.webp&w=1080&q=50)
18 pages • 36 minutes read
Sarah Kay"B" (If I Should Have a Daughter)
Fiction | Poem | Adult | Published in 2011A modern alternative to SparkNotes and CliffsNotes, SuperSummary offers high-quality Study Guides with detailed chapter summaries and analysis of major themes, characters, and more.
Themes
Overcoming Adversity in the Face of Life’s Cruelty
The theme of overcoming adversity is present in several parts of the poem and serves as a warning for the daughter about what she will have to endure in life. For instance, the speaker states that “life will hit you / hard, / in the face” (Lines 6-8), and it will wait for her to stand again “just so it can kick you in the stomach” (Line 9). The comparison of life’s struggles to physical blows demonstrates the power of adversity, as well as its ability to deeply affect a person. However, the poem reminds the girl that having the wind knocked out of her is the only way to remember how much her lungs “like the taste of air” (Line 10), illustrating a framing of the world that characterizes adversity as something that can be overcome, and something that adds value to life. The poem goes on to state that there is hurt that cannot be fixed with Band-Aids or poetry, and that the girl’s hands will be “too small to catch all the pain” she wants to heal (Line 15). These warnings imply that some things in life will affect the daughter profoundly and will not have simple solutions. However, for the speaker, one does not have to face that adversity alone, and there will be support in overcoming the obstacles that will be placed in her path.
Mother-Daughter Support
The theme of mother-daughter support is apparent in several parts of the text and demonstrates the mother’s willingness to help her child as she faces the challenges of life. For example, the speaker states that when the daughter first “realizes that Wonder Woman isn’t coming” (Line 12) the girl will know she does not “have to wear the cape all by herself” (Line 13). Thus, the girl will learn she must be the one to save herself, but her mother will help her bear the burden, providing a sense of support. Looking at the lines on heartbreak, the narrator promises to “keep an extra supply of chocolate / and rain boots” (Lines 23-24) handy so that her daughter will be comforted. This advice shows the mother’s desire to provide reinforcement in the face of the girl’s struggles. Finally, the concluding lines state that when the daughter encounters those who give her heartache, war, hatred, cynicism, and defeat, that they “really ought to meet” (Line 60, emphasis added) her mother. This list of perils is essentially the culmination of obstacles and challenges the daughter could and likely will face, and the mother’s response is that she will be there, no matter what life throws at her.
The Recurring Patterns of Life
The text presents a sense of recurrence in the references and imagery that are used. One example of this is found in the allusion to the 1961 song “Mama Said”, where the speaker says, “that’s the way my mom taught me / That there’ll be days like this” (Lines 31-32) This allusion aids in bringing to mind knowledge that is passed on from previous generations to the ones that follow—that is, from her mother, to her, to her daughter. This cyclical nature is also seen in the imagery of the ocean eternally returning to kiss the shoreline, “no matter how many times it is sent away” (Line 40). Finally, the narrator explains how the girl will start “over and over” (Line 42) in the process of figuring out life. These examples show how the author explores the theme of repeating patterns and the knowledge the narrator attempts to convey about them to her daughter.
Remaining Vulnerable in a Tough World
The theme of maintaining a sense of vulnerability in a difficult world can be found in various places in the poem, such as in lines 46-47, when the narrator says she wants her daughter to know that the world is made of sugar: “it can crumble so easily” (Line 47). However, she hopes the girl will not be too afraid to stick her “tongue out and taste it” (Line 48). This metaphor of the world being made of sugar works to illustrate that the mother would like her daughter to remain unjaded, despite the crumbling nature of things. Additionally, the speaker states that the daughter is “the girl with small hands and big eyes who never stops asking for more” (Line 51). Here, the daughter’s small hands could be said to represent her limited knowledge, while her large eyes and tendency to ask for more illustrate her vulnerability and perpetual curiosity about the world. The eyes’ representation is continued in line 54, in which the narrator tells the girl not to apologize for the way her “eyes refuse to stop shining” (Lines 54). She hopes the daughter’s eyes continue to be bright and to shine, for her to remain hopeful—even naïve—in spite of life’s obstacles. The mother ultimately wishes for her daughter to stay childlike and trusting so that she does not become hardened by the world, because this is how one fully experiences and enjoys life.
