Beautiful Country: A Memoir

One day, Ms. Tang took Qian’s class to the public library on Chatham Square, where a librarian read aloud The Hungry Caterpillar and another picture book. After they left, Qian’s mind was singularly focused on returning to the library, which was only a few steps from the office where her father clerked. From that point on, Qian visited the library each day after school, making her way through the children’s section. On one occasion, the librarian reprimanded Qian for rearranging the shelves, and Qian lamented that this place that felt like home was not truly hers. Still, Qian continued to enjoy the free access to books.

After enduring too many racial slurs in the home they shared with other residents, Ma Ma and Ba Ba decided to move. Their new apartment consisted of three rooms on the bottom floor of a house. Before they moved, Qian found a black cat that she named Moonlight and hid in an empty room in the building. One day, the landlady awoke Ba Ba because of the strange noises, so he fearfully investigated. Instead of a criminal, Ba Ba found a cat with a dead mouse in its mouth. Their new home was bigger and brighter, but Ma Ma and Ba Ba did not talk to each other much anymore. Qian’s mother, desperate to leave behind the grueling jobs she had taken on, asked her daughter whether she should cut hair or paint nails. Qian suggested hair, so Ma Ma spent her time practicing on a mannequin. She shared with Qian a story about a man who practiced shaving on a watermelon, always sticking the razor into the watermelon when he was finished. One day, distracted by a phone call, the man stuck the razor into the face of the man he was shaving. Ma Ma told Qian it was important to practice as if it always counted. 

Near the hair salon where Ma Ma worked, Qian’s mother showed her where she could eat congee cheaply. Fighting her ever-present hunger, Qian marveled that she was able to eat for only sixty cents. At the hair salon, Ma Ma was new and so had the unsavory job of giving head massages to men who made Qian uncomfortable. These men touched the women who were washing their hair and acted as though they enjoyed it too much. Qian felt guilty for giving her mother the advice that put her this position.

Twice a week, Qian and her mother walked around town with a rusty shopping cart to collect treasures that had been left out for trash. They called it “Shopping Day.” The items they found and brought home had to pass Ba Ba’s test: They had to be portable and practical, and they also had to be something that they would feel comfortable leaving behind if the occasion arose. Always, at the back of their minds, was the possibility that they might be deported for being in the country without authorization. The shopping cart itself was a product of “Shopping Day”—as was their couch and an old school desk.

On one “shopping” trip, Qian saw one of her classmates on the street. She was embarrassed to be seen rifling through trash with her mother. After they passed her classmate, they ran into elderly neighbors couple who were collecting cans to turn in for money. Ma Ma reassured Qian that they were not the only ones gleaning from the trash, but Qian still felt ashamed. Qian’s clothes were cheap, worn, and often too large so that she could grow into them. Her mother bought her one pair of shoes per year. One summer, Qian found a Rite Aid bag with other trash bags. When she looked inside, she was delighted and shocked to discover six Polly Pockets, a toy that she had envied from her classmates. Each one was “a portal to a different world” (127).

One customer at the hair salon where Ma Ma worked was notorious for his creepiness. James Lombardi was a large man whose breath smelled of onion and whose pockets were always full of dirty napkins. He always sought out the youngest and newest workers, meaning that Ma Ma was next to shampoo and massage his hair. Ma Ma complained to young Qian that her job made her feel like a prostitute. One Sunday, James took the Wang family on a special trip to McDonald’s. Qian was surprised at the deference Ba Ba showed the gross and ignorant man. At the restaurant, James paid for the meal. He tried to speak to Qian, mispronouncing Chinese words. He then admonished her parents for not teaching her more about her Chinese heritage. Qian could not understand why her parents emphasized speaking English perfectly when James was so bad at pronouncing Chinese words. 

Qian concluded that her mother must have found the free meal to be worth spending the time with James. On another outing without Ba Ba, James had brought with him another Chinese woman named Mimi. Mimi shook her butt to the music on the radio in the car and flirted with James to coerce more money out of him at the restaurant. Qian had her first Happy Meal with a tiny Barbie toy but was disappointed when she found how much less food was in box. When James went to the bathroom, Mimi told Qian’s mother that James was nasty and that he had impure thoughts about Qian. They continued to enjoy free meals at McDonald’s with James, but Ba Ba made sure to always attend.