Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as If Your Life Depended on It

As developed by Mike Ackerman, the Ackerman model of negotiation is a prepared system for bargaining divided into steps. First, set a target price, then make a first offer at 65% of that price. While empathizing with your counterpart and saying “no” in several ways, raise your offer in three steps, to 85%, 95%, and finally 100%. Use a nonrounded number for your final offer and include a nonmonetary item. Voss endorses the Ackerman system as part of a rigorous negotiation.

One of three negotiation styles. Accommodators prioritize building relationships and are prone to avoiding conflict.

An accusation audit is a list of all the complaints and negative things your counterpart could say about you. Voss suggests anticipating, articulating, and labeling these issues prior to a negotiation to lessen their influence over the process.

One of three negotiation styles. Analysts work methodically toward data-supported solutions but sometimes struggle to emotionally connect with their counterparts.

An anchor is information that, when conveyed to a counterpart, provides a frame of reference for a negotiation. An anchor often takes the form of an offer. Used correctly, an extremely high or low anchor can shift a counterpart’s perception of what constitutes a reasonable outcome.

One of three negotiation styles. Assertive negotiators want to be heard and are eager to win. If they are not careful, they can come across as harsh.

The Behavior Change Stairway Model of negotiation, used by the FBI and endorsed by Voss, seeks to influence a counterpart in five stages: “active listening, empathy, rapport, influence, and behavioral change” (97).

As Voss uses the term, a black swan is a piece of information that could radically alter a negotiation, but which remains unknown and unimagined to either party. Searching for these “leverage multipliers” is a central tenet of Voss’s negotiation process, and his consulting company the Black Swan Group is named after them.

A calibrated question is an open-ended question designed to lead a counterpart toward an insight or outcome. They often start with “what” or “how” and can be used to make nonconfrontational refusals as well as subtle requests. Voss recommends using such questions “early and often” (154).

A counterpart is the person or party on the other side of a negotiation.

Labeling is the vocalization of a counterpart’s probable feelings. Stating negative feelings out loud can drain them of their power while building empathy.

For most negotiations Voss defaults to a light, upbeat voice. At times when he needs to calm down a tense counterpart, Voss switches to his “late-night FM DJ voice,” which is deeper and slower, including descending tones at the ends of phrases.

Leverage is the ability (real or perceived) to give or hold back something of value to the other party in a negotiation. It comes in three varieties: positive, which is the power to provide a desired good or outcome; negative, which comes as a threat to something the counterpart values; and normative, which stems from social and moral standards.

Studies show that people are usually more fearful of losing something than they are excited to gain something of equal value. Voss relates this concept to leverage, suggesting that a negotiator can enjoy greater sway over a counterpart by demonstrating that the counterpart has something to lose if they do not reach a deal.

Also known as isopraxism, mirroring is a biological and social phenomenon in which one person mimics the attitudes and behaviors of another. As a negotiation tactic, mirroring consists of repeating a few key words back to a counterpart, which typically induces them to elaborate, potentially revealing valuable information.

One way to spot a deceptive counterpart is to look for signs of the Pinocchio effect, which states that people tend to use more words and more third-person pronouns, as well as speak in more complex sentences, when they are lying than when they are telling the truth.

Voss’s rule of three is a reminder to secure confirmation of an agreement from a counterpart at least three times, with subtle variations. That way, any concerns the counterpart may be hiding will have more chances to surface.

As a negotiation tactic, summarizing usually follows active listening techniques like labeling and mirroring. Once a negotiator has a good grasp of a counterpart’s position as well as any underlying emotions, the negotiator can repeat them back to the counterpart to earn a “that’s right” response. Doing so builds empathy and can break down barriers to effective communication.