Pashmina

“‘Hi, Uncle Jatin! What about calling me Pri? It might be easier.’

‘Priyanka is easy for me. But I know for people here it’s not.’”

This passage also illustrates The Challenges of Navigating the Immigrant Experience. Just as her classmate Kristy refuses to call Priyanka by her chosen nickname, “Pri,” Uncle Jatin also refuses to call her “Pri” because for him, as an Indian American, “Priyanka” is not hard to pronounce. While this can be read as a validation of Priyanka’s heritage, it also indicates Jatin’s casual denial of her personal wishes, further emphasizing the difficulties of navigating between two cultures.

“‘Jatin and Deepa are like family. They knew you when you were a baby. I’m happy you have a good relation with them. Your uncle Jatin enjoys telling you about India. He’s always been like that. They helped me when I first arrived. Did you know—’

‘Did Uncle Jatin know my dad?’

‘Want to see Sholay on the big screen Saturday?’

‘You always change the subject.’”

This passage introduces The Impact of Family Secrets on Personal Identity. Priyanka’s mother’s reluctance to discuss Priyanka’s father recurs, with Priyanka becoming increasingly annoyed each time until she finally learns the truth about her father from her Meena Mausi. With a more nuanced understanding of the situation, she will accept the fact that her mother withheld the information and cease to resent her for her silence. Although her mother’s silence does not actually help Priyanka, the reasons behind it are indicative of love and protection rather than a desire to hold Priyanka back.

“‘Your auntie is pregnant!’

‘OUCH!’

‘She’s in her fourth month. The doctor is worried because of her age, but I think it will be okay.’”

Although Priyanka’s exclamation refers to her being burned by a sparkler and not to Uncle Jatin’s news that Auntie Deepa is pregnant, it still indirectly indicates her reaction to Deepa’s pregnancy. She is hurt by the news and envious of the new baby. This passage also contains foreshadowing because although Jatin isn’t worried, the baby really does face health complications after being born prematurely.

“Jatin is excited to be a REAL dad now. Thanks to the training with Priyanka!”

Priyanka doesn’t respond verbally to this statement from Auntie Deepa, but her facial expression reveals that she is hurt by these words. Having never met her biological father, Priyanka prizes her relationship with Uncle Jatin and views him as a father figure, so Deepa’s claim that he is not a “real” dad to Priyanka feels hurtful and dismissive to her. At first, Priyanka envies the baby, believing that the arrival of the newborn will threaten her relationship with Jatin. However, she ultimately realizes that Jatin can be a father figure to more than one person.

“‘The baby will be here before we know it. Lots of things will change.’

‘Yeah, I know.’

‘I’m not sure we can continue these outings. Definitely not weekly.’

‘Oh.’”

Priyanka’s simple response of “Oh” is not very demonstrative, but her facial expression reveals that she is hurt by this news, even though it is not unexpected. At this point, Priyanka still views the new baby as a threat who will interfere with her relationship with Uncle Jatin, rather than as a new family member who could enrich both of their lives. The muted nature of her response is calculated to imply many emotions in a split second, even as the author implies that Priyanka still has much to learn about the nature of family love and support.

“Shakti, I don’t ask for much. Please…Please don’t take Uncle Jatin away from me. He doesn’t NEED a baby.”

Just after Priyanka says this prayer to Shakti, her facial expression again reveals her deep guilt at making such a wish, and it is clear that she regrets saying this prayer, although she also doesn’t attempt to take it back or clarify to Shakti that she didn’t mean what she said. This scene suggests that Priyanka feels conflicted about the new baby; she doesn’t necessarily want to hurt her, but she also doesn’t really want to welcome her.

“‘This Shakti stuff doesn’t work, Mom.’

‘What do you mean?’

‘Prayers are useless.’

‘If you want something with your true heart, she will listen. I know it.’

‘Whatever.’

‘Sometimes I wonder why I came to this country.’

‘Mom! Don’t blame the WHOLE country.’

‘In India I would never talk this rude way to my mom.’

‘We’re not in India. Maybe you should’ve stayed there. With my dad.’

‘Life isn’t simple anywhere, Priyanka. When I came to the US, I thought it would be better. Certain things are good, like it’s very clean. But not enough respect here. As for your dad…that subject is permanently closed.’”

After baby Shilpa is born and is initially healthy, Priyanka becomes convinced that praying is “useless,” which her mother views as disrespectful. Ironically, her mother’s words ring true because even though Shilpa becomes temporarily sick, she ultimately gets better, and Shakti herself even confirms that Priyanka did not curse the child with her prayer, perhaps because she didn’t fully mean it. This passage also develops The Challenges of Navigating the Immigrant Experience because Priyanka’s mother acknowledges that life in the US isn’t perfect even though she came to the country out of necessity.

“‘We were close. It’s harder to be a girl in India than you think…She was teased a lot because she wore my old clothes. I saved my pocket money for weeks to buy her new salwars.’

[…]

‘You know girls get teased for their clothes here, too, right?’

‘Maybe…but in India it’s different.’”

This passage further develops The Challenges of Navigating the Immigrant Experience. Both Priyanka and her mother easily recognize the drawbacks of the respective countries in which they grew up but hold an idealized view of them, and this innate difference of perspective leads to misunderstandings and disagreements between the two characters. Over time, they both cultivate a more realistic perspective on both cultures, thereby strengthening their relationship with each other.

“‘We missed you at the hospital today. The baby is going to be sick for a while.’

‘I couldn’t go.’

‘I know it’s sad but your Uncle Jatin and Auntie Deepa need our support. Sometimes we have to do the hard things.’”

When Priyanka’s mother says that they have to do “hard things” sometimes, she is referring to the necessity of rising above selfishness and fear to consider the needs of other people. This quote sets the novel up for repetition, where Priyanka uses her mother’s words against her in the next passage.

“‘So I was thinking we could go to India.’

‘WHAT? What made you think that?’

‘You say I don’t understand. I want to go there and understand.’

‘Serious?’

‘We can go together!’

‘No, I will never go back there. I left India at your age because…well, just no.’

‘Maybe this is a hard thing we have to do together.’

‘I said no, na?’”

This passage develops The Empowering Exploration of Cultural Heritage because Priyanka wants to take a literal journey to India so that she can better understand herself and her family’s history. Her repetition of her mother’s injunction that it is necessary to do “hard things” has rhetorical power because going to India really will be helpful for Priyanka, even though her mother doesn’t want to go due to her painful past experiences there.

“‘I went to Hawa Mahal when I was younger. They built it that way so women could see out. They weren’t allowed to show their face in public.’

‘Ew, really? But it’s so beautiful…’

‘I was thinking if you have questions, I can answer them. You don’t need to go to India.’

‘Mom—I can’t explain it. I feel like I need to go. I don’t know why you won’t let me go. I KNOW there’s beauty there.’

‘India is a poor, dirty place. It does have beauty. More than here, but all that beauty isn’t what it seems.’”

Because Priyanka has never been to the real version of India and has only seen the idealized version presented by the magical pashmina, she is fixated on India’s beauty and doesn’t yet understand its limitations. On the other hand, her mother, having encountered tragedy there, is fixated on the misogyny, poverty, and danger and has learned to discount the country’s beauty and positive aspects. Neither perspective is wholly correct, and only when they are combined can a truer picture of “India” be painted. Priyanka ultimately sees this picture, but only after visiting both the real and the fantastical versions.

“The shawl …It stopped…Maybe choosing to come here was a mistake. But it felt right…Mausi, maybe this sounds crazy. I haven’t told anyone but this is my mom’s shawl, and when I put it on, it took me to India. Not this India…the India like tour books—full of palaces, tigers, and yummy food. There are two guides, Kanta and Mayur. They are my friends. I wanted to see them again, so I put the shawl on…maybe it doesn’t work because I’m already in India? I don’t understand. Why?”

The mysteries behind the pashmina’s magic increase the novel’s suspense. The narrative does not explicitly state why the pashmina doesn’t “work” for Priyanka in this moment, but it is implied that because Priyanka is now in India, the pashmina has already shown her what she needs to see at this point in her journey. There is nothing else to show her until she is ready to meet Rohini Mitra and Shakti and hear their stories about creating the shawl and helping women. The shawl helps women in their journeys toward self-discovery, which are not always linear or straightforward.

“‘Did you see an elephant, peacock, or a shadow there?’

‘No. Just…my daughter.’

‘So the shawl works for you but not me. I don’t understand what’s happening.’

‘What is this pashmina? Where did you find it?’

‘In my mom’s suitcase. It’s from here. I mean India.’

‘It’s Assam silk. Exceptional handiwork. Sualkuchi silks maybe? They’re famous for this kind of work.’”

This passage elaborates on the mysterious magic of the pashmina and ties it more closely to specific cultural details. The scene also emphasizes that because each woman’s journey of self-discovery is unique, each one sees something different when she puts on the pashmina. As of now, the mechanisms behind the pashmina’s magic are still a mystery to the characters.

“‘You should know the truth. Rahul was set to marry Nimisha-di and convinced her to visit him…before their marriage. Then she found she was pregnant. It was awful. I guess he didn’t want to marry her after all or he didn’t want the responsibility of a child. He canceled the wedding…His family knew that if Nimisha-di stayed in the area it would bring his family dishonor. They had money and power. Rahul married another girl. They offered to arrange for your mom to leave.’

[…]

‘Because of me. I can’t believe it. I had so many ideas of who my dad might be…I never thought about why my mom didn’t say. Because he’s terrible. He caused her so much pain. That’s why she never told me—she knew I’d blame myself. And I kept asking her.’”

This passage illustrates The Impact of Family Secrets on Personal Identity. Meena Mausi explains what happened between Priyanka’s parents and why Priyanka’s mother relocated to the US, all of which was a secret to Priyanka until now. Although Priyanka’s initial reaction to this news is to feel guilt, she ultimately becomes closer to her mother and more secure in her own identity thanks to this knowledge.

“‘It was 1944 in Warangal. The factory was the only job for women for miles.’

[…]

‘You will come with me to the new factory. You are the fastest, after all. And my personal favorite.’

‘I didn’t want to be the fastest or the favorite. I wanted another life.’”

This passage elaborates on the specific challenges that the women in the novel face, both in India and the US, due to recurring issues of misogyny. This passage shows that gender-based oppression was intertwined with class-based oppression: The only job available to local women was at an oppressive factory, so Rohini had little financial choice but to take the position even though she disliked it and “wanted another life.” As a woman, she did not have the privilege of choosing between various jobs to find the one that suited her best. Only through the pashmina did Rohini eventually find another, more fulfilling way to make money.

“‘Rohini. I have a favor to ask of you.’

‘Whatever you wish, Lord Shakti.’

‘There is too much injustice. You can help stop this. Inside the office you will find golden silk. Use it to make one last pashmina. That pashmina will allow women to see their choices. You shall no longer be bound by fear.’”

This passage reveals the purpose of the magic pashmina; it “allow[s] women to see their choices” and to “no longer be bound by fear.” Although this describes the pashmina’s general function, the garment impacts each woman differently because each woman has different choices and different goals for the future. Imbued with magic by the goddess Shakti, the pashmina acts as an influential, quasi-sentient force to empower women.

“I saw a possible future free of factory work. I saw my life full of joy and in my control.”

This passage illustrates The Empowering Exploration of Cultural Heritage. For Rohini, the pashmina showed her a future in which she worked as a caretaker for children rather than laboring in an oppressive factory environment. Although the meanings of “joy,” “control,” and empowerment differ for each woman, caring for children embodied these concepts for Rohini. This detail also foreshadows Priyanka’s future realization that Rohini went on to act as a nanny for Priyanka’s grandmother, thereby passing the pashmina on to the girl’s family and eventually to her.

“‘Lord Shakti, please forgive me.’

‘Priyanka, do not worry. Baby Shilpa will be fine. I called you here. The pashmina isn’t enough. You can help me reach more women.’

‘Me?’”

Shakti helps Priyanka discover her identity and purpose, both through the pashmina and by speaking to her directly. Instead of just focusing on her own needs, Priyanka’s purpose in life is also to help other women, including babies like Shilpa who will become women someday. Priyanka takes pride in the idea that she can help other women and goes on to cultivate a more positive, caring attitude toward baby Shilpa after this experience.

“‘Now everything looks different here.’

‘Oh? Even me?’

‘A little.’”

This passage illustrates The Empowering Exploration of Cultural Heritage. After traveling to India and learning about the culture and her family’s history, Priyanka has a renewed appreciation for her mother because she finally understands her past choices and present goals. This, in turn, helps Priyanka to clarify her own choices and goals.

“‘When your father decided not to marry me, I didn’t know what to do. Your Nani Pavani had a pashmina she got from her nanny, Rohini. The night the engagement was canceled, I wrapped it around my shoulders…I saw America. It was amazing and shiny. It was full of fancy technology and beautiful buildings. So clean…But that America exists only in the pashmina. Reality is very different!’

[…] ‘That vision made me ask my parents to find a way to send me to America. I would never have considered it before. Life with you would’ve been impossible in India. Here I can be independent. I made the right choice.’

‘I’m sorry, Mom.’

‘It’s not your fault. NEVER think that.’

‘Mausi said the same. But I am sorry. For everything. I am so sorry I bothered you about that awful man and that I fought with you.’”

This passage elaborates on The Empowering Exploration of Cultural Heritage. Since the pashmina has been passed down through generations of women in Priyanka’s family, it is a family heirloom that symbolizes Priyanka’s heritage. The pashmina also helps various women, including Priyanka’s mother, on their journeys of self-discovery and self-actualization. In Priyanka’s mother’s case, the pashmina helped her decide to move to the US so that she could have a better experience raising Priyanka as a single mother. In Priyanka’s case, the same pashmina helped her gain appreciation for her heritage and understand her role in helping other women.

“Shilpa! Say, ‘Priyanka didi’!”

This quote shows Priyanka’s changed attitude toward baby Shilpa. Before, she was resentful of the baby, didn’t want to hold her, and felt guilty for praying for her demise. Now, she enthusiastically holds Shilpa, smiles at her, plays with her, and asks her to call her didi, which means “sister,” illustrating the bond she now feels with Shilpa.

“‘I’ve never seen so many Indian comics. Thanks, Pri!’

‘You can call me Priyanka.’”

This quote elaborates on The Empowering Exploration of Cultural Heritage. Before, Priyanka lacked connection to her cultural heritage and clarity about her own self-identity, which was partially symbolized by her choice to go by “Pri” instead of “Priyanka.” After visiting India and learning more about her own identity as well as her heritage, she chooses to embrace her heritage and not worry as much about whether her name sets her apart from other kids at school.

“‘So, how was your trip? I’ve gone weeks without a good PRIYANKA story!’

‘Better than any fantasy!’”

This passage further illustrates The Empowering Exploration of Cultural Heritage. Although the magical “trips” Priyanka took with the pashmina may have been fun, empowering, and even instructive, her actual trip to India and the time she spent with Meena Mausi was even better. This realization is presented as being somewhat ironic because the version of India that Priyanka saw through the shawl was beautiful and idealistic and glossed over prevalent issues such as poverty. However, learning the truth was more helpful and instructive for Priyanka than being exposed to an unrealistic fantasy world.