Saints and Misfits

“Just me, Janna Yusuf, insignificant nobody, daughter of the only divorced mother at the mosque, someone whose sole redeeming feature is being friends with Fidda Noor, aka Fizz, of the famously pious Noor family.”

Janna feels that she is a misfit because of her divorced parents. She believes her association with Fizz lends her some credibility in the Muslim community, but she doesn’t believe that she holds much weight on her own. Because Fizz’s much-respected cousin is the one who assaults her, this makes it particularly difficult for her to feel comfortable sharing the truth, since her strongest ally is personally related to her attacker.

“Saint Sarah: clear, glowing skin; perfectly proportioned, neat features with a big, ever-present smile flashing perfect teeth; a steely determined head; and a Mother Teresa heart.”

Janna refers to Sarah as “Saint Sarah” because of her seeming piety, enthusiasm for Islam, and perfect physical appearance. While at first Janna is resentful of Sarah for these qualities, over the course of the novel she comes to see Sarah as a friend and ally, recognizing that her piety stems from a true desire to make positive changes in the world around her.

“There’s life BD and AD—before divorce and after divorce—and in my head, the BD images, while faded at the edges, glow in the middle, like the filter Tats uses on all her Instagram pictures.”

The divorce of Janna’s parents had a profound impact on her, giving rise to her conviction that she has lost all control over her life. She remembers her life before the divorce with a sense of nostalgia, focusing on how her family functioned as a happy unit. However, after the divorce, Janna’s feelings towards her parents are more complicated; she grows distant from her father as he stops practicing Islam and blames her mother for not trying harder to make the marriage work.

“I wear a celebratory halo of intercultural marriage, free to be, on my head: the tight curls of my Egyptian mother with the blue-black shine of my Indian father, amassed in a tight bun under my scarf.”

The diversity of cultural backgrounds within Islam is explored in Saints and Misfits. Janna herself is the product of two separate cultures, and she sees this reflected in the texture and color of her hair. In addition, her hijab reflects her own sense of identity and autonomy, as this is a garment that she first chose to wear when she started getting older and developing her own sense of self.

“The monster is there on his own, fitting wires into the sound system. His back is to the door, so he doesn’t see me. I find Aliya in the hall, arranging guest shoes in neat rows, and ask her to tell Fizz that I’m sorry, but I had to leave because of not feeling well.”

Whenever Janna encounters Farooq during the first half of the novel, she feels compelled to run away. The assault has created in her a physical response of panic whenever he is around. Because of this power over her, Farooq begins to invade more and more of her previously “safe” spaces, deliberately intimidating and threatening her in order to get what he wants. Janna’s physical reaction to Farooq’s presence therefore explores the deep impact that trauma has on the body as well as the mind.

“I’m like Dad in a lot of ways. He dresses in black too, knows how to stay on course, never surrender, remain calm, and carry on. Like me.”

Although her brother is embarrassed by his father’s rejection of Islam, Janna identifies with her father and feels a closeness to him that she lacks with her mother and brother. This dynamic is exemplified in the way she consults his daily email chain for tidbits of wisdom; despite their distance, she continues to find guidance in her father’s words. Their similarities in personality allow her to understand his motivations while her brother cannot.

“It’s him again. I know because I see his white throwb, a traditional long robe. He always wears it at Muslim events. Like he’s some holy person.”

Although Farooq outwardly portrays himself as a devout Muslim in every respect, Janna knows the truth of how he conducts himself. The tension between Farooq’s outward appearance and renown in their community and his act of selfishness and violence against Janna is something that only Janna is aware of, and thus only she can reveal it. In the latter half of the novel, she grapples with the choice of whether or not it is her responsibility to expose him for who he actually is.

“How did Fizz morph, in my mind, from a best friend with a no-nonsense attitude into this stern, judgmental person in the span of a few days?”

At the beginning of Saints and Misfits, Fizz is Janna’s closest confidante. As the novel progresses, however, Janna begins to see Fizz in a different light. Fizz makes derisive and judgmental comments about others, such as Muslim girls who only wear their hijab to the mosque. Because of Janna’s recent traumatic experience, she develops a deeper empathy for those that Fizz might call “weak,” knowing that the motivations behind their actions might be more complicated than Fizz can understand.

“Dad is stiff, arm’s-length-only family to Muhammad, mainly due to their different views on Islam. Muhammad and Mom are becoming a team. And then there’s me. Dangling in the wind.”

The traumatic incident and the secret that Janna carries creates a rift between her and her family. At first, she can’t see that the secret itself is creating the rift; she focuses instead on the way her mother and brother want the same thing (for Janna to give up her room) and disregard Janna’s own preferences and desires. The rift between her and her family continues even after she gives up her room, showing that her secret is what actually creates the gap between them.

“If our outsides look pious but our core is not mindful of Him, we are not true servants of God. We must constantly strive to align these. That is the beautiful struggle of being a believer.”

This quote is taken from a response to a question that Janna’s uncle Amu answers about religious clothing. Amu highlights a major theme of Saints and Misfits, that the inner motivation and belief is just as important as the outward practice. He urges the questioner not to become too fixated on details, but instead to follow the practices of modesty and cleanliness while also making sure their heart is aligned with these values.

“Is it wrong to make a deal with God? I’ll reorganize myself in the apartment if you reorganize my life?”

When Janna finally agrees to give up her room to Muhammad, she hopes that it will allow her to regain some control over her life. Throughout the novel, she loses control due to the trauma and its aftermath as well as the harassment and bullying she endures at the hands of Farooq and Lauren. This pivotal change in her character arc is her first attempt at trying to regain a sense of autonomy despite these many challenges.

“Her ideas of good and evil are split so clearly into one side or the other. In her mind, because of the posted pictures, I’ve taken a step to the other side. The evil one. And for her, the monster is firmly on the good side.”

In this quote, Janna reflects on how she has begun to see Fizz. Fizz takes a very black-and-white approach to morality, while Janna begins to see the world with more nuance because of her recent traumatic experiences. Further complicating things is the fact that Fizz believes Farooq to be a good person because of his outward appearances, while Janna knows the truth. This tension puts a strain on their friendship and leads them to grow apart from one another.

“What would it feel like to glide by the monster, all in black, like Sausun? I’d give him no access to me, or my expressions, even my body language, if I wore a huge, tentlike outfit.”

When Sausun begins wearing the niqab, Janna sees it as empowering. She recognizes it as Sausun’s choice to only allow select people to truly see her. However, she also fantasizes about being anonymous around Farooq, since that would take away his access to her and power over her. This line of thought foreshadows the eventual confrontation between Janna and Farooq.

“Is it true, what someone said, that it’s a million times easier to tell a stranger your deepest secrets than a person who cares for you?”

The first person whom Janna tells about Farooq is Sausun, a person who initially seemed off-putting and cold to Janna. But when Farooq corners Janna in her dad’s basement, she becomes upset, and Sausun makes her feel safe enough to finally reveal the truth of what Farooq did to her. Here Janna muses on the irony that she couldn’t tell anyone close to her but eventually shared the truth with a stranger.

“Come to think about it, Mom isn’t even like that. She didn’t suffer in silence with Dad. She jumped to action and dumped him. She acted like Sausun said she would if somebody kicked up dirt in her life.”

Janna judges her mom for her high regard of those who suffer in silence, pointing out that only women have ever been expected to do so. But later, when she reflects on her parents’ divorce, she realizes that her mom also took action when she was suffering in her marriage. This adds new depth to Janna’s ability to discern the right thing to do in her own situation.

“The 60 percent reason that I hold back has to do with something I’m 100 percent sure of: I can’t handle people thinking I come from a messed-up community.”

Someone that Janna wants to tell about the assault is Tats, a friend who has been loyal to her since she moved to town. But Janna holds back out of fear that this will create a bad mental image of the Muslim community in Tats’s mind. This fear reflects the harmful stereotypes and myths about Muslim people that Janna is aware of as a Muslim American.

“But now, watching his lips move and his body tighten up further as time ticks by, the mother of all rhetorical questions whams me with such force that I almost bang my forehead on the glass. Why is everything neater in my head than in real life? What is real life anyway?”

Although Janna spends a great deal of Saints and Misfits pining for her crush, Jeremy, it is not until she finally begins to move forward with him that she realizes that their situation is a lot more complicated in practice. They come from different cultural backgrounds: Janna is Muslim while Jeremy is not. These differences create problems that begin to negatively impact Janna’s life and other relationships, leading her to reconsider her desire. She eventually has the epiphany that real life is a lot more complex than her fantasies, and she gives up on the idea of Jeremy as a potential partner.

“I realize this awful thing: Mr. Ram was the adult I had the most consistent communication with for the last few years, mainly because even though I kept talking crap and he knew it, he let me be. He just listened.”

Only after Mr. Ram’s death does Janna realize how important he was to her and how much he influenced her for the better. Although she acknowledges that she wasn’t always sincere in her interactions with him, he still gave her space to be herself and offered her wisdom without expectation. This dynamic explores the theme of how meaningful mentor and mentee relationships are often just a space in which one person can be themselves without judgement, while still receiving guidance and support.

“Sometimes people who appear great can be the real deal. The husk, the fruit, and the kernel align.”

Janna thinks this about Nuah, a new friend who offers to help when he learns the truth about Farooq. In contrast to Farooq, Nuah appears to be a good person, always trying to make others smile, and always living up to his outward appearance. Even after Janna says cruel things to him, he forgives her, revealing a kind and compassionate core.

“We’re two sad and angry women, about to wreak vengeance on one unsuspecting monster.”

Janna unexpectedly bonds with Sausun after Sausun reveals that her brother-in-law has also abused her sister’s trust by marrying other women in other countries. Sausun resolves to use her platform on YouTube to bring these men to justice.

“The disgust I feel at me is gone. The gunk of self-blame dissolves to leave just me standing there.”

After Janna confronts Farooq, she realizes the true nature of the burden she has been carrying: a sense of self-blame and disgust at herself. Because Farooq was not held accountable for his actions, she internalized the harm done to her and blamed herself, and making the decision to speak out against him finally frees her from this spiritual torment.

“When it was in my head, it was easier, this thing between us. It was almost better than the real thing because it was neat and could be opened and closed as much as I wanted it to be. It didn’t involve another person’s heart. Or two worlds colliding.”

Janna has an epiphany at the end of the novel that her idealized relationship with Jeremy was never realistic; it was based on a fantasy rather than reality. By saying it could be “opened and closed” Janna implies that this fantasy of romance was secluded from the rest of her world. As part of her coming-of-age narrative, she begins to realize that real love requires two people with aligned values and aspirations.

“Maybe that’s why I couldn’t do anything about the monster before. The why wasn’t there. Because all I felt was this shame.”

Part of the impetus for Janna to confront Farooq is her burgeoning understanding of the importance of finding a motivation behind good actions. Her conversations with Sarah and Sausun, both of whom are active in attempting to change the world around them, inspire her to look for a reason beyond herself to confront Farooq. In the climax of the novel, she realizes that by confronting him, she can potentially protect other young women from getting hurt, and this drives her to bring the truth to light.