are unique. You don’t blend in.” 

Though humankind often strives to be unique and individualistic, especially as kids, individualism and being unique don’t often well serve the immigrant population. Children, especially, just want to fit in, so the things that make them unique—like their ethnicity or name—can feel like a burden more than a blessing.

“Sizzler embodied the very essence of America—that even the poor could be greedy, overstuffed even, as they filled themselves on endless plates of food.”

Zhang pokes fun at the American dream and the American insistence on capitalism. Sizzler is symbolic of consumerism and corporate greed, which imbues the American dream in the guise of choice and greed; America is the land of plenty, where even the poor can take part in an American pastime of waste and excess.

“Those ridiculous stereotypes about Africa were perpetuated everywhere you turned on television and in the movies. The way that dehumanization manifested in the minds of kids was that since Africa equals war, disease and poverty, then being African made you an easy target for bullying.” 

Bamba holds the media accountable for the stigmatization and stereotypical tropes people hold about Africa. This quotation shows people rarely think for themselves and that entertainment media often influences people’s ideologies and social/political views.

“They are people who have spent the whole of their lives crossing borders that were, often, unfriendly and unwilling to welcome then. They could not, I imagine, tolerate inhospitable borders within their own family, so they loved us in a wild, irrepressible, boundless way.”

Roxane Gay pens a poignant essay about borders and close-knit families. Despite her Haitian family’s refusal to recognize personal boundaries/borders, Gay affirms this closeness and camaraderie stems from a history of people and countries attempting to use distance and borders as a means of othering immigrants. The immigrant response is often to close ranks and/or draw closer to family.

“There was also a word to describe me and my girls back home. Apparently, our overlap of cultures, races, and ‘social disadvantages’ had an academic title: intersectionality.”

Carmen Perez pokes fun of academic jargon here, but also sheds light on something many immigrant communities were living (and are living) on a daily basis: intersectionality. The “overlap of cultures” Perez speaks of lends itself to better understanding others and amplifying all voices by encouraging love and togetherness.

“I am still close with most of those girls. […] They remind me of our shared humanity, no matter our backgrounds or differences. They help me understand that our liberation is bound together.”

Perez notes liberation is not only a possibility; it is a goal made possible by working together for the good of all humankind. Racist and xenophobic attitudes breed a nationalistic, individualistic dogma undermining freedom and safety for all at the expense of a chosen group; embracing a shared humanity welcomes a true American dream where the government works for people from all walks of life.

“I loved Norma Jean. She represented the American dream to me—a kid living the childhood idealized on TV.”

Diane Guerrero shares a similar experience to Bamba’s: She admits that much of her early view of what it meant to be American came from entertainment media. Because of this, she longed to be like the Cabbage Patch dolls and Disney princesses she saw on TV. It wasn’t until much later when she saw Real Women Have Curves that she realized people like her could tell diverse stories on TV and deserved this chance to express themselves.

“It was a place where people like my parents could thrive. Their love wasn’t forbidden or difficult. No Romeo or Juliet drama for them.” 

Liza Koshy emphasizes that the immigrant experience can often be fraught with drama and tragedy—from prejudice to forbidden love. Koshy pushes against this stereotype through example of an immigrant experience where her neighborhood supported its multiculturalism and the only racism that took place happened out on the road outside of town. This quotation highlights how the immigrant experience is different for everyone.

“As the years have passed, I have become more acquainted with American choices, and all the paradoxes that follow.”

Kumail Nanjiani admits he doesn’t want to live anywhere other than America. For him, America symbolizes freedom of choice. Despite this, he also admits that America’s dream of freedom, choice, and safety doesn’t lend itself to everyone; classism, racism, and political legislation all have a hand in denying choice to some while rendering it an everyday experience for others.

“For my family, the American dream wasn’t just a fairy-tale notion or a meaningless phrase. It has always been real and extremely motivating.”

Though the American dream looks differently depending on who’s viewing it, Michelle Kwan maintains that her family thrived by focusing on obtaining what they perceived as the American dream. Her family worked hard and sacrificed to get Kwan to the point where she became the most decorated ice skater. Kwan credits determination and hard work for her success in America, as well as the sacrifices her parents made.

“Foreign invaders took everything she would have used through countless acts of physical, spiritual, and emotional violence. She still found a way to turn everything she made to into gold, including me.” 

As an Indigenous American, Frank Waln sees the US as an occupied land of foreigners. The US systematically stole from Indigenous people. Because of the duplicity and destruction toward and of Indigenous populations, Indigenous people like Waln and his grandmother had to become alchemists who made something from nothing just to survive.

“Something amazing happened when I played for both of these teams at the same time. I saw how expectations influence my success.” 

From an early age, Jeremy Lin loved playing basketball but he also realized other people’s expectations and perceptions influenced how he played basketball. When he internalized xenophobia and racism, he played horribly and doubted his skills. Once he learned how to block out the hate, his game improved. This quotation ultimately shows the power of words in a person’s life.

“This country is where I am from, and also where I have never been, until now.”

Ferrera addresses a facet of the immigrant experience: the connection, or lack thereof, to a home country. Ferrera’s parents are from Honduras, but America was born and raised in the US. The ties to a home country are nonexistent for some, while for others, reconnecting with a home country helps strengthen and/or define ethnicity and heritage. Ferrera draws strength from learning about a homeland connecting her to the strength of her ancestors.

“The Stone Mother gives us the greatest gift a mother could give. She gives us a way to heal.”

Tanaya Winder tells a story of a mother who cries so much over her children that she forms a lake and turns to stone. There are variations of the story, but Winder finds the variation in which the mother instructs her kids to light a fire so that she knows they’re safe is a lesson in hope and healing. Winder posits that humankind has the tools to heal and navigate tenuous spaces; humankind just has to make sure it uses these tools when necessary.

“With all his hard work and bravery, my dad showed me what fearlessness really looked like.” 

Wilmer Valderrama credits his parents with making him the man he is today. His immigrant parents dealt with a lot, both in their home country and in the US, but they did it all so that Valderrama might have a better, safer life. The story of immigrants is largely a story of ensuring the safety and overall wellbeing of family.

“They didn’t wish to be more Latino than they felt they actually were—the way I did.” 

Anjelah Johnson-Reyes idolized cholas while growing up in San Jose, California. She says her main reason for wanting to be like them is because they not only didn’t care what others thought, they felt so comfortable being Latino they never had to question their identity—something Johnson-Reyes often did. The quotation emphasizes how some first- and second-generation American-born kids deal with issues of identity and navigating what it means to be American.

“If they can learn to say Tchaikovsky and Michelangelo and Dostoevsky, then they can learn to say Uzoamaka.” 

Uzo Aduba tried getting her mother to change her name to Zoe because she was tired of others mispronouncing it. Her mother, however, managed to instill pride in Uzo (though this didn’t come until later) by explaining the fault was not Uzo’s but others’ and their refusal to learn something different than their own norms.

“Hope can feel empty because you can’t move toward something that is imagined. You can’t work for something you are dreaming of and waiting for.” 

Activist Linda Sarsour makes a fundamental distinction between hope and love. Hope is something imaginary and ethereal—one waits for it to happen or exists with it like a dream. The problem with hope is people lose their hope while they’re waiting for change, while waiting for something about which they can do nothing. For Sarsour, hope is dangerous to the disenfranchised.

“Love is something you can see and feel every day.”

This quotation ties in with the previous quotation about hope. Hope is imaginary and useless for the disenfranchised. Love, on the other hand, is something one can engage on a daily basis. Love, and the type of radical love for which Sarsour advocates, is an everyday act of will bringing people and communities together.

“Today, many are afraid of immigrants, of providing them access. But do they realize there is something far scarier than being the country everyone wants to come to?”

Castro views the American dream from the point of view of a congressman and a descendent of an immigrant. He believes the US was once a land of plenty where people could come to find out what they might be capable of and, in doing so, contribute to society and the American dream. With the way immigration legislation is going, however, America might only source people who can bring something like a computer science skillset to America, leaving many without a valued skill to enter. With this focus on immigration, the US will become a pariah nation.