Forget Me Not

Calli’s mom suddenly realizes that she forgot to trim Calli’s hair that week. Calli tries to drum up the courage to tell her that she doesn’t want her hair cut anymore, but the tea kettle sounds from the kitchen, and Calli decides not to say anything.

Calli tells herself that next time she’ll have the courage to tell her mom not to cut her hair.

For the past three months, Beatriz has continued to mock Calli at school and Jinsong has continued to stay quiet. He still walks home with Calli every day, but they don’t talk about the fact that Jinsong doesn’t stand up for her at school.

Calli considers how new tics can appear seemingly out of nowhere, “like the frost on my window / one chilly morning / in February” (133).

During English class, Calli feels an itch on top of her head and hits it with her knuckles. Beatriz draws attention to Calli’s new tic, so Calli tries not to itch her scalp, but the pressure builds and soon she’s hitting her head hard, repeatedly. Beatriz leads the class in laughing at Calli.

Mrs. Ainsley, the art teacher, stops Calli in the hall to remind her that she still needs to finish her self-portrait. Calli has started and erased her portrait several times, opting to work on other projects instead. Mrs. Ainsley tells Calli to work on the self-portrait from now on.

It is the week before Valentine’s Day and Calli wants to ask Jinsong to be her valentine. Her new tic kept her from asking in English class, but Calli sees Jinsong at lunch and decides “it’s now or never” (138).

Jinsong is getting his lunch when he sees Calli walking toward him. He thinks that she looks pretty, but he’s also scared that other people will notice her talking to him. Calli asks him to be her valentine, but Jinsong lies and says that he already has a valentine. Jinsong doesn’t want his classmates to think he’s “a loser” by being associated with Calli (139). Duncan makes fun of Calli again and Jinsong says nothing while Calli walks away. Jinsong feels bad, so he bribes Kenny with a sugar cookie to ask Calli to be his valentine instead.

Calli walks back to her seat by the garbage cans, disappointed that Jinsong said no and wondering if he lied about having a valentine already.

A boy with blue eyes named Kenny comes up to Calli and asks her to be his valentine. Calli looks at Jinsong, who seems happy about this, and wonders if it was his idea. She tells Kenny, “fine” (142).

Calli’s tics start again in science class and her shoulders jerk backwards and forwards. Her teacher asks her if anything is wrong, but Calli doesn’t respond and sinks deeper into her chair. She doesn’t think that her tics are wrong.

The librarian comes into the classroom, momentarily taking the attention away from Calli, but once her science teacher steps out into the hall, Calli’s tics intensify, and she can’t get them to stop. Calli starts to cry.

Calli taps her foot so hard that she falls backward onto the floor. She hurts her head and the class starts to laugh.

Jinsong wants to get out of his seat and check on Calli, but instead he sits and pretends to work on his assignment. He watches Kenny go over to Calli to help her, and at first Jinsong is jealous, but then he’s glad that Kenny went to Calli so that Jinsong “[didn’t] have to” (147).

Calli is grateful to Kenny for coming to help her, but she doesn’t think she can tell him that the reason she’s jerking is because of her Tourette syndrome. Kenny thinks that she’s cold.

Instead of telling Kenny what’s wrong, Calli runs out of the classroom.

Calli runs through the school until she finds a hiding spot under a drinking fountain. She stops trying to hold back her tears or her tics.

Jinsong is disappointed in himself for not helping Calli, but he is certain that she won’t forgive him now. He wonders why he let Duncan and Nyle’s opinions get in the way of his own feelings for Calli. He plans to “just disappear now” (151).

When Calli was eight, she was diagnosed with Tourette syndrome, and the neurologist told her that it would be best not to tell anyone about it. Her doctor said, “[I]f people knew, / they’d treat [Calli] different” because of how Tourette syndrome is portrayed in movies and TV shows (152).

Kenny, Mrs. Locke, and Mrs. Emerson all find Calli hiding and ask her what’s wrong. Calli decides that she should’ve told them all sooner and tells them about her tics and her Tourette syndrome.

Calli goes to the nurse’s office to get an ice pack for her head and the school counselor, Mrs. Baumgartner, comes into the room to try to talk to Calli. Calli doesn’t want to talk, so Mrs. Baumgartner calls Calli’s mom, who tries to encourage her to share with Mrs. Baumgartner. Calli doesn’t want to share because she believes that no one understands how she is feeling.

When Mrs. Locke comes back to the science class, she tells everyone that Calli has Tourette syndrome and that’s why she made all the jerking motions. Jinsong feels guilty for not talking to Calli about her tics and not defending her from bullying. He hides in the boys’ bathroom until the end of the day.

Mrs. Baumgartner mispronounces Calli’s name as she’s trying to get Calli to talk about what happened. Calli sits quietly and tries to hold in her tics.

Calli tells Mrs. Baumgartner about her tics, and mentioning them causes them to “leap / out of [Calli] / like grasshoppers in a brush fire” (159). Mrs. Baumgartner compares Calli’s tics to a yawn or a sneeze, an involuntary reaction that’s perfectly normal and hard to suppress.

Mrs. Baumgartner tells Calli that she needs to “let [her tics] out” (161). At first, Calli refuses.

Mrs. Baumgartner leads Calli through a series of affirmations: “I am smart [...] I am strong [...] and I can do ANYTHING [...] I set my mind to do” (162-63). Calli thinks that the affirmations are silly, but she does them anyway.

Jinsong avoids seeing Calli after school and takes the long way home. He sees that, despite him not helping her, Calli still waited for him by their spot at the oak tree. Jinsong is upset and runs the rest of the way home, locking the door behind him.

Calli waits for Jinsong at their spot by the oak tree, even though she’s “blazing mad at him” (165). He doesn’t show up, so Calli walks home alone, throwing her bag over her bed when she gets to her room.

Calli’s mom has left a note on the fridge telling her that she’s gone to Tom’s house for the evening. She reminds Calli to do her homework and unload the dishes.

Calli remembers that her mom’s previous late night out had ended with them moving to a new town. Calli wishes that her mom could stay single so that she wouldn’t get hurt again. Calli thinks that it may be for the best that her mom and Tom break up so that Calli can move away from Jinsong and Beatriz.

Jinsong decides that he’s going to just “forget about Calli” (170). He tells himself that he shouldn’t have ever walked her home the first time, anyway.

Calli is torn between her desire to leave Jinsong because she’s angry and her dread of leaving her first real friend.

Calli decides to visit Jinsong, but when she walks up to their door, she sees that the family is eating dinner with Beatriz Lopez.

Calli assumes that Jinsong has a crush on Beatriz, which is hurtful to her because she thought that he liked her, and Beatriz has been bullying Calli all year. Calli goes home without talking to Jinsong.

After dinner, Jinsong confronts Beatriz about the way she’s been treating Calli. Beatriz shrugs off his accusation but mocks him for liking Calli. Jinsong tries to hide that he likes Calli, instead claiming that he’s “the student body president. So [he’s] supposed to be friends with everyone” (174). Beatriz points out that he hasn’t been a good friend to her this year, but Jinsong says that Beatriz hasn’t been fun to be around since her mom left.

That night, Calli can’t sleep because she keeps replaying the day in her head. She leaves her room and sits in the hallway in the moonlight.

Calli writes a poem about escaping to the moon, where no one can make fun of her anymore.

In the morning, Calli packs her things as if she is moving again. Her mom wonders what she’s doing, which is how Calli finds out that her mom and Tom are still together.

Jinsong and Beatriz are at school early the next day to paint posters for the student council. Beatriz tricks Jinsong into chasing her with a paintbrush and Jinsong gets in trouble.

All the students are getting gifts for Valentine’s Day except for Calli. She hopes that Kenny will bring her a valentine at lunch.

When Calli comes back to her desk after sharpening her pencil, she has a valentine and a gift on her desk signed by Jinsong. At first, she’s excited.

Calli opens the second valentine on her desk, and it calls her gullible. Duncan and Nyle start laughing at her. They planted the false valentines and pretended to be Jinsong. Duncan tells Calli that “Jinsong thinks you’re butt-ugly” (182).

Calli feels terrible because of the cruel things that Duncan and Nyle have done.

Calli wishes that she still had long hair so that she could hide from Jinsong behind it.

Jinsong wants to tell Calli how he feels, but he’s afraid. He also wants to tell Calli that Kenny won’t be at school today because he’s sick, but instead, Jinsong stays quiet. After school, Jinsong asks his mom to drive him to a flower shop to buy poppies for Calli.

That evening, Calli eats a frozen dinner alone because Tom has taken her mom out on a date. Calli feels like she should be excited that her mom’s relationship is going so well, but instead Calli is sad.

Calli develops a new tic: popping her jaw. It hurts, and she tries to hold the tic back, but she can’t, and it just continues to ache.

Calli thinks that she’ll need to eat soft foods for the next week to recover from the ache in her jaw. She asks herself, “Why am I such a freak?” (190).

Jinsong brings the poppies and the valentine to Calli’s house, but she doesn’t answer the door. He leaves the flowers and the card on her doorstep, but when Calli brings the flowers inside, she immediately feeds them to the garbage disposal.