18 pages • 36 minutes read
Sharon OldsI Go Back to May 1937
Fiction | Poem | Adult | Published in 2004A modern alternative to SparkNotes and CliffsNotes, SuperSummary offers high-quality Study Guides with detailed chapter summaries and analysis of major themes, characters, and more.
Themes
Co-dependency
“I Go Back to May 1937” is a poem which discusses co-dependency, which is an emotional and behavioral condition in which people form or maintain emotionally or physically destructive relationships. The dysfunctional parents in the poem are, according to the speaker, initially “untouched” (Lines 22, 24) and “innocent” (Line 12). Despite being ill-suited for each other, they marry, even though they are just “kids” (Line 11) and “dumb” (Line 11). However, the speaker hints at the deeper psychological problems of each parent which leads to their co-dependent relationship. The speaker calls the father “arrogant” (Line 23), which suggests that he is dependent on others to foster his image of self-importance. The mother is “hungry” (Line 21) which shows she needs someone to satiate her needs, whether they be physical, economic, or psychological. Their dependency on each other to fulfill these needs explains their attraction and marriage, perhaps also alluding to why the marriage could not succeed. Further, this dysfunctional behavior causes the parents to do “bad things to children” (Line 17). As their child, the speaker is dependent on the parents for their very existence. Literally, in order “to live,” (Line 25), the speaker must rely on a union that is inherently destructive. Figuratively, “to live” (Line 25), the speaker must make sense of the dysfunction and the conflict compared to the “sparks” (Line 29) that fly when the speaker’s parents unite. The speaker’s ability “to tell about it” (Line 30) divorces the speaker from the cycle of co-dependency, allowing them to frame the experience differently.
The Healing Power of Art
Abusive relationships can cause trauma and stress, and the speaker of this poem notes midway through the poem that the parents “did bad things to children” (Line 17). While the speaker does not mention their own experience directly, the speaker implies that they were one of the children hurt, thus creating a motivation for their desire to interfere with the parental union. However, the speaker knows that while they wish they could have prevented the “bad things” (Line 17) for both themselves and their parents, without this trauma, they wouldn’t be who they are, nor would they be able to write what they write. Therefore, the speaker engages in a healing act of memory and acceptance, urging the parents to “do what you are going to do” (Line 30), and the speaker “will tell about it” (Line 30).
The portraits of the parents—which appear in equal measures of understanding and condemnation—are the speaker’s creation. The speaker symbolically controls her own existence, and by banging the “paper dolls” (Line 27) “together /at the hips” (Line 27-28), the speaker controls their parents’ relationship. The “sparks” (Line 29) struck from this union may represent both the conflict and pain as well as the active and healing creation of the speaker’s art from their history. Here, the speaker actively reformulates the experience, bringing control to it, which can be a part of the recovery experience.
Unhappy Marriages
The couple in “I Go Back to May 1937” appears through the lens of their child’s perceptions. The speaker of the poem explains to the reader that the couple will do “things/you cannot imagine you would ever do” (Lines 15-16). From the information the speaker provides, the reader can see that the couple are not well-suited to each other. In 1937, many people got married when they were “kids” (Line 11) and too “dumb” (Line 11) to realize the intensity and responsibility of such a union. The father’s confidence “strolling out” (Line 2) of the arch of his college is in sharp contrast to the mother’s subdued position by the “pillar made of tiny bricks” (Line 7), foreshadowing the conflicts later to take place in their relationship. This mismatch lines up with the later descriptions of his “arrogant” (Line 23) face versus the mother’s “hungry” (Line 21) one. The tiles that loom over his head like “plates of blood” (Line 5) suggest violence while the “still open” (Line 8) gate behind the mother suggests she has a desire to flee. These depictions paint a picture of an aggressive young man marrying a young woman who has trouble facing difficulties that enhance the fact that they are “the wrong woman” (Line 14) and “the wrong man” (Line 15) for each other.
Although primarily an indictment against abuse, the poem also serves as a warning that cautions readers about the risk of naiveté regarding marriage. The setting of May 1937, delineated in the title, may indicate that the social norms of the time meant that the speaker’s mother may have had few options other than marriage, since it was conventional for young women to marry young in 1937. Further, divorce was not always considered culturally acceptable, and the mother may have well felt trapped in her marriage to an “arrogant” (Line 23) man.
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