Middle School, The Worst Years of My Life

Georgia and Bear both go to sleep by 9pm on Friday night. Rafe gets one of Bear’s poorly concealed Zoom colas, turns on a movie, and falls asleep on the couch. Jules wakes him when she comes home. She asks if he has had any conversations with Leo recently, and he says he has not. She tells him he can talk to her about anything anytime.

The next Wednesday, Miller forces Rafe’s face into the water fountain. Miller tells Rafe not to try to be the school’s bad boy because that is his job. Rafe refuses to step outside and fight him because he is on his way to his first day of detention.

On his way to detention, Leo catches up with Rafe and says that he lost one of his three lives in Operation R.A.F.E. because he refused to fight Miller.

Rafe feels disappointed to learn he is alone with Mrs. Donatello in detention. She wants to talk to him. He says:

In case you don’t already know, when an adult wants to ‘just talk’ it actually means the person wants you to talk, all about stuff you don’t want to talk about. In other words, the Dragon Lady had set her trap, and I had walked right into it (87).

Rafe fantasizes that Mrs. Donatello is a dragon he fights as a knight. She clearly wants some creative input from him, but he stonewalls her by pretending to do his homework. He fears she will continue pressing him.

An illustration on the first page of the chapter (90) shows the Operation R.A.F.E. scoresheet with 23 rules broken, 89 rules to go, 340,000 points earned, and two lives remaining. Leo says Rafe must have at least 1,000,000 points to win the game. They make a list of prizes Rafe gets for winning: base jumping from the Grand Canyon, whitewater rafting, rock climbing out of the canyon, and driving a Lexis SUV with a fake license. As Leo draws these prizes, he includes Jeanne. Leo says to include her, Rafe must earn another 200,000 points. They also want to make sure Bear gets lost in the wild, either adopted by real bears or perhaps eaten by them.

When Leo goes silent, Rafe realizes someone is outside his door. It is Jules who says she wants to talk to him. He tries to delay her, but she refuses: “‘No, not in a second,’ Mom said. ‘We need to talk—right now” (93).

With Bear listening, Jules asks why Rafe was in detention. She tells Rafe that she learned Mrs. Stricker left a message for her. Bear tells Georgia to go to her room. Jules tells Bear not to speak to Georgia that way. Bear grounds Rafe for a week and says he can no longer touch the answering machine. Jules asks Rafe to tell his side of the story, which he does honestly. She responds, “‘Rafe? I’m going to ask you something else now, and I want an honest answer,’ she said. ‘Does Leo have anything to do with this?’” (96).

Before Rafe answers, Bear intrudes. He and Rafe end up shouting at one another, and Jules sends Rafe to his room. Waiting inside is Leo, who says that there are ways of getting back at Bear. Rafe reminds him that he’s not even a real person.

Rafe apologizes to the reader for not explaining that Leo is imaginary. He feels embarrassed because few sixth-graders still have imaginary friends.

He also confides that Jeanne will not be his girlfriend by the end of the story. He says:

I’m not saying that because I don’t have confidence or something. I’m saying it because it’s my book and I know how it all turns out. So if you’re the type who likes the romantic stuff, and you’re waiting around for her to start liking me ‘like that,’ I’m just saying—don’t hold your breath (99).

Rafe wants to let the reader know that things get worse from this point on.

Beginning the next day, Rafe sells Bear’s Zoom soda out of his locker. He takes the empty cans home and puts them back into their cases to see if Bear will ever notice.

It surprises Rafe when Jeanne turns up at his locker. Jeanne asks why Rafe continually tries to get into trouble. He explains Operation R.A.F.E. to her, emphasizing the No Hurt Rule. Jeanne smiles, appreciating the No Hurt Rule, just as the bell rings for fifth hour. As she leaves, Rafe thinks about breaking Section 4, Rule 7: no kissing or other public displays of affection.

Rafe plans a big practical joke for Halloween. He has made a ninja costume, including a black mask. He carries Cheerios to pretend they are throwing stars and nunchucks made of paper towel rolls.

He goes into the bathroom, puts on his costume, and runs out, acting like a ninja. He beans Miller on the side of his head with one of his cardboard nunchucks before running into Mrs. Stricker. She tells him to take off his costume. Rafe goes into the restroom, takes off his costume, and runs down the hall, wearing nothing but his underwear and tennis shoes.

While Rafe knows he will get in trouble, he assumes that Mrs. Stricker will discipline him. Instead, he ends up in the principal’s office, which he compares to a dungeon. Rafe draws pictures of himself and others chained to the wall. Inside there is a dragon and bones littering the dark inside of the dungeon.

This fantasy chapter compares Mr. Dwight, the principal, to a lizard king. Rafe describes how awful it smells in his office. He comments that Rafe has been making a name for himself and asks if Rafe has anything to say before he pronounces sentence. Rafe responds, “I think you’re confusing me with my twin brother” (114).

In his fantasy, the lizard king picks him up by his head and slams him into the wall. Pronouncing him guilty as charged, the lizard king runs up the hall and across the ceiling, hanging upside down, ready to pronounce the sentence.

Back in reality, Rafe sits in Mr. Dwight’s office, where the principal confronts him about his behavior and tells him that he’s going to receive something worse than detention.

When he leaves the principal’s office, he bumps into Jeanne, who asks why he pulled this prank. Rafe tells her that his actions are no more stupid than some of the rules restricting students’ behavior. He quotes her speech from the first day of school two months ago. Suddenly, Jeanne realizes Rafe likes her, causing Rafe tremendous embarrassment. He writes, “Admitting something like that […] was even more embarrassing than the fact that she’d seen me running around in my underwear” (118).

On his mother’s birthday, Rafe and Georgia go to Swifty’s, the restaurant where his mother works. Georgia made Jules a drawing, and Rafe used his Zoom money to get her card and some perfume she likes.

Rafe enjoys seeing his mother’s paintings for sale on the walls at Swifty’s. His mother has not had much time to paint since she began working double shifts to pay for everything in the household.

As they tell Jules what they want for supper, Georgia blurts out that Rafe ran naked in school. He says, “It came out of her just like that. With Georgia, secrets are kind of like time bombs and you never know when one’s going off” (121). As Rafe watches his mother, he sees a single tear run down her cheek. She gets up and walks to the backroom of the diner with Rafe following her.

In the back, Jules asks Rafe to be good for a change. He insists that he is okay. She tells him, “Sweetie, you’ve been getting into so much trouble at school lately. I just don’t understand” (125). His mother begins to cry again, making Rafe feel terrible about what he has done.

Because of his mother’s request that he behave himself properly, Rafe turns off Operation R.A.F.E., at least temporarily, and decides he is going to be a good kid. Leo tells him he will regret it, but Rafe says he doesn’t want to make his mother cry anymore.