Locomotion

Part of growing up is examining identity and where one belongs, and this is especially difficult for Lonnie, who navigates this while grieving for his lost parents. As a result, his journey exemplifies the search for identity and belonging.

Lonnie’s struggle is evident in his self-loathing and his awareness of societal expectations. Alone in a group home, Lonnie detests the boys who call themselves “throwaway boys” but eventually admits to himself, “[Y]ou are a Throwaway Boy” (16). This statement demonstrates self-loathing: He feels worthless, like something tossed in the trash. The italics emphasize how strongly he believes this. Furthermore, he doesn’t feel good enough for Lili. In addition to being looked down on by her adoptive mother, Lonnie feels like a fraud. Lili tells him that when he finds God they’ll be together, and he thinks, “Maybe a real big brother would tell her it’d take a lot / more than that” (47). Lonnie doesn’t tell her this, suggesting that he isn’t “real” or worthy of being a big brother. In addition to doubts about his self-worth, Lonnie grapples with how society perceives him as a threat. When he searches a drugstore for the familiar scent of his mother, he expects to be misconstrued as a thief and leaves quickly. Additionally, he confronts the assumption that he isn’t a “desirable” child. Lonnie muses, “Not a lot of people want boys / Not foster boys / that ain’t babies” (46). Many believe that boys are trouble. Therefore, Lonnie is placed in a group home before Miss Edna takes him in. Finally, he battles the expectations of his own friends. For example, when Lonnie writes during recess, Eric approaches him. When Lonnie puts away his notebook and claims to be doing nothing, Eric says, “’Don’t look like Nothing to me’ […] / His voice is hard. His eyes get real mean. / He calls me a punk and some other words” (43). Eric’s tough demeanor suggests more than just his displeasure that Lonnie lies; it also implies the expectation that Lonnie, and boys in general, shouldn’t write. Furthermore, the fact that Lonnie tries to conceal his actions proves that he isn’t yet comfortable in his own skin.

However, a component of Lonnie’s growth is that he eventually embraces his identity and finds his place. Once embarrassed to be seen writing, later, Lonnie welcomes his passion for poetry. When Ms. Marcus compliments him, he says,

I have a poet’s heart.

That’s good.

A good thing to have.

And I’m the one who has it (87).

By writing that having the heart of a poet is a good thing, Lonnie accepts himself. In addition, he shows pride when he notes that he’s “the one” with the poet’s heart. In addition to self-acceptance, he finds belonging with Miss Edna and Rodney. On Easter, Lonnie describes the scene: “The kitchen is warm. / Miss Edna can’t stop grinning” (83). The warmth represents Lonnie’s comfort in this moment, and Miss Edna’s smile is a manifestation of the love in the room. Then, Lonnie notes what Rodney says: “Little Brother, he called me. / Little Brother Lonnie” (83). The simple act of calling Lonnie “little brother” has a huge impact on the boy, as evident in his repeating it. Without his birth family for four years, he finally finds a new one with Rodney and Miss Edna. Lonnie’s journey of acceptance and belonging represents an age-old internal struggle among young people.