Nineteen Minutes

Fitting in, or being accepted by one’s peers, is another important theme in the narrative. Fitting in is a major milestone for many students in high school, and Nineteen Minutes delves into what happens for those who do manage to fit in. The characters of Josie and Peter illustrate that fitting in is not a fixed state. The lines between fitting in, being popular, and being bullied because of not being a part of a group, are always in flux. The narrative uses flashbacks to show how both Josie and Peter tried fitting in at one point in time and how successful or unsuccessful they were in this endeavor.

Peter has been bullied his entire life. Though he wants the bullying to stop, he does not want to join the popular kids and begin bullying others. There is a point when Peter picks on a fellow student in class, Dolores. Dolores gets her period in the middle of class and Peter points this out to everyone. The girl is embarrassed, and Peter is momentarily viewed as “cool” because he picked on someone else. Even Josie, who has recently distanced herself from Peter, joins in with taunting the girl when she returns to class. Though initially elated at not being at the bottom of the social order, Peter loses his will to fit in when he is asked to continue taunting Dolores by giving her a tampon. When Peter refuses to do this, and tells everyone else to leave her alone, he is ridiculed and no longer fits in. Josie, however, wants to fit in and so drops her tampon onto the crying girl’s lap.

Josie wishes to fit in so much that she distances herself from Peter, as he is a social pariah. Though they were best friends at one time, Josie realizes that she must act the part to fit in with the popular kids. She also begins dating Matt, the most popular kid at school. Though Matt is revealed in later flashbacks to be abusive and controlling, Josie does not say anything as she will lose her place in the popular group. She does have feelings for Matt, and though she questions things that he does, she ultimately reasons away his bad behavior because of her love for him. When he treats her roughly, for instance, she dismisses it when she looks in his eyes or when he says that he loves her. When he bullies Peter, she looks the other way or tries to change the subject. Josie’s actions reveal that fitting in is akin to a full-time job for some students. As Josie herself mentions, popular kids don’t have friends, they have alliances. These alliances shift but must be maintained to continue fitting in.

For many in Nineteen Minutes, they fall victim to judging those around them by outside appearances. These brash reactions lead to larger problems, with the largest and most immediate in the narrative being the mass shooting at Sterling High. In this regard, Peter’s treatment at school, and the lack of support from administration, is a direct cause of the shooting. For the administrators, Peter’s bullying is yet another instance of school frivolity. He’s bullied like other kids, and the outcome appears consistent with other outcomes. The bully and the one being bullied are separated, reprimanded and/or punished, and life goes on. No one notices, however, that these acts of violence against Peter are pushing him closer to the edge, and to his own act of violence as a form of revenge. As Lacy is reminded by a teacher, even though Lacy thinks school should be some safe place, the reality is that kids bully other kids.

Even Peter’s acquaintance, Derek, mentions that Peter did not appear to be plotting a shooting. From all outward appearances, Peter just seemed angry. When he created the game simulation to kill students and Derek helped Peter, Derek had no idea that Peter might have wanted the scenario to play out in real life. Derek feels horrible because he feels that he could have said something to someone if he had been paying better attention. Likewise, Peter’s mother, Lacy, is conflicted with her guilt over not being present in Peter’s life. She thought her son appeared sullen and withdrawn like he always had. She didn’t delve into his reasons for staying in his room. Once the shooting happens, Lacy goes into Peter’s room and sees the reality of the situation. She finds material for making pipe bombs, and posters and music that indicate a potentially troubled individual. As a parent, she feels she should have been able to see the “real” Peter, the one who was hurting. Instead, she allowed herself to believe the lie that Peter was as she imagined him: her frail, sensitive son.

Alex Cormier, the superior court judge, also struggles with appearances. She must keep up the appearance of being in control of her life. This act leaks into her personal life, so that her daughter, Josie, has no relationship with her. Everyone thinks that the judge has a wonderful home life, and Alex herself often deceives herself by saying that she’s working so hard for Josie’s benefit. When the shooting happens, however, the veil is torn. Alex realizes that she does not know her daughter. She only knows who her daughter used to be. Instead of keeping up appearances, Alex eventually recuses herself from the case to spend time getting to know her daughter. Though the case appears textbook, when Alex is faced with the reality of a grieving mother, she realizes that she hasn’t been looking at the case in the right light.

Josie, too, deals with appearance versus reality. To her peers, she is a popular kid who likes being at the top of the social order. Her flashbacks in the narrative reveal, however, that Josie does not like being in the popular group and that she does not really know who she is. She doesn’t want to be bullied so she goes along with her role, but she wants to tell her friends her true feelings. It is revealed that Josie, the popular girl who’s dating the most popular guy, has a stash of pills to end her life once she stops being popular. Josie later gets rid of these pills, however, when she realizes her foolishness. Death had always appeared like a way out, like an easy answer. Death is a troubling question, however, as opposed to a solution. The shooting has shown Josie this reality.

Even Peter, the Sterling High shooter, is different from the reality of what the reader initially encounters. It’s later revealed that Peter has had a history of being bullied, a history that has ultimately led him to killing his bullies in an act of revenge. It’s also revealed that the yearbook he had, the one where he circled people he wanted to kill, was a book he used to make avatars for a computer game instead of the book he used to pick his victims. Peter’s parents, too, often pitted his success and failures against his older brother (who died in a car accident). Peter’s entire life has been one of not fitting in, of being bullied or misunderstood. Though this reality does not excuse his crime, it does help dispel the myth that Peter is a cold-blooded killer that had no motive, or someone who just decided one day to murder his classmates. The reality of the matter, at least according to Peter’s lawyer, is that Peter was pushed to a breaking point. Peter was also protecting Josie. His tight-lipped demeanor made him appear sullen and confrontational, when much of it was because he was really protecting Josie.