Just Listen

Throughout the book, there are countless examples of Annabel and other characters not speaking up, including Whitney and Clarke. For instance, Whitney keeps her anorexia and bulimia a secret for months, though Kirsten is observant enough to notice that Whitney is losing weight, not eating, and working out too much. By remaining silent about her inner pain, Whitney’s physical health deteriorates until she must go to the hospital and then a treatment center. If Whitney had shared her low self-esteem and sense of self-worth, she could have worked through her emotions more healthily and addressed her eating disorder before her health was in jeopardy. In this case, silence is actively dangerous, nearly leading to Whitney’s death.

Kirsten’s story arc involves more listening and speaking up. She tells her family about Whitney’s eating disorder. Because Kirsten knows that Whitney’s health is in danger, she has no problem sharing that Whitney has an eating disorder. Unafraid of conflict, Kirsten uses her voice to save Whitney. Still, speaking out is a balance, and as a teen, Kirsten was talkative to a fault, not leaving much room for others to speak. In college and the aftermath of her sister’s hospitalization, Kirsten changes into a more quiet and reflective character who is committed to listening. Because she learns to really listen to others, Kirsten doesn’t need to talk as much. She repairs her relationship with Whitney because she listens to her sister and empathizes with her, rather than talking over her as in the past.

Likewise, Owen listens to others and values their opinions. Since he’s passionate about music, Owen has lots of practice with listening. He doesn’t insert his thoughts, ideas, or feelings into conversations when others are speaking, which is difficult for Annabel at first:

This is the problem with dealing with someone who is actually a good listener. They don’t jump in on your sentences, saving you from actually finishing them. Or talk over you, allowing what you do manage to get out to be lost or altered in transit. Instead, they wait. So you have to keep going (297-98)

Owen is also unafraid to share his emotions, as he can’t allow himself to let his anger build up and turn into physical violence or screaming. Instead, Owen copes with his anger by listening to music and calmly venting his feelings. Unlike Annabel, Owen doesn’t keep his feelings inside but purges them and learns to cope through the power of music. He also unknowingly creates the climactic change in Annabel by burning her the “Just Listen” CD. He accidentally makes it a blank CD, but by listening to nothing, Annabel learns to listen to herself and finds the courage to use her voice and share her darkest secret.

As the opposite of Kirsten and Owen in terms of boldness, Annabel suppresses her truths. She listens well to others, but she has trouble sharing her inner life with even those closest to her. For example, she doesn’t feel comfortable telling her mother she doesn’t want to be a model any longer. Grace loves and accepts her, but Annabel thinks of her mother’s depression when her grandma died and worries about causing another depressive episode. Annabel’s empathy takes control, and she thinks of her mother’s well-being over her own. Despite her good intentions, this creates incredible stress for Annabel. Her fears prove to be unfounded; Grace finds a new role at the modeling agency after Annabel quits and supports her daughter’s decision. This emphasizes that our worst fears can be unfounded, and honesty usually won’t turn out as badly as we fear it will.

Similarly, Annabel takes her silence to an extreme when she doesn’t tell anyone about her traumatic rape. By not speaking up, Annabel harms her mental and emotional health, stuck in a pattern of reliving the past and experiencing it physically through nausea. Additionally, she acknowledges that she could have tried to stop Will from committing this crime again: “I had a flash of the last few months […] Maybe I couldn’t have changed any of that. But now, too late, I was realizing I might have been able to change something. Or one thing” (247). Because she tried once with Sophie, who did not listen to her, Annabel thinks others may not believe her, causing fear, worry, and shame. Annabel finally steps into her truth by confiding in her loved ones and testifying in court. As a result, she gets a happy ending: her trauma symptoms ease, she gets the guy, Will goes to jail, and she has strong, compassionate relationships with her family and friends.