In the Wild Light

Cash’s best friend is Delaney Dell, a specialist in arcane bits of trivia whose fascination with the world makes her something of a prodigy in science. She works at the Dairy Queen while Cash cuts lawns. Cash is drawn to Delaney the way “people just want to stand near a comforting fire” (21). He cannot imagine a day without Delaney but hesitates to call their relationship anything other than friendship.

Both friends’ mothers frequently experience with drug addiction, and Cash recalls meeting Delaney almost three years earlier when they both attended meetings organized by Narateen, a support group designed for adolescents whose families have experiences with drug addiction. Cash’s mother has since died from an overdose on a mix of heroin, fentanyl, and Valium.

When exploring caves along the Pigeon River with Cash, Delaney chances upon a mold growing on a cave wall. Intrigued by it, Delaney brings a sample back and tests it in the school’s primitive science lab, discovering its remarkable curative powers that can kill “even the nastiest bacteria” (7). With the help of local university professors, Delaney confirms the mold’s potential, and the mold is named in her honor: Penicillium delanum. The chapter also details how Delaney handles the instant celebrity status that her discovery bestows upon her.

The discovery of the mold’s potential makes Delaney famous in science circles. Alerted to her find, pharmaceutical companies swarm Sawyer in an attempt to locate the cave and the mold. As a reward for her efforts, Delaney is offered a full-ride scholarship to Middleford Academy, a prestigious prep school in New Canaan, Connecticut. Delaney’s decision to accept the scholarship is contingent on the school offering Cash an identical opportunity, and the school obliges. Despite the good news, Cash hesitates, unsure whether he wants to leave his home and his grandparents.

When Cash and Delaney return from an interview at a local radio station, they stop for gas and run into Jason Cloud, the local drug dealer. Jason plans to branch out into harder and more expensive street drugs, and he wants Delaney to work with him to produce methamphetamines, colloquially known as “cooking meth.” Delaney sees the scholarship as a way to escape the detrimental environment of Sawyer. As she states, “[F]or every way the world tries to kill us, it gives us a way to survive” (24).

Ever since Cash’s father abandoned his family to work on an oil rig in Louisiana and his mother overdosed, Cash has lived with his grandparents. Cash holds a deep love for his grandfather, Papaw, who has fewer and fewer friends ever since he took an unpopular stand against racism in the town. Papaw’s live-and-let-live philosophy and his nonjudgmental acceptance of others even put him at odds with his own church when he defended LGBTQ+ culture. Despite his emphysema, he never misses a chance to chat with Cash. (Cash’s grandmother, who manages a local pizza delivery business, is also very supportive of her grandson.)

With some trepidation, Cash tells Papaw about the opportunity to go to Connecticut, and Papaw encourages Cash to go. It is a great opportunity, and he knows, even if Cash doesn’t, that Cash loves Delaney. His grandmother agrees that Cash owes it to himself to go with Delaney.

Cash recalls finding his mother dead in the bathroom of their cramped and squalid trailer, trying to help her but overwhelmed by “the organic weight of a lifeless human body” (39). Now he cannot imagine leaving his grandparents behind, saying, “My life is small and simple, but it’s a better one than I ever thought I’d have” (43). He knows that he owes the good things in his life to his grandparents.

Five days later, Delaney asks Cash about the scholarship. She wants him to come with her and tells him that the two of them are “a team” (54). Cash worries about his grandfather’s health and feels as if he is riding Delaney’s coattails.

Cash’s grandparents are proud that he has such an excellent scholarship opportunity. That pride, however, is muted when his grandmother returns home from work with a splotch on her cheek, right below her eye. She tells Cash that Jason Cloud had been unhappy with an order and had humiliated her by smearing a slice of hot pizza in her face. Cash can barely contain his anger, a “rolling tumult of hatred and rage” (65). He fantasizes about driving an axe into Jason’s head, but his grandfather reminds him that payback never wins and that confronting Jason with violence would only ruin his life by landing him in prison.

Cash’s Aunt Betsy visits and assures Cash that staying in Sawyer because he is afraid to leave is a dead-end street. She tells him he’ll “never regret a decision more than the one [made] out of fear” (72) and emphasizes that opportunity always comes with uncertainty.

The next day, Cash tells Delaney that he will take the scholarship opportunity and go with her to New Canaan. For a moment, Cash considers how this adventure will change their friendship. He admits that they tried once to kiss while “intoxicated on moonlight” (78), but that it did not work out for either of them. Now, Delaney confidently shares her plans: to graduate from Middleford, study at MIT, and become a research epidemiologist for the CDC. Despite her brave talk, Delaney chews nervously on her thumbnails, revealing her own uncertainty over leaving her mother.

The summer passes quickly. Papaw’s health worsens, and he quietly asks Cash to scatter his ashes along the Pigeon River when he dies: the same ritual that the family had done for Cash’s mother.

The night before the two friends board the bus for Connecticut, Cash says goodbye to the Pigeon River and takes a little jar of river water with him, realizing that the act of leaving brings all the best things about a place into sharp focus.

The bus ride north is long and encompasses more than a full day of driving. Cash passes the time staring out the window in a “fog of fear and melancholy” (91) mingled with creeping regrets.