Tasting the Sky: A Palestinian Childhood

Ibtisam begins each day at school reciting the Qur’an. She does not like the UN-donated milk or the cod liver oil pills the teachers force them to take. She also dreads the daily hygiene check: when teachers inspect for long fingernails, head lice, and fleas. Embarrassing cleanliness infractions are punished with a slap. Girls with lice or fleas are sprayed with DDT. Teachers warn that in upper grades, girls must lower their pants while teachers smell them to see if they have washed. Ibtisam feels sorry for the refugee camp girls who have little water and cannot bathe frequently. Mother checks Ibtisam’s hair often, removing lice and fleas. She warns Ibtisam away from the camp girls, the source of the pests, but Ibtisam is curious about their home lives. Ibtisam is friends with a shy, six-fingered camp girl named Nofaleyyah.

Ibtisam enjoys school but fears walking home alone because of high-school dropout Zuhair. He lurks around the road, frightening her with rude gestures. Ibtisam leaves school two hours earlier than her brothers, so they cannot protect her. One day, Ibtisam runs away from Zuhair, but Zuhair grabs her and takes her bookbag. He sets her on a tree branch and demands she pick cherries. He pulls up her skirt, touches her skin, and she fights him, scratching his eyes. Zuhair throws her from the tree and threatens to hurt her if she tells anyone. At home, Ibtisam refuses to go to school unless she can walk home with her brothers. Mother, pregnant again and easily upset, finally agrees. Mother does not learn about Zuhair.

Twice, while waiting for her brothers after school, Ibtisam explores the Jalazone Camp despite Mother’s warnings. There, the houses are just crowded, cobbled-together shacks. Dirty, often naked children play in the filthy streets. There is no sewer system and little food. The sight of even greater poverty than what her family faces makes Ibtisam unhappy, and she does not return. Instead, she reads stories while she waits. Many stories remind her of sad events in her own life, like Cinderella fleeing and losing her shoe, and Red Riding Hood encountering a wolf-like Zuhair. Ibtisam mentally-re-writes the stories, empowering the heroines. The story of Elephant Boo, who accompanies his dying mother to an elephant graveyard, particularly affects Ibtisam. She cries, imagining the elephant without his mother, and fears that Mother is dying. Mother reassures Ibtisam that she is fine. Mother safely gives birth to a baby boy, delighting Father.

On the last day of school, Ibtisam is happy to win first place in her class, receiving a pencil and a ball, which are “treasures.” When Ibtisam shows Mother her certificate and the gifts, Mother ceremoniously gives Ibtisam her one pair of gold earrings. Ibtisam feels that she finally “earned” Mother’s affection.

Ibtisam starts second grade in the fall of 1970. The death of Egyptian leader Jamal Abdel Nasser causes widespread grief among Palestinians. Father and Mother are distraught because Nasser was pro-Arab and pro-Palestinian: He worked to end the conflict between Jordan and the Palestinian feyadeen, or “freedom fighters.” Father buys a newspaper featuring a picture of Nasser that Mother carefully cuts out and frames. They cry as they listen to radio programs of Nasser’s speeches. The Israeli military presence increases. Fast Israeli planes fly low over Ramallah, frightening Ibtisam, who keeps her shoes on and her eyes on her younger siblings so they are not left behind as she was, in case the family must flee. Mother keeps a packed suitcase by the door, making Ibtisam afraid that Mother would leave them.

In the spring of 1971, two soldiers come to their door. Mother, as usual, points to their well. But one soldier blows kisses at Mother and makes lewd gestures, the way Zuhair did to Ibtisam. Mother is frightened. She demands that they move, and Father agrees. He sells the home and finds a place in a building with other families in a more populated area. Father is depressed and wonders why he deserves this loss. Mother is happy they will be around other people with a wall around them. Ibtisam looks into the empty house and sees it full of memories. She cries, feeling like she is losing the one place that is her true home. She builds a stone qantara representing each family member. 

Ibtisam returns to 1981, the start of her memoir. In a short free verse poem, Ibtisam compares her younger self to a bird in “singing out” her story. Ibtisam is glad she chose to remember her childhood and knows she will now be able to talk about her childhood with her pen pals. She begins a mental letter to “everyone” about the things she has lost but remain in her heart, including her shoes, Souma, Zuraiq, her house, and her childhood. Fortunately, she has her “eternal friend” Alef to help reassemble her life and express her memories. Ibtisam concludes her memoir with a poem titled “A Song for Alef.” She describes the letter Alef as a refugee without a home, moving between papers, and as the key that unlocks her memory’s post office box. Alef looks ahead and sees war but looks even further and sees peace. Alef helps create stories that heal hurts and bring hope. Alef is Ibtisam’s “refuge.” Ibtisam concludes with a quote from Philo of Alexandria exhorting people to “Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a great battle” (172).