Rick

The first half of the novel establishes the various themes and symbols of the book, as well as Rick’s struggles with them. Much of Rick’s uncertainty in the novel centers on Transitions and Identity. He undergoes several transitions simultaneously: starting sixth grade at a new school, his sister leaving for college, and his weekly meetings with Grandpa Rick. Although Rick clings to constants to stabilize himself—his favorite ice cream flavor is triple chocolate, and his only friend is Jeff —he is still unmoored by the fact that he and Jeff are in separate classes. This separation frees Rick to explore his own identity, independent of Jeff. By observing Melissa’s own transition to better express her identity as female, Rick learns to question himself and discovers his asexuality. By attending Rainbow Spectrum, he finds a new community of people who are open-minded and inclusive. They celebrate him as he is, and he feels free to be himself, unlike how he feels with Jeff. Finally, by breaking away from his close bond with Diane, Rick can open himself up to kinship with Grandpa Ray, someone he initially believed to be a stranger.

Rick engages in several hobbies as comfort. He spins quarters to soothe his mind. Spinning quarters also serves to contrast his interests with those of others. For example, while his peers are beginning to notice and feel sexual and/or romantic attraction toward others, Rick does not. Instead, he focuses on his various quarter tricks: spinning five to seven at once, using both hands simultaneously, and balancing them on their edges. Rick feels different from his peers, but his hobby also validates this difference: Quarter spinning is a subtle art requiring focus, finesse, and skill. Rick also uses television to comfort himself and form relationships with others; he and Diane watch a calligraphy show together that comforts them individually and bonds them as siblings. When Diane visits from college and doesn’t understand Rick’s attempt to come out to her, the show remains a point of connection even if their relationship is no longer as close as it used to be.

Rick also struggles with what is Unconventional Versus Mainstream. While Rick is close with his family, he also feels separate from them. They enjoy common social activities, such as birdwatching and baseball, but Rick does not. Now that Rick is approaching puberty, they also assume that he will become interested in romantic or sexual relationships, and they tease him about finding others attractive even when he doesn’t. Jeff follows a similar, if more toxic, track: He openly comments on girls he finds attractive and enjoys video games, like many other kids his age. Rick’s lack of romantic interest in anyone and lack of interest in conventional hobbies alienate him from what he is told to expect to become as he grows, and when he tries to come out to his immediate family, they dismiss his feelings. They don’t understand him because their mainstream assumptions prevent them from seeing other perspectives. It is only when Rick embraces his unconventional interests that his individuality can blossom. By discovering a fellow Roguer in Grandpa Ray, Rick can embrace his identity as a nerd; by joining Rainbow Spectrum, Rick finds open-minded and supportive classmates who would accept him for who he is (without Jeff), if only he could accept himself.

Rick enjoys Rogue Space as a secret bond with Grandpa Ray. Rick assumes that he will be like most of his family—kind but boringly normal. Discovering that they share a love of the science fiction show Rogue Space allows them to form an initial connection, and Rogue Space structures their weekly meetings for the rest of the book. However, Rogue Space also represents a deeper connection: Grandpa Ray is the first person to accept Rick for who he is, first through a TV show and then by offering advice about Rick’s struggles with Jeff, the only member of his family to do so. Finally, when Diane visits from college, the juxtaposition is clear: Diane rebuffs Rick’s attempt to come out to her and refuses to take him seriously. “You’re too young,” she tells him (116). Grandpa Ray becomes the quiet stranger Rick once observed at family gatherings. As Rick realizes how much he and Diane have changed, he also views Grandpa Ray—through their love of Rogue Space—as the family he now feels closest to because of their shared but secret bond.

The final theme introduced in this section is Friendship and Letting Go. Jeff is Rick’s best friend, but even from the beginning, Rick knows that Jeff is not the nicest person. He bullied Melissa in elementary school, gets into trouble and makes fun of people, and refuses to take responsibility for his actions. He is also anti-gay. However, Rick also knows Jeff’s private side: his troubled relationship with his father and his considerate side, waiting for Rick before progressing through his video games. Rick’s own nervousness about middle school and dependence on Jeff’s social skills also keep him relying on Jeff despite his unsavory public persona. However, as Rick is separated from Jeff in class, he notices other friendships, such as Melissa and Kelly’s, that make him begin to question his own relationship with Jeff. His weekly meetings with Grandpa Ray and recounting of Jeff’s behavior also force him to contemplate and acknowledge Jeff’s behavior. While Rick has not reached his own conclusion yet, his journey has certainly begun. This theme will develop further in the second half of the book.

The final symbol introduced in the novel is that of video games as dark cosplay. Jeff is the only person Rick plays video games with in the book. While it is initially a symbol of their friendship, it foreshadows Jeff’s toxic behavior later. Jeff chooses his video games primarily based on violence—the first one they play is a game focused on bar brawling. Jeff’s glee at bashing someone over the head with a bottle and looking for the shards sticking out of the victim’s scalp hint at his malevolence at school, when he says hurtful things to others, objectifies girls, and uses anti-gay slurs about other students. While Jeff arguably also plays more constructive games, such as building a virtual town, he does so only in anticipation of its subsequent mass destruction. This contrasts with Ronnie, whose hobby is significantly more creative, if less dramatic: He draws objects with faces, bringing things to life rather than destroying them. This juxtaposition highlights the differences between the two boys, not just in their hobbies but also as friendship material.