Lost in the Sun

Trent laments that he overthinks everything. He goes to the park with his baseball glove, ball, and “Book of Thoughts” in his pockets. He wants to play baseball but isn’t sure if the kids playing at the park want him to join them. Trent hopes to join intramural baseball once school starts.

Trent sits on the grass near the baseball field and works on his Book of Thoughts. Rather than write down his thoughts, he prefers drawing them. Trent spots a girl who everyone recognizes, Fallon Little, walking her dog. Fallon has a large, prominent scar down one half of her face that ends at her mouth. No one knows how she got it, though she tells many different stories about its origin.

Trent draws until a baseball rolls to his side. A few of the boys from the field come to retrieve it. Trent knows all three of them. Jeremiah Jacobson is normally a jerk, but Noah Gorman was one of Trent’s friends before the accident. When Jeremiah demands the ball back, Trent feels anger—“fire”—rise inside him. Trent refuses to give them the ball, so Jeremiah steals his Book of Thoughts and flips through the drawings. Trent’s book is full of drawings of people dying—falling off tightropes, getting eaten by sharks, etc. Jeremiah thinks that something is wrong with Trent.

Fallon defends him. She says that the drawings in the book are of her because she asked Trent to draw pictures of how she got her scar. This isn’t true, but Trent goes along with it. He snatches the book back and returns the baseball. Fallon is nice to Trent and says that he owes her now, but he’s standoffish and goes home.

Trent reflects that the drawings in his book are of Jared, the kid he killed back in February.

Back in February, Trent joined a pickup hockey game at the lake. During the game, he hit the puck into Jared’s chest. Jared had a heart defect that no one knew about, and the hit killed him. Trent feels that he killed Jared, even though it was an accident. He draws pictures of Jared dying in other ways instead because then he’s not responsible.

Aaron drives Trent and Doug to meet their dad and stepmother, Kari, who is pregnant, at a restaurant between towns. They do this three times a week. Dinner starts with awkward small talk about their dad’s upcoming company picnic. Trent was unenthused about the picnic last year, but this year, his relationship with his dad is even rockier. Doug talks about spending time with his friends, one of whom is Annie Richards—Jared’s little sister. Trent doesn’t understand why Doug has gotten closer to Annie since Jared’s death. Doug also unscrews the saltshaker lids as a prank.

Trent wants to go home to catch the Dodgers game. When his dad shushes him, he feels the fire in his chest again, and he and his dad begin to argue. Both escalate until his dad loses his temper and tells Trent to shut up. Trent gets up and leaves, deciding to walk home. His dad chases him to the door but doesn’t pursue him further. As Trent walks, he wishes that he could stop overthinking. Aaron picks him up on the way home with a burger.

Trent works Saturdays at a kitchen store with his mom. He likes it; he makes a little money, and the job is easy. The boss, Ray, puts baseball games on the store radio.

Doug visits the store, and Annie waits outside, avoiding Trent. Doug shows Trent a bag of alarm clocks he acquired for a prank. He plans to set them up in Aaron’s room, timed to go off at different intervals throughout the night. Doug says that Annie is helping, and Trent is upset that Annie is involved. He feels the fire in his chest again.

Trent and his mom talk about school starting Monday. His mom hopes that he will make new friends. Trent used to hang out with the guys who played pickup sports at the park before Jared’s death. He’s also grown distant from Noah Gorman, though they were never close. After Jared’s death, Noah reached out multiple times, but Trent pushed him away. At the time, he was drawing disturbing things in his Book of Thoughts, and he didn’t want to see anyone. Trent’s mom suggests that he join intramural baseball.

Trent returns to his Book of Thoughts. He thinks it’s disturbing that he draws Jared dying or what Jared could be doing if he hadn’t died. However, getting his thoughts out on paper provides relief, and they’re not as bad as they used to be.

Fallon surprises Trent at the store; she’s come to collect on the favor he owes her and wants Trent to draw her a picture. She tells Trent a fake story about getting her scar in a frisbee accident. Trent suggests that a nuclear power plant accident is a better story, but he refuses to draw it for her because he’s protective of his Book of Thoughts. When Fallon leaves, Trent’s mom asks him about her scar. Trent replies that it isn’t their business, but he’s secretly just as curious.

Trent dislikes sixth grade on the first day and is irritable because Doug’s alarm clock prank kept him up the previous night. His homeroom teacher, Ms. Emerson, is old, and her room is filled with kitchen appliances and potted plants. When Trent bumps into a plant, Ms. Emerson warns him that the plants mean a lot to her. He acts out intentionally in her class so that he can get detention and avoid dinner with his dad again that night. He smashes a plant on the way out.

In PE, Trent feels more comfortable until he realizes that his teacher is Noah’s uncle. Mr. Gorman breaks the class into teams for basketball. When Trent gets his hands on the ball, he becomes clammy and struggles to breathe. Noah steals the ball from him. Angry, Trent takes it back and shoves him. When other students call foul, Trent gets angrier and hurls the ball, smashing a soccer ball rack. Mr. Gorman takes a stern tone with Trent, asserting that nothing outside the gym matters when they’re in PE. He asks why Trent broke the soccer ball rack, but Trent does not want to talk about it. Mr. Gorman offers Trent a fresh start tomorrow.

Trent has a terrible time in the remainder of his classes and eats lunch in the bathroom. He is released from detention at 4:15 pm, too early to miss dinner with his dad, so he meanders on the way home. When he arrives, Aaron and Doug have left without him. His mom knows about Trent’s detention and says that he can always talk to her.

The next morning, Mr. Gorman asks Trent if he’ll like the kid he meets today. Trent makes up an arm injury and sits on the bleachers, refusing to participate. He speculates that Mr. Gorman thinks he’s a “screw-up” and spends lunch in the bathroom again. On Wednesday, Trent sits out of gym again, but he finds an empty table at lunch. Fallon immediately joins him. Trent asks if she has any friends, and Fallon returns the question. She then tells Trent an unbelievable story about how her scar came from lightning. Trent notes a plot hole in her story, and she vows to work on it.

Trent suggests that they talk about baseball, and Fallon brings up Field of Dreams, a famous baseball movie. Trent hasn’t seen it, nor has he seen The Sandlot. Fallon invites him over to watch them, and Trent says maybe—he can’t figure out why Fallon wants to be his friend.

After school, Trent kills time by riding his bike and picks up tacos for dinner with his work money. He gets home after Aaron and Doug have already returned from dinner with their dad. Aaron warns that he won’t cover for him, but Trent notes that his dad didn’t miss him.

Someone named Clarisse calls Aaron, and Doug speculates that she’s his girlfriend. Doug proposes another prank involving a hamster, and Trent tells him that it’s a bad prank but refuses to help him think of a better one; he doesn’t want to give Doug ideas if he’s doing pranks with Annie.