51 pages • 1 hour read
Nicola SandersDon't Let Her Stay
Fiction | Novel | Adult | Published in 2023A modern alternative to SparkNotes and CliffsNotes, SuperSummary offers high-quality Study Guides with detailed chapter summaries and analysis of major themes, characters, and more.
Themes
The Dangers of Denial
Content Warning: This novel contains descriptions of emotional abuse, death by suicide, and stigmatizing and potentially offensive language and stereotypes regarding people with mental health conditions. Its contents are reflected in this study guide.
Denial is a main source of conflict in Don’t Let Her Stay. Richard’s denial puts Joanne and Evie in direct danger, causes Joanne to lose trust in him, and ultimately results in his death. Chloe exacerbates Richard’s denial to undermine Joanne, while Richard denies the painful truth about Chloe. This denial, in turn, disorients Joanne and causes her trust in herself to falter. In this way, the author suggests that denial can be dangerous, especially when the truth is painful.
The author peppers Richard’s hidden suspicion of Chloe throughout the first half of the novel, conveyed through his tendency to take her side and quick temper when Joanne suggests Chloe is up to something. Though, initially, this appears to be cruelty, the author suggests that there is more to his behavior. In Chapter 27, for example, after Richard tells Joanne about Sophie and laments Chloe’s trauma, Joanne assesses that “[h]e knows what she’s like, but he pretends he doesn’t. Or maybe he is so much in denial that he can’t bring himself to admit it” (164). This motivates Joanne to dig deeper into the deaths. After Joanne’s conversation with Jim, she realizes that he may behave this way because of fear, deep down, that Chloe is dangerous and “because the other option is simply unthinkable” (197). For a short time, Joanne’s assessment of Richard aligns with the ultimate truth: He knows the truth but can’t bear to admit it.
However, the force of Richard’s denial pushes Joanne away as she learns the lies, half-truths, and lies of omission Richard told her. After Richard tells Joanne that Chloe “had a few sessions with a professional” (198) and “wasn’t even there” the night Sophie died (199), for instance, Joanne learns from Jim that Chloe was locked up for several months and that all of the Atkinsons were home when Sophie died. Jim’s insight reveals the lies that Richard told Joanne because of his denial. Jim suggests that Richard’s denial might be “affecting his recollections” (212). The revelation that Richard lied to Joanne about Chloe’s past makes it more difficult for Joanne to trust Richard in the final chapters, leaving her vulnerable to Chloe’s lies.
Richard finally faces the truth about Chloe at the novel’s climax, remarking, “When it’s your own child, you never want to believe there’s something wrong with them” (233). However, Richard’s acceptance comes only after his denial fractures Joanne's trust in him and she changes to Chloe’s side. Chloe kills Richard at the end of Chapter 43, illustrating The Dangers of Denial, but the danger is not clear until after Helen reveals Chloe’s true nature and shows that Chloe manipulated Joanne and took advantage of Richard’s denial to enact her revenge. The timing of Helen’s revelation increases its impact, because it indicates not only that denial cost Richard his life but also that it continues to put his wife and infant in mortal danger. By suggesting that Richard’s murder could have been prevented had he not been in such denial about Chloe’s nature the author suggests that denial is dangerous, especially when the truth is frightening and uncomfortable.
The Effects of Gaslighting
A primary source of tension and conflict between Joanne, Richard, and Chloe is the way Chloe manipulates Joanne to make her doubt her thoughts, feelings, and experiences and question her mental well-being. This type of manipulation is called gaslighting. Chloe’s gaslighting clouds Joanne’s perception of reality and removes her confidence in her experiences and decisions. Richard unknowingly aids Chloe in this effort by attributing Joanne’s suspicions to perceived mental illness. It is important to note that Richard’s behavior, though cruel and offensive, is not technically gaslighting because his intent is not to undermine Joanne but to deny Chloe’s true nature. Still, Chloe makes use of sociocultural stigmas against mental illness and Joanne’s family history to gaslight her into believing she is experiencing post-partum psychosis.
Chloe consistently manipulates Joanne, setting her up for failure and describing versions of events different from what Joanne knows happened, then using the resulting confusion to suggest to Richard that Joanne has a mental illness. For example, in town, Chloe disputes Joanne’s recollection of where they were to meet, accusing her of being forgetful and old. Chloe also flares Joanne’s protective instinct of Evie by engaging in dangerous behavior, as in the medicine and shaking incidents, to get a reaction out of Joanne before complaining about the reaction to Richard. In these moments, she forces Joanne to agree with Chloe or look bad in front of Richard, undermining Joanne’s authority and relationship with Richard either way. For instance, Chloe’s manipulation of Richard into doubting Joanne’s mental health is apparent in Chapter 12, after Joanne catches Chloe in Evie’s room with paracetamol and panics. Richard declares that Joanne is “out of control” (75), undermining her fears about Chloe and making her worry about her own mental health and safety.
As the novel progresses, communication between Joanne and Richard breaks down, with Richard growing increasingly impatient with Joanne’s suspicions. Chloe both uses and benefits from this communication breakdown to gaslight Joanne. In Chapter 15, for example, Chloe uses Joanne’s mother’s post-partum psychosis to suggest she’s experiencing mental illness herself: “It’s like, something you inherit, right? I only ask because you’ve been acting really strange” (94). Richard builds on this accusation, later insisting that Joanne is “obsessively distrustful” and “overreacting to things” (100) and “not thinking straight” (132). The combination of Chloe’s gaslighting and Richard’s accusations work together to wear on Joanne’s self-confidence. Richard’s suggestion that he might have Joanne hospitalized in a psychiatric facility is a major step in the breakdown of trust between them, leaving her more vulnerable to manipulation. The author suggests that Richard’s outdated and stigmatizing attitude toward people with mental illness ironically puts him and his family in more danger than they might otherwise have experienced.
Joanne’s self-doubt increases when she cannot prove her memory is correct rather than Chloe’s lies. This type of gaslighting, using small and unverifiable details, is common in the thriller genre. As Chloe throws seeds of doubt her way, Joanne feels she’s “going to go mad, if [she’s] not already” (100), and she asks, “I’m not crazy. Right?” (145). Joanne’s use of stigmatizing language to refer to mental illness suggests she has absorbed such stigmas, which now undermine her confidence. Chloe’s lies and manipulation combine with and encourage Richard’s denial to make Joanne’s confidence falter. By making Joanne doubt her instincts, Chloe is able to manipulate her trust until late in the novel. In this way, the author suggests how gaslighting can put people in danger and benefits from stigmas against mental illness.
The Isolation and Challenges of Full-Time Motherhood
When the novel begins, protagonist Joanne is four months post-partum and struggling with first-time motherhood, simultaneously exhausted, bored, insecure, and lonely. Joanne’s struggles illustrate the way full-time motherhood can isolate women from their social lives and from their pre-motherhood perception of themselves, leading to loneliness and low self-esteem. This, in turn, leaves Joanne vulnerable to manipulation and gaslighting.
The novel indicates that Joanne’s self-esteem has declined since becoming a mother. Several factors contribute to this, including the exhaustion that comes with having a baby that does not sleep. She is often too tired for basic self-care, such as washing her hair. She expresses longing for her pre-baby body and lifestyle, juxtaposing them with the new reality that she “can put [her]self to sleep just talking to [her]self” (14). Joanne’s struggles with her self-esteem stem from her full-time role as a mother. She’s tired, her body has changed, and she is unable to take care of herself all the time. Joanne’s post-partum insecurities illustrate the way full-time motherhood can isolate people and make them feel separate from the person they were before motherhood. Joanne’s insecurity that she does not measure up to the person she was before Evie was born leaves her vulnerable to Chloe’s gaslighting and prone to believe Richard’s undermining comments.
Joanne is also isolated physically. In Chapter 1, Joanne details the deep loneliness that comes with living in “such a big house miles away from town” (7), which Richard bought when she was pregnant. Because Evie makes it hard for Joanne to leave the house and Richard is at work all day, Joanne finds herself alone most of the time and in desperate need of contact with other adults. Separated from her friends and career, Joanne pesters Roxanne, the housekeeper, just for the social contact: “I’m dying to talk to someone. I feel like I haven’t spoken to anyone in days” (6). Joanne struggles to socialize in part because of her post-partum exhaustion. Her failed efforts to connect with Roxanne illustrate the social isolation that has come with being physically far from friends and stuck looking after an infant. Joanne’s desire to connect with others makes her immediately vulnerable to Chloe’s manipulation and makes Chloe’s disinterest in her all the more distressing.
Joanne also feels insecurities related to motherhood. For example, she does not produce enough milk to breastfeed Evie, despite her desire to do so. In her thirties, Joanne is also older than many first-time mothers, leaving her insecure about her age. Chloe takes advantage of both of these insecurities. For example, she often makes comments about Joanne’s age, suggesting that she is forgetful because she is old. By focusing on Joanne’s shortcomings as a mother, Chloe seeks to further isolate Joanne and make Richard doubt her fitness for parenthood. Throughout the novel, the author suggests that full-time motherhood is mentally, physically, and socially isolating for women without support systems, like Joanne.
