Million Dollar Throw

“Nate had been having more and more trouble figuring out his world lately, especially with everything that had been happening to his family. School was school—he tried hard, but there were times when he just felt lost, in search of answers that wouldn’t come. And no matter how hard he tried, how hard he could try, he was never going to make sense out of what was happening to his friend Abby.” 

This introduces the main dilemma of the novel: Nate’s inability to understand the bad things that are happening to the people he loves. Throughout the novel, this idea grows to become the central tension and source of stress in Nate’s life. That is, most of the novel is about Nate grappling with how to accept the unfortunate occurrences that are happening to his loved ones as well as the good things that are happening to him. Once he reconciles these differences within himself, he becomes empowered to change the negative circumstances around him for the good.

“And his parents had stayed with the promise even though things were different now in their house than they had been when he’d finished sixth grade. Everything was different now that his dad was working two jobs after losing the only one Nate had ever known him to have, at the big commercial real estate company he used to work for. His mom had gone back to work, too.” 

Nate’s parents pay for half of the signed Tom Brady football, just like they promised they would. This is significant because his parents make considerably less money now that his dad lost his job, and the Brady football is expensive. However, this moment demonstrates how Nate’s parents are trying to make things as normal as possible for him despite the change in their financial circumstances.

“For all the other things that had happened since Nate won the lottery—the big feature about Nate in the Valley Dispatch, the one in the Boston Globe, another on the NVC station out of Springfield, Massachusetts—the SportsCenter they’d just watched was the best of it. By far. It didn’t matter what age you were or what sport you played, being on SportsCenter was like having every sports fan in America going to your Facebook page.”

This demonstrates the first glimpse of attention that Nate starts getting after winning the chance at the million-dollar throw. While this attention is initially exciting for Nate, after a while he begins to shy away from it because he feels like he should have earned the attention rather than gaining it by the luck of the draw.

“Abby McCall was good at just about everything. She was the smartest kid and the prettiest girl in the eighth grade in Valley—not that Nate would ever say the pretty part out loud, to her or to anyone else. But she was the best at drawing—it didn’t matter whether she was working with a pencil in the sketchbook she always seemed to have with her, or working with colors, color combinations that only seemed to be able to see, on one of the canvases back in her room.” 

This is how Nate describes Abby. It’s clear from this description that he thinks the world of her, a sentiment that only grows deeper throughout the course of the novel. Although they maintain a platonic friendship, the teens mutually love and respect one another. From their friendship, they are able to support each other emotionally during their respective trials.

“He smiled at her. But then, smiling at Abby McCall, at the things she said and the things she drew and the way she was, felt as natural to Nate as throwing a football. They had always gone to school together, always lived a block away from each other. Nate couldn’t remember a time when they hadn’t been best friends. Not Nate’s ‘girl’ friend. Just best friend.” 

This is another description that shows the dynamic between Nate and Abby, emphasizing the solid foundation of their friendship. Although both teens are coming-of-age, their relationship has not blossomed into romance. Although it's possible they may see this shift as they mature, it's more significant within the context of the story that they are platonic friends, devoted to encouraging and helping each other. For Nate, his friendship with Abby, like his connection to football, brings him comfort and stability.

“Nate had looked up retinitis pigmentosa on the Internet after Abby had finally told him the truth about what was wrong with her eyes. He’d found a ‘Fighting Blindness’ website. And right there on the first page were two pictures. On the left were two little boys, both holding soccer balls, smiling into the camera. Underneath that one it read, ‘Normal vision.’ On the right was the other picture, most of the frame black, and all you could see was half of each boy’s face, nothing else. That and the black. Underneath that one it read, ‘As seen by a person with retinitis pigmentosa.’” 

This describes the degenerative eye disease that is afflicting Abby. While Nate doesn’t fully understand the details of the disease, he knows that it’s turning her world black, which he thinks is incredibly sad considering she is so talented with painting in color. 

“On the rare nights when his dad was home for dinner, they’d head over to Coppo Park as soon as they finished clearing the table and throw a ball around. Chris Brodie had been a quarterback in high school and still had a decent arm, and when he’d get warmed up, when he’d start to feel loose, Nate would know what it felt like to be Pete or one of his other receivers on the Valley team. What it was like to be on the receiving end, the pain end, of what Pete liked to call one of Nate’s darts.” 

This describes one of Nate’s most cherished times with his dad. While football has always been a source of bonding between Nate and his dad, ever since his dad lost his job he hasn’t been around as much for them to play anymore. It’s clear that Nate’s dad is the reason that he loves football as much as he does. 

“Nate wanted to be that kind of quarterback. Nate wanted to put in the work. He knew they had more plays—there were seventy-five in all—than any other eighth-grade team around. He knew they had a whole separate offense run from the shotgun formation when no other team in their league did. Nate learned that the way he learned everything else in Coach’s offense—studying as if for a final exam.” 

This demonstrate how seriously Nate takes football, and why he adores Tom Brady so much—because Brady takes his position seriously. Nate loves to practice, and what he lacks in his ability to do school work, he makes up for in his determination on the field. 

“When he came back down, he was wearing the red ‘Big Bill’ shirt that he had to wear to the store, one that Nate knew his dad had come to hate, knew because he had once heard him tell Nate’s mom he hated it, that it was like a uniform announcing to everybody what was happening to him. Like Abby’s orange sunglasses.” 

Right before this moment, Nate’s dad has been informed that he must work, despite having requested the day off to see Nate’s football game. This moment shows how defeated Nate’s dad is feeling after losing his job and taking a role that he feels is beneath him, but it also draws an important parallel between Nate’s dad and Abby. Both characters have had something bad happen to them, and they both feel ashamed by the physical markers of their unwelcome circumstance. 

“Pressure is doing a job you hate, that even makes you hate sports sometimes, so you can hold on to what’s supposed to be your real job, except you can’t make a living at that job anymore.” 

Right before this moment, Nate had been having a bad day, so he went to Coppo Park to be alone and throw the football—something that had always made him feel better. His dad meets him at the park, and at first Nate is happy he’s there because this has always been a place of bonding for him and his dad. However, tonight Nate confides in his dad that he’s feeling pressure over the impending million-dollar throw, and this makes his dad angry. Here, his dad explains what pressure is to him, but it’s clear that he’s not angry at Nate, he’s mad at his situation and he’s taking it out on Nate. This moment marks a turning point between Nate and his dad, a division that grows wider before it gets better. 

“‘The thing that sketches me out about the whole thing,’ Nate said, ‘is that usually you have to actually do something to get this kind of attention. I’m just a guy who got his name picked out of a hat, basically. It’s not like I did anything to deserve this.’” 

Before this moment, Nate and Abby are on the way to his football game, where various media reporters will be watching him play. He’s always been used to being recognized for his quarterbacking abilities, but he doesn’t know how to handle all the new attention he’s receiving for doing nothing. In this way, he feels like a fraud, and this feeling is exaggerated by the fact that he isn’t playing well lately. 

“His dad explained how important these ‘showings’ were, making a sports analogy out of it for Nate, saying you never knew if today was the day that might change everything. Nate didn’t care. He hated the showings, hated the idea of having to move, always made sure he found reasons to be out of the house when more strangers came walking through the front door. Moving through his world. Looking at his stuff.” 

Important to note in this moment is how Nate’s dad uses sports as a metaphor to explain a situation Nate might not otherwise understand. Nate seeing football as a metaphor for life is a constant theme throughout the novel. In this moment, Nate reveals why he hates when potential buyers come to look at their home. For him, it feels like a personal violation because people are seeing into a world that he feels should be private. Of course, he’s also upset at the idea that these strangers will profit from his family’s loss, and that he might lose the only home he’s ever known. 

“She wasn’t just the first famous blind person, she was deaf, too. She had this great teacher named Annie Sullivan, way before she went to Perkins. Helen Keller, I mean. Annie Sullivan was actually the one they called the miracle worker, for getting through to Helen Keller and finding out how brilliant she was even if nobody knew if back then. And […] to make a long, interesting story short, Helen Keller ended up at Perkins and later on became a writer and speechmaker and political leader and had pretty much become one of the most admired women on the entire planet by the time she died.” 

Abby explains that Helen Keller went to Perkins, and that maybe the school won’t be so bad after all. This moment also demonstrates how Abby clings to optimism despite her bad circumstance. Rather than focusing on the negative aspects of going blind, she looks to Helen Keller, a woman who persevered through her blindness to do amazing things. 

“It was too good of a day to feel bad about anything, Nate thought, trying to give himself the kind of pep talk he knew Abby would have given him. It’s football, he told himself as he ran out on the field to start warming up. It’s not life or death or losing a job the way his dad had lost his, the way he knew dads all over the country were losing theirs. It wasn’t being worried about losing your house or worrying about moving to a new house if you ever managed to sell your old one. It sure wasn’t losing your eyesight the was Abby was, or having to go off to a school for the blind where she wasn’t going to know anybody, a school that Nate didn’t think was going to make her feel less different.” 

Nate tries to put things in perspective. He’s been so worried about his inability to throw accurately lately and the impending million-dollar throw that he’s failed to just enjoy the game and experience of it. In this moment, he’s attempting to regain the joy he once felt in football by realizing that it’s just a game, unlike what his loved ones are facing. 

“Man, man, man. It wasn’t just football that came out at you fast, it was life that did that. He thought for a second about going down to watch the game, but this was a night he didn’t want to see the real Brady do something great. He’d already seen one quarterback do that today.” 

This moment comes after the game where Nate had been benched. Here, he’s feeling overwhelmed by the unfortunate circumstances that seem to be piling up around him. Not only is he feeling bad about things with his family and Abby, but now he’s unable to play the game that used to be his main source of stress relief. 

“Eric wasn’t the starter, he was just playing like one. Throwing like one. Acting like one. Coming up to the line of scrimmage and moving Pete a little farther from the down linemen before he started calling signals.” 

Nate notices that Eric has a confidence that he didn’t have before. Although he’s the same Eric that Nate has always known, Eric is embracing his new role as the team’s quarterback. That is, he’s acting like the quarterback, and that action is changing everything for him. Nate has an aha moment, realizing the power of self-confidence, which he himself is lacking in this moment.

“Yet Nate couldn’t pull the trigger. He was afraid he might get picked off again. It was the worst kind of fear that was in sports, the kind where you didn’t give yourself a chance to do something right—even something great—because you were terrified you might do something wrong. So Nate didn’t do anything. This time he ate the ball, for all the wrong reasons, got himself righteously sacked. Then got sacked again on third down when there was nobody open and nowhere for him to run.” 

Right before this moment, Nate is in the middle of a game, and he feels unable to throw the ball for fear of messing up. While Nate has explored this idea previously, here he more fully realizes the notion that his thoughts are negatively affecting his ability to throw. That is, he realizes that his stress, worries, and fears are physically manifesting as a lack of physical control over his situation.

“No, it’s not just my team. It’s yours. And Malcolm’s. And Bradley’s. And Pete’s. It’s all of ours. Coach is always telling us how sports is a merit system. The best guys play. The best team wins, at least most of the time. Even if this wasn’t a competition, you won the job fair and square, dude. So don’t worry about me. Worry about Westboro, and just keep throwing the way you have been.” 

Before this moment, Coach Rivers tells Eric that he deserves to play quarterback in the next big game, but Eric interjects, saying that he doesn’t expect it. In the above quoted moment, Nate chimes in to say that he doesn’t care whether he starts or not, he just wants the team to win; he knows that Eric is throwing well and he’s not, so he wants Eric to start instead of him. This demonstrates Nate's just outlook as well as his integrity as a teammate.

“Then Abby missed school again on Thursday. It was becoming routine now, routine for the two of them not to see each other or even speak to each other. When Nate arrived home Thursday from school, the package he’d forgotten he’d even ordered was waiting for him. And this time, he ignored what his head had been telling him and he led with his heart again.” 

In this moment, Nate and Abby are feeling distant from each other because they are seeing each other less and less, with Abby missing school and Nate feeling upset about everything. However, when Abby’s package that he ordered for her shows up, he decides to put his feelings aside and mend their relationship.

“And the only way to get himself right again, he’d decided, was to stop complaining about the pressure of it all, even to himself. He wasn’t going to talk about pressure or whine about it. Or run from it. He was going to accept it, same as he had being a wide receiver for the rest of the season if that’s the way things were going to roll out. He was going to remember the way he used to throw and the player he used to be, the guy who wanted the ball in his hands when it was all on the line.” 

This is the moment that Nate changes his mind about his situation. Before this moment, Nate had been feeling overwhelmed by the pressure of the impending million-dollar throw, Abby’s situation, and his family’s finances, but here he decides that he’s going to let go of the pressure and embrace everything that’s going on his life. This is his way of regaining control over the things that he had been feeling powerless over.

“How did we ever get here? It seemed like just the other day that she was standing next to him at the SportStuff counter, practically ordering him to sign up for the contest. Now she was going into the hospital and might be going off to Perkins for good after that and there was a ‘For Sale’ sign in front of her house same as there was Nate’s. And there was so much he wanted to say to her, so much he felt like he needed to say. But he didn’t, not wanting to make things worse—at least for now, he kept telling himself—than they already were.” 

In this moment, Abby is about to go off to an eye hospital for testing, and Nate is feeling nostalgic about their friendship and fearful about what’s to come. Abby's vision has rapidly deteriorated, more quickly than the doctors had projected, and Nate must reconcile this new reality. At the same time, Abby's family is experiencing financial hardships, similar to Nate's family, and Nate's concerns for Abby's wellbeing continue to mount.

“‘But, see, that’s the beauty of sports,’ Tom Brady said. ‘I still get scared. But I never stop believing. The way I never stopped believing I would come back and play this way again after my knee surgeries.’” 

Nate is standing on the field during the halftime of the Patriots game on Thanksgiving night, about to make the million-dollar throw. Tom Brady and Nate have just finished warming up, but Nate admits that he’s scared to take the shot. Brady admits that he’s still scared every time he goes on the field, but his belief is what drives him forward. Brady’s words end up giving Nate the faith he needs to throw the ball through the hole and win the million dollars.

“Nate saw Abby then, hanging back, still standing where she’d been before Nate made the throw. She was crying again, he could see, but Nate knew these were happy tears this time. He could see it in those eyes. He walked straight for her, not knowing if the TV cameras were still tracking him or not, not caring. Then he hugged Abby McCall in front of the whole stadium and maybe the whole country. She hugged him back, for all she was worth.” 

Before this moment, Nate had just made the million-dollar throw. Despite all the cheer and attention, his first thought after making the throw is Abby. This moment highlights how amid his many stresses, Abby maintains the position as his primary concern. Because she is there during his triumphant moment, Nate knows that all of the unfortunate circumstances surrounding them will be resolved.