Girls & Sex: Navigating the Complicated New Landscape

Nonfiction | Book | Adult | Published in 2016

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Summary

Background

Chapter Summaries & Analyses

Introduction

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Key Figures

Themes

Index of Terms

Important Quotes

Essay Topics

Chapter 7Chapter Summaries & Analyses

Chapter 7: “What If We Told Them the Truth”

Chapter 7, Section 1 Summary and Analysis: “Strange Bedfellows: Sex and Politics”

Charis Denison, a youth advocate, presents accurate and nonjudgmental sex ed information to high school students throughout California. Her curriculum includes sexual consent, assertiveness skills, gender roles, and more. She also discusses sexual pleasure with her students. Research confirms this approach is the best for reducing risk. Her work is controversial, but programs like hers are gradually gaining acceptance. Organizations such as the World Health Organization, UNESCO, and the United Nations General Assembly all worked with the Population Council to put out an online curriculum that promotes similar approaches to sex education.

The inception of the birth control pill in 1960, followed by the publication of The Feminine Mystique and then the Supreme Court’s guarantee of abortion rights, all led to a distinct turn in the United States’ approach to adolescent sex. Politically, though, sex among teens was spun as risky and a “crisis” needing control. Teenage pregnancy, mostly among African American teens, was blamed for perpetuating poverty. In 1978, Senator Edward Kennedy established the Adolescent Health Services and Pregnancy Prevention and Care Act, which championed sex education programs that focused on risk management, contraception, and abortion education, and discussed the idea of “readiness” rather than waiting for marriage.

Conservatives were livid. In 1981, Ronald Reagan countered with “the chastity law,” which required that federally funded education teach abstinence. The Clinton administration more fully funded the program, whose message grew to suggest that only marital sex was psychologically, physically, and socially healthy. By 2005, over 80% of these programs were actively teaching inaccurate information.

Studies show adolescents in abstinence-only programs not only don’t abstain, but they are also 60% more likely to become unintentionally pregnant. Despite the statistics and numerous studies, conservative leaders still “clutch pearls” over the idea of comprehensive sex education and continue to push for the abstinence-only ideology.

Chapter 7, Section 2 Summary and Analysis: “Life Is Like an English Essay”

Charis Denison suggests high schoolers should treat their life skill decisions like they would an English essay: “reflect-revise-redraft.” Instead of blaming themselves or feeling hopeless, they could back up, rethink what happened, create a plan for next time, and move forward. Much of her curriculum is less about sex and more about making decisions and communication skills. She notices that while the girls she teaches are outspoken in classrooms or with their friends, they stay silent when it comes to uncomfortable situations regarding boys. She discusses “fallbacks” that everyone has. For example, if a girl’s general approach to asserting what she wants is to stay silent or acquiesce to others because she wants people to like her, her fallback in a hookup situation will probably be the same.

Chapter 7, Section 3 Summary and Analysis: “Going Dutch”

Teenagers in the Netherlands have the lowest pregnancy rate in the industrialized world, and the United States has the highest. The Dutch are more likely to delay sex, more likely to use contraception when they do have it, and more likely to have fewer partners. Dutch girls also report their sexual experiences as occurring in loving, respectful relationships. They are more comfortable with their bodies and desires, as well. Their teachers and parents speak more candidly with them about sex and pleasure. Their government offers free pelvic exams, contraception, and abortions to anyone under 22 without parental consent. The US treated the change in teenage sexual activity as a crisis, while the Dutch supported the changes that came with the sexual revolution. When a national poll showed that most Dutch teenagers still believed boys should be the more active partner during sex, the government added “interaction skills” to the sex-ed curriculum, which teaches teenagers how to let their partners know what feels good and how to set boundaries. Orenstein argues the US would benefit from the Dutch approach to sex education.

Chapter 7, Section 4 Summary and Analysis: “Getting Down and Dirty—and Ethical”

This section shows one of Denison’s classrooms in action. She presents questions and activities to the kids to get them thinking about consent, pleasure, and intimacy. The conversations are honest and thought-provoking, and the students are engaged. At the end of every class, Denison openly answers anonymous questions, dispelling myths and building knowledge in the process.

Orenstein heralds the need for parents to talk to their kids, not just about anatomy, contraception, and risks but about good sex, which includes discussions about pleasure, masturbation, communication, and decision-making.

Amy Schalet, a sociology professor, created the “ABCD” model for raising sexually healthy and aware kids. “A” represents the need for teens to be autonomous, understand their desires, and be assertive about expressing them and setting limits. “B” stands for building supportive relationships that are respectful, caring, and built on trust. “C” concerns the need to stay connected with one’s kids. “D” emphasizes recognizing and respecting diversity among people and that there are many sexual orientations, cultural beliefs, and personal choices.

Orenstein summarizes her hopes for girls’ “intimate justice.” Her conclusions about teenage girls and sex come from a cumulative understanding of where Americans go wrong, what they fail to acknowledge, and how their treatment of sex among teenagers, especially girls, is caught up in political and cultural messages and divisiveness. Orenstein’s hopes for teen girls and sex are aspirational, but she suggests they aren’t too difficult to achieve.