Before the Ever After

As Woodson foreshadowed in Part 1, the novel’s conclusion is not a neat one. Zachariah Sr.’s birthday party, followed by the episode that lands him in the hospital, shows that the new normal will be unstable, unlike the family’s past. In the novel’s conclusion, Woodson shows that love, the bonds between family and friends, and music are how ZJ and his family will heal and find a new sense of normalcy.

ZJ’s party list is a call back to the well-established line between the world of fans and reporters (outsiders) and the world inside the Johnson home. “Invite List” is a list poem recounting who was not invited to Zachariah Sr.’s birthday party—it includes all of the people who were only around for the fantasy of a heroic football player and not the reality of his illness. By contrast, ZJ swells with love at the arrival of his friends, who arrive so late that he was afraid they’d never show up. Again, Woodson demonstrates the tight-knit nature of the Fantastic Four in their excitement to spend time together at the party.

Music helps ZJ’s father remember his past, and it helps the father and son maintain a strong relationship, despite Zachariah Sr.’s illness. On a Sunday morning in spring, Zachariah Sr. comes down the stairs asking ZJ if he’s ready to write some new songs. Spring represents renewal and new beginnings, so Woodson placing this event on a spring day also represents a fresh start. It gives ZJ a sense of hope. In the final poem, father and son sing together, which signals the renewal of their bond. ZJ expresses hope for the future, “And we have some kind of tomorrow somewhere” (161). He also expresses pride and acceptance that his father’s past is past, saying, “We have the history of a pig bladder / flying through the air, becoming / a football, becoming a game / my daddy always dreamed of playing // and then did play // for a long, long time” (161). This final sentence indicates that ZJ, and perhaps his family, have accepted that Zachariah Sr. has accomplished enough. The poem reads like a gratitude list, with ZJ counting all the ways the present moment is also enough because it is filled with hope, love, family, and joy.

The final portion of the novel also contains Everett’s brief appearance. He symbolizes a warning, the future of football, and Zachariah Sr.’s past all at once. The off-handed apology that he offers to ZJ represents popular attitudes about football at the time. These attitudes will keep the public in the dark, or in denial, about the connection between CTE and football for years to come. Everett apologizes by saying he broke the rules because “tackle’s more fun” (142). When Zachariah tells Everett his father doesn’t play because he was tackled too many times, Everett responds, “That’s not a reason, son.” Everett’s patronizing attitude and deep desire to play professional football are haunting to ZJ because he knows better now. His father is ill and will never play football again because he was once a young boy like Everett, who loved everything about the game. When he was young, ZJ’s father maybe even dismissed two-hand touch as not fun enough or good enough for him. The dramatic irony is that readers now know better as well. CTE is a serious, deadly disease, and one of the possible outcomes of achieving the seemingly heroic dream to play professional football. 

In their final conversation of the book, ZJ gives Everett a football that belonged to his father. ZJ simply tells Everett, “Good luck, bruh” (152), but the words hold more meaning for him than he can express. Woodson leaves the meaning open to readers’ interpretations, as the morals of stories are never clear cut. Everett’s character represents a kind of warning about the consequences of allowing young men to make decisions to play brutal contact sports without knowing all the risks. Even as the story takes place, the league, the doctors, and other people invested in the future of football hide the truth about CTE from young players at all levels. Woodson has shown the consequences of the sport at a personal level, and now she is alluding to society’s consequences for not telling young players what to expect. She’s warning readers there will be more Zachariah 44’s and their sons. At the same time, the moment also represents ZJ making peace with the past on behalf of his family. ZJ has sworn off football and wants no part in inheriting his father’s football glory. When he gives the ball away, he’s symbolically giving away all investment that he had in football.

Research may reveal a discrepancy between Woodson’s author’s note and the facts. The NFL seems to have acknowledged the connection between players’ concussions and CTE as early as 2009. Dr. Omalu won a Distinguished Service Award from the American Medical Association in 2016. Perhaps as a poet, Woodson uses the word “acknowledge” to mean “awarded and recognized as good,” as opposed to “confirmed as true.”