50 pages • 1 hour read
Amir Levine, Rachel S.F. HellerAttached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find—and Keep—Love
Nonfiction | Book | Adult | Published in 2010A modern alternative to SparkNotes and CliffsNotes, SuperSummary offers high-quality Study Guides with detailed chapter summaries and analysis of major themes, characters, and more.
Introduction, Chapters 1-2Chapter Summaries & Analyses
Introduction: “The New Science of Adult Attachment”
Introduction, Chapter 1 Summary: “Decoding Relationship Behavior”
Section 1 begins with quotes that showcase three different situations centered around conflict in relationships. Levine and Heller discuss how therapists previously relied on gathering detailed information about clients’ “past history, previous relationships, and personality type” to treat issues with intimate relationships (4). However, Levine and Heller propose that attachment theory, the main topic of their book, offers therapists “a straightforward explanation” that applies to every situation involving romantic partnerships (4). They transition into an anecdote about their friend Tamara and her tumultuous relationship with her boyfriend Greg. Levine and Heller reflect on how they found it difficult to understand Tamara’s inability to leave Greg despite his unwillingness to commit and the toll her relationship anxiety was having on her life.
While working in the Therapeutic Nursery at Columbia University, Levine applied attachment therapy to reinforce the bonds between mothers and their children. Through his work and research, Levine learned more about how “adults show patterns of attachment to their romantic partners similar to the patterns of attachment of children with their parents” (7). Inspired by his research, Levine asked Heller to collaborate with him on creating Attached.
Levine and Heller detail the three types of attachment styles: secure, anxious, and avoidant. While people with secure attachment styles “feel comfortable with intimacy,” people with anxious attachment styles may long for intimacy but struggle with anxiety over “their partner’s ability to love them back” (8). Those with avoidant attachment styles may view intimacy as an obstacle to their independence. Levine and Heller provide statistics demonstrating over 50% of people display secure attachment styles, 20% display anxious, 25% display avoidant, and 3-5% have a combination of anxious and avoidant attachment styles.
Levine and Heller posit that attachment styles are evident in various cultures and that an understanding of attachment styles provides a method of understanding behaviors in romantic relationships. As a preview to later chapters, Levine and Heller briefly explain the origin of attachment styles. While Levine and Heller agree that an individual’s upbringing can influence attachment style, they argue that various outside factors can also determine an individual’s attachment style.
Returning to the story of Tamara and Greg, Levine and Heller analyze the relationship through the lens of attachment theory. Levine and Heller assign Greg the avoidant attachment style and Tamara the anxious attachment style. Through attachment theory, Levine and Heller understand each of Greg and Tamara’s turbulent interactions and marvel at the accuracy of attachment theory to predict behaviors.
Levine and Heller transition into an explanation of the evolutionary connections to attachment theory. They cite psychologist John Bowlby, who argued that throughout evolution people who developed attachments were more likely to survive and pass along the desire to attach. To offer a biological explanation, Levine and Heller detail the attachment system, a mechanism that creates and regulates connections between parents, children, and intimate partners. When separated from their parents, children become agitated and exhibit protest behavior. Levine and Heller argue that adults also engage in protest behavior due to the evolutionary emphasis on attachment.
Levine and Heller detail the importance of heterogeneity or diversity in evolution. To survive, humans relied on the varied attachment styles to navigate the dangerous worlds they lived in and build attachments with various figures. Each attachment style offered benefits that increased the chances of survival. Levine and Heller question whether the anxious and avoidant attachment styles are beneficial in the modern world.
Driven by a desire to create a realistic guide to improving relationships, Levine and Heller outline their process. They began by interviewing people from various backgrounds about their romantic relationships and created a technique that helped people determine their partner’s attachment style. Levine and Heller clarify that, unlike other relationship theories, their focus on adult attachment theory applies to a wide range of romantic relationships. They return to the story of their friend Tamara and describe how she applied their attachment theory to find success with her new boyfriend Greg. Levine and Heller conclude the chapter with a declaration that their book will help the reader understand themselves and their partners better and implement change in their relationships.
Introduction, Chapter 2 Summary: “Dependency Is Not a Bad Word”
This section begins by describing Karen and Tim, a couple who competed on a reality competition show and lost. Levine and Heller analyze Karen and Tim’s relationship through the lens of adult attachment theory. While Karen attempted to maintain an intimate connection throughout the show by holding Tim’s hand, Tim displayed an avoidant attachment style. Karen blamed her need for connection as the reason for why they lost the race. However, Levine and Heller argue that Tim’s inability to accept Karen’s need for dependence was the greatest contributor to their loss. The authors define the dependency paradox, which states that effective dependency between partners allows for emotional needs to be met and for partners to find more independence. They argue that, if Tim had taken the time to build dependency with Karen throughout the competition, then they would have been able to win.
Levine and Heller state that modern culture disapproves of dependency and trace the origins of this disapproval to the early 20th century. Parenting books from the early 20th century emphasized independence and dissuaded mothers from coddling their children. Levine and Heller discuss Mary Ainsworth and John Bowlby, who discovered that food and nourishment were not enough to establish a connection between children and caretakers, and that children demonstrated delays in development without emotional attachments to their caretakers. The authors cite Ainsworth and Bowlby as the founders of attachment theory.
Levine and Heller discuss the work of Bowlby and his contemporaries, who began research about attachment theory in the 1950s and 1960s. Bowlby and other attachment theory researchers solidified the understanding of attachment impacting humans throughout their lifespan. Levine and Heller argue that codependency in adults faces criticism in today’s world. Originally intended to aid family members of those with substance abuse issues, the movement against codependency is now applied broadly to romantic relationships. Levine and Heller contend that this indiscriminate application of codependency “can be misleading and even damaging” (26).
Levine and Heller discuss research conducted by James Coan, an affective neuroscientist and clinical psychologist, and highlight the biological impact of dependency. Coan’s study found that physical contact with a partner during a stressful event reduced stress significantly; Levine and Heller discuss the implications of this research regarding the benefits of codependency and expand on their explanation of the dependency paradox. To further elaborate on the benefits of codependency, Levine and Heller explain the strange situation test, which evaluated the impact of a mother’s presence on a child’s ability to explore. Ainsworth discovered the importance of children having a secure base in the form of their parents to foster their independence. Levine and Heller extend the findings of the strange situation test to adults and argue that romantic partners need a secure base in each other to build independence. They return to the example of Karen and Tim and analyze Karen’s desire for intimate touch as representative of her need for a secure base in Tim.
Levine and Heller argue that an unsupportive partner can contribute to not only emotional but also physical distress. They cite a study by psychiatrist Brian Baker that found a correlation between lowered blood pressure and marriage satisfaction. Emphasizing the impact of choosing the right partner, Levine and Heller state that the rest of the book will offer readers a guide to choosing a partner, becoming a partner, or helping an existing partner serve as a secure base. They end the chapter by outlining the topics of subsequent chapters.
Introduction, Chapters 1-2 Analysis
Attached begins with monologues from three imagined individuals who struggle to find satisfaction and happiness in their pursuit or maintenance of relationships. Levine and Heller insert these accounts without any introduction. They may be aiming to draw readers into harrowing emotions immediately, and to evoke identification. Throughout the book, Levine and Heller use real-life accounts and anecdotes to personalize the messages of the text.
Their primary anecdote focuses on Tamara, a mutual friend of Levine and Heller who uncharacteristically exhibits insecurity in her relationship with the avoidant Greg. Through Tamara’s story, Levine and Heller supply readers with a real-life example of their theories and research and the greater premise of Attached. By presenting a couple with different attachment styles, the authors show The Importance of Understanding Attachment Styles in relationships.
From the beginning of their guide, Levine and Heller state the purpose of their book: to educate about attachment styles and provide practical application to guide readers through the process of change from insecure to secure attachment. Inspired by his research at Columbia University on attachment-guided therapy for mothers and children, Levine realized how attachment therapy could apply to adult relationships, and how understanding attachment styles leads to The Possibility of Change. Levine shares how he reaches out to Heller specifically “to help him transform the academic studies and scientific data he’d been reading into practical guidelines and advice that people could use” (7-8). As collaborators, Levine and Heller have a dual purpose; while Levine provides scientific evidence to support their theory, Heller transforms this evidence into interactive charts, visuals, and worksheets. Together, they make Attached a self-help book and not just a scientific text.
Rooted in real-life application, self-help books typically offer readers the promise of improvement to the issues that plague human life. Attached promises readers that attachment theory is relevant to their daily lives and that there is hope for transformation in their romantic relationships. To widen their reach and solidify their relevance, Levine and Heller specify that the ideas presented in Attached apply not only to those still in search of secure partnerships but also those currently engaged in insecure partnerships. In a direct address to their readers, the authors repeatedly use the second-person point of view. They explain that, no matter your present relationship status, “you’ll start to experience change—change for the better” (18). The second-person direct address aims to evoke a sense of conversational intimacy and draw readers in, and centers readers as the subjects of the text. As Levine and Heller educate on the science and application of attachment styles, they continue to remind readers of their active participation in the text.
To begin their instruction, Levine and Heller provide an overview of all three attachment styles, including the origins of attachment styles within humans and an analysis of their application to modern relationships. By explaining the evolutionary origins of attachment theory, the authors educate readers on the long history and function of attachment styles while aiming to foster an empathetic tone. They also aim to reduce feelings of shame and self-blame by explaining that attachment styles originate from evolutionary sources and that there is a universal, shared experience for those with insecure attachment styles. Additionally, Levine and Heller highlight the essential functions of avoidant and anxious attachment styles throughout history. While educating readers on the positive impact of a secure attachment style, they also aim to comfort the reader by showing that “romantic behaviors that had previously been seen as odd or misguided” are in fact “understandable, predictable, even expected” (15).
Levine and Heller return to the story of their friend Tamara and reintroduce her troubled relationship with Greg through the lens of attachment theory. This may be so that readers do not have to memorize the characteristics of each attachment style, and can instead apply new information to Tamara’s personalized story. Throughout their guide, the authors follow this pattern of instruction. First, Levine and Heller introduce personal accounts of love and dating to evoke an emotional response; then, they outline the scientific research of the attachment style related to each story. By introducing the emotional element first, they aim to draw the reader in.
Lastly, the authors ask readers to apply their knowledge to introspective and interactive guides featured throughout the novel. They use personal stories like Tamara’s to build tension and evoke identification, and statistics and research to substantiate their claims.
