I Am The Messenger

“There’s an aura to this card, and it’s been given to me. Not to Dickhead Ed. To me—the real Ed Kennedy. The future Ed Kennedy. No longer simply a cab-driving hopeless case. What will I do with it? Who will I be?”

As Ed holds the first card, the ace of diamonds, his mother’s verbal abuse represented by the nickname “Dickhead Ed,” fades into the background. The questions Ed asks himself in this passage connect to the theme of Potential for Personal Growth. As he imagines the possibilities that this unexpected message may offer, he envisions himself becoming someone different, “the real Ed Kennedy.”

“Why can’t the world hear? I ask myself. Within a few moments I ask it many times. Because it doesn’t care, I finally answer, and I know I’m right. It’s like I’ve been chosen. But chosen for what? I ask. The answer’s quite simple: To care.”

Ed’s first visit to Edgar Street marks an important moment for the novel’s plot and the protagonist’s character development. This is the first address on the ace of diamonds, and it’s pivotal to Ed’s understanding of what it means to be the messenger. The violence perpetrated by the man on Edgar Street is a jarring escalation from the novel’s content up to that point, which emphasizes the urgency of Ed’s mission. The protagonist’s realization that he has been “chosen” to “care” develops the themes of Potential for Personal Growth and The Power of Human Connection. As the story continues, Ed’s capacity for compassion leads him to grow in ways he never anticipated and to touch many lives.

“I ask you: What would you do if you were me? Tell me. Please tell me!”

In his panic, Ed breaks the fourth wall to beg the reader for advice as he holds a gun to a man’s back. Confronting the husband from Edgar Street is the last mission Ed completes on the ace of diamonds, and this scene takes place during the final chapter of Part 1. Ed debates whether he should kill the man, and his appeal to the audience heightens the suspense of Part 1’s cliffhanger ending.

“Good luck and keep delivering. I’m quite sure you realize your life depends on it. Goodbye.”

The man who sends Ed this ominous letter that accompanies the ace of clubs is ultimately revealed to be the novel’s author, but his identity remains a secret in Part 2. The warning that Ed’s life depends on his playing the part of messenger has multiple interpretations. Ed takes this as a threat upon his life, an understandable conclusion since Daryl and Keith delivered the ace of clubs by breaking into his house and beating him unconscious. However, as the story continues, the reader realizes that Ed’s life depends on delivering the messages because being the messenger allows him to find meaning in life and achieve his potential.

“I think, Don’t blame it anymore, Ed. Take it. I even move out onto the front porch and see my own limited view of the world. I want to take that world, and for the first time ever, I feel like I can do it. I’ve survived everything I’ve had to so far. I’m still standing here.”

Ed recovers from the strain of intervening at Edgar Street and takes up the role of messenger again. His conviction that he can “take that world” illustrates his renewed confidence as he starts to investigate the ace of clubs. His sense of purpose and opportunity in this passage is like the feeling he had when he first held the ace of diamonds. Now, however, he’s more experienced. He’s seen more of the world and what it needs from him and surviving “everything [he’s] had to so far” has given him a better understanding of his own potential.

“‘You know, they say that there are countless saints who have nothing to do with church and almost no knowledge of God. But they say God walks with those people without them ever knowing it.’ His eyes are inside me now, followed by the words. ‘You’re one of those people, Ed. It’s an honor to know you.’”

Ed allows himself to accept Father O’Reilly’s praise. In Chapter 11, Sophie also likened Ed to a saint, but he replied that he was just a stupid human. Ed’s ability to accept the priest’s words of gratitude shows that his self-image is improving as the novel continues. The more messages that Ed delivers, the more he realizes his own potential and sees worth in himself.

“I hope for a moment that they both understand what they’re doing and what they’re proving. I want to tell them, but I realize that all I do is deliver the message. I don’t decipher it or make sense of it for them. They need to do that themselves.”

As Ed watches Daniel Rose help his injured brother home, he reflects on what his role as messenger entails. Other than his very first message at Edgar Street, Ed’s mission to the Rose boys is the only message that requires him to use violence. However, in this case, Ed’s aim is to bring a family together rather than to drive an abusive relative away. This develops the theme of The Power of Human Connection.

“I at least deserve something, I reason. Audrey could love me just for a second, surely. But I know. Without doubt, I know nothing will happen. She won’t kiss me. She’ll barely touch me. I’m running all over town, getting trodden on, beaten up, abused, and for what? What do I get out of it? What’s in it for Ed Kennedy? I’ll tell you what. Nothing. But I’m lying.”

This passage shows that Ed’s personal growth is still a work in progress halfway through the aces. Ironically, his moment of self-pity reveals that he is grateful to be the messenger. He endures many struggles with the first two aces and is indeed “trodden on, beaten up, abused” on a few occasions, such as when the Rose boys claim their revenge. Ed tries to tell himself that he receives “[n]othing” for all his trouble, but he finds meaning in his suffering and knows that his experiences are transforming him into a stronger, more compassionate person.

“Sometimes people are beautiful. Not in looks. Not in what they say. Just in what they are.”

As their children dance in a night made radiant by the new Christmas lights, Lua and Marie Tatupu share a kiss. Their love contributes to the theme of The Power of Human Connection. Witnessing moments of beauty and connection is one of the greatest rewards that Ed receives for his work as the messenger. Zusak’s use of fragments and repetition enhance the lyrical flow of his language, giving this passage a quality reminiscent of prose poetry.

“I think about what Audrey’s been telling me. Maybe I truly am shedding the old Ed Kennedy for this new person who’s full of purpose rather than incompetence. Maybe one morning I’ll wake up and step outside of myself to look back at the old me lying dead among the sheets. It’s a good thing, I know. But how can a good thing suddenly feel so sad? I’ve wanted this from the beginning.”

In this passage, Ed reflects on his personal growth and the unforeseen consequences of change. Although Audrey is not yet ready to act on her love for Ed, she is afraid of losing him. At this point in the novel, she’s the only one of his friends who knows that he kept the card. Ed started delivering the messages because he wanted to cast off “the old Ed Kennedy” and become “this new person who’s full of purpose rather than incompetence,” but he never anticipated that leaving behind his old self would also create distance between himself and the person he most wishes to be close to.

“I know it’s not only my father she hates, but herself. That’s when I realize she’s got it wrong. It’s not the place, I think. It’s the people. We’d have all been the same anywhere else.”

Ed and his mother’s painful conversation on her porch develops the theme of Potential for Personal Growth. She hates him, his late father, and herself for wasting their potential. As the recipients of Ed’s messages illustrate, many of the people in their town contend with issues like poverty, violence, and substance abuse. While Ed’s mother blames her family’s problems on the setting, Ed holds onto the hope that a person’s circumstances do not dictate their potential and strives to prove this through his own actions.

“For the first time, a message has touched part of my own life in some way. Who was it for? For Ma or me? Then I hear her words again. It takes a lot of love to hate you like this. I think I saw some relief cross her face when she told me that. The message was hers.”

Before Ed saw his mother at the restaurant, the cards sent him exclusively to complete strangers. Ed faces more jeopardy when delivering messages to people who are already part of his life. While they won’t hurt him the way the Rose boys and their friends did, they can leave much deeper wounds as his mother’s cutting words demonstrate. The message for his mother serves as a prelude for the ace of hearts, which sends Ed to help his three dearest friends. The messages become increasingly close to home leading up to the joker, which has Ed’s own address on it.

“‘I’m sorry,’ I tell him now as I get up to leave. ‘I’m so sorry, Dad.’ I walk away, afraid. Afraid because I don’t want my own funeral to be that forlorn and empty. I want words at my funeral. But I guess that means you need life in your life.”

Ed’s father dies before the novel begins, yet he holds a prominent role in the story and in Ed’s thoughts. Ed’s mother hated her husband for squandering his potential, and she hates Ed because she sees the same failure in their son. During Ed’s visit to his father’s grave on Christmas Eve, he fears that he will meet a similar end. This foreshadows Ed’s visit to the cemetery in Chapter 55 when Daryl and Keith inform him that he was made a messenger so that he could evade his father’s fate and have more “life in [his] life.”

“‘It’s the person, Ma, not the place. If you left here, you’d have been the same anywhere else.’ It’s truth enough, but I can’t stop now. ‘If I ever leave this place’— I swallow—‘I’ll make sure I’m better here first.’”

On Christmas, Ed revisits the conversation he had with his mother in Chapter 36. This time, he voices his thoughts and stands up for himself. He begins to earn her respect and expresses his commitment to personal growth by promising to “make sure [he’s] better here first” before leaving his town.

“I get to my feet and join Ritchie in the river.”

The ace of hearts sends Ed to help Ritchie, which reveals the similarities between the two. Both young men desire purpose and a sense of direction. Ritchie enters the river as a metaphor for how life rushes past him. Ed joins him because he also shares that experience.

“I’m afraid for Marv and for Audrey. I’m afraid for me. You can’t let them down, I lecture myself as each minute shoves past. Afraid. Afraid. I didn’t come this far only to fail the ones I’ve known longest and care for most. I run through them again, from Edgar Street to Ritchie. Afraid. Afraid. The messages give me courage.”

As Ed prepares to deliver his final two messages to his best friend and the woman he loves, he draws courage from the lives he’s already touched. This develops the theme of The Power of Human Connection and reminds the reader of the growth Ed has already achieved. He’s a different person than he was before he received the ace of diamonds, and each of his messages has helped him become someone who can help those he’s “known longest and [cares] for most.”

“‘He may have brought you shame, and I know you left town for it.’ Again, I look at the slightly bloodied figure that is Marv. ‘But what he just did in facing you—that was respect. You don’t get any more decent or proud than that.’ Marv shivers and takes a slight sip of his blood. ‘He knew this would happen, but here he is.’ Now I get my eyes to step into his. ‘If you were him, would you have been able to do the same? Would you have faced you?’”

Ed demonstrates loyalty and compassion when he defends his best friend after Henry Boyd attacks Marv both physically and verbally for bringing shame on his family. Ed praises Marv’s actions as “decent” and “proud,” qualities that perhaps no one else has ever seen in Marv before. At the same time, Ed doesn’t judge or villainize Henry Boyd because he knows that Suzanne’s father has suffered, too. Ed’s experiences as a messenger give him the courage and the empathy that he needs to boldly handle this situation.

“Marv’s smile and the giant glass tears on his face are two of the most beautiful things I’ve ever seen.”

Marv’s first meeting with his daughter develops the theme of The Power of Human Connection. His joyful tears form a stark contrast to his usual gruff, belligerent manner. Just as Marv’s demeanor is transformed and made beautiful, so, too, is his friendship with Ed forever changed.

“She let herself love me for three minutes. Can three minutes last forever? I ask myself, but already I know the answer. Probably not, I reply. But maybe they last long enough.”

Ed delivers his final message by dancing with Audrey in Chapter 51. The chapter title refers to the length of the song, and she allows herself to love and be loved for three minutes. The protagonist demonstrates his selflessness by accepting that three minutes can’t “last forever” instead of expecting Audrey to change. Audrey’s decision to start a romantic relationship with Ed at the end of the novel is even more meaningful because it is her own free choice rather than a fate determined by the aces.

“Twelve messages have been delivered. Four aces have been completed. This feels like the greatest day of my life. I’m alive, I think. I won. I feel freedom for the first time in months, and an air of contentedness wanders next to me all the way home.”

After delivering the message to Audrey, Ed feels triumphantly “alive” and tastes “freedom for the first time in months.” However, the fourth ace is not the last card Ed receives, and the events of Part 5 soon shatter Ed’s “contentedness” and what remains of the fourth wall.

“‘Tell me you just wanted me to help people and…’ ‘And what, Ed?’ I close my eyes. ‘Make myself better—make me worth something.’”

In a moment of desperation, Ed begs Audrey to tell him that she’s the one who sent him the cards. Ed believes that his role as messenger served a twofold purpose, “to help people” and to “make [him] better—make [him] worth something.” The former develops the theme of The Power of Human Connection, and the second connects to the theme of Potential for Personal Growth.

“‘Well?’ he asks again. ‘Are you still looking at a dead man?’ This time, I answer. I say, ‘No,’ and the criminal speaks. ‘Well, it was worth it, then….’ He went to jail for those people. He went to jail for me….”

The bank robber’s reappearance brings the novel full circle. In Chapter 4, he told Ed to remember that he was a dead man every time he looked in the mirror. Now when “the criminal” holds up a mirror, Ed remembers all the lives he’s touched and feels truly alive in a way he never did before becoming the messenger. This interaction develops each of the novel’s three major themes. Ed’s time as a messenger allows him to achieve his full potential, and he forges deep connections with strangers and long-term friends alike. In addition, the robber is revealed to be part of the plan, meaning that he endured time in prison so that Ed could achieve personal growth and help others. The robber’s observation that “it was worth it, then” shows that he found meaning in his suffering.

“‘I did it because you are the epitome of ordinariness, Ed.’ He looks at me seriously. ‘And if a guy like you can stand up and do what you did for all those people, well, maybe everyone can. Maybe everyone can live beyond what they’re capable of.’ He becomes intense now. Emotional. This is everything. ‘Maybe even I can….’”

The novel’s twist ending reveals that the person who sent Ed the cards is the author himself. Shattering the fourth wall, the writer enters the narrative, explains why he selected his protagonist, and lays out the novel’s themes. Zusak describes Ed as “the epitome of ordinariness,” which makes him ideal for illustrating the Potential for Personal Growth.