From the Ashes: My Story of Being Métis, Homeless, and Finding My Way

From the Ashes is subtitled My Story of Being Métis, Homeless, and Finding My Way. Ideas of culture and heritage, and how they feed into identity, form a central thread in the book; Jesse Thistle’s background as Métis-Cree is important context. The book opens with a poem titled “Indigenous Affairs,” in which Thistle describes being broke and living on the streets while dealing with drug addiction; the final lines suggest that a Royal Canadian Mounted Police officer understands why Thistle is fishing change out of the Centennial Flame fountain. Although nothing in the poem explicitly suggests Thistle’s cultural background, these lines point to his recognition of his Indigenous background as relevant to many of his experiences.

Growing up, Thistle does not actively engage with his culture and heritage. However, he notices aspects of it, such as his maternal grandparents’ road-allowance home, his maternal grandmother Kokum Nancy speaking Michif, and his paternal grandmother Jackie’s mixed heritage. Yet living with his paternal grandparents does not allow Thistle much opportunity to explore his identity. Although Thistle finds Brampton beautiful and orderly, the neighborhood is vastly different from his maternal grandparents’ home. Furthermore, while living in Brampton, Thistle is mocked for his background. Sometimes, this teasing is indirect, such as when Thistle’s friends talk about a woman dressed in feathers and leather buckskins in a pornographic magazine; other times, it is more overt, like when former friend Richard insults Thistle about his community’s struggle with alcoholism. Young Thistle has no concrete knowledge of his cultural background; at the same time, he is acutely aware of the negative stereotypes associated with his community. This leads to a conflicting mix of emotions: resentment at having no one to answer his questions, jealousy regarding his brothers’ confidence in their heritage, and fear and disgust regarding his own culture, causing him to distance himself from it.

These conflicting emotions lead Thistle to engage in problematic behaviors and choices, such as drinking and abuse of drugs—all done to be accepted by non-Indigenous peers. These patterns leave him estranged from his family and friends and with no network to help battle his addictions. Thistle’s cultural identity remains an unresolved issue, surfacing at significant points in his life, like his dream of the Battle of Batoche. But over time, Thistle observes that his personal experiences reflect a societal reality: These experiences disproportionately plague his community, and he wonders why.

Eventually, Thistle comes full circle—rediscovering his culture and heritage while seeking answers in university and, in the process, developing a stronger self of identity. Furthermore, influenced by his past, Thistle chooses to closely study and work with his community and the societal issues that plague them—retrospectively realizing how he is both a product of choice and circumstance. He changes from being unaware of his cultural heritage, to denying it as part of his identity, to eventually embracing it. He not only integrates his culture and heritage as parts of his identity but also allows them to guide his life’s larger purpose.