45 pages • 1 hour read
Priya ParkerThe Art of Gathering
Nonfiction | Book | Adult | Published in 2018A modern alternative to SparkNotes and CliffsNotes, SuperSummary offers high-quality Study Guides with detailed chapter summaries and analysis of major themes, characters, and more.
Chapter 2Chapter Summaries & Analyses
Chapter 2 Summary: “Close Doors”
Chapter 2 focuses on two aspects of gathering: how to make decisions about who to include, and where to host. For Parker, deciding on attendees is about much more than making a guest list. The list of those who take part in a gathering is directly tied to its purpose, in her eyes. Over-inclusion suggests a lack of purpose, a problem narrowing it, or a lack of commitment to it. The result is detrimental for guests: “the thoughtful gatherer understand that inclusion can in fact be uncharitable, and exclusion generous” (36). As far as Parker is concerned, this means that people should be fully comfortable with excluding people from a gathering. She concedes that this runs counter to the urge most people have to be open, accommodating, and inclusive in their gatherings.
Parker uses a variety of anecdotes to support her claims about creating the guest list for a gathering. Some are personal, and others are drawn from her professional life. One concerns a group of friends who decide not to allow friends-of-friends to take part in the group because its purpose is actually to give a close group a chance to hang out by exercising; it is not simply a means to work out. Parker borrows a similar anecdote from her colleague Nora Abousteit: More than 60 years ago, her father opened the first students-only bar while a graduate student in Giessen, Germany. He held to the students-only focus to such an extent that when the vice mayor of the city showed up, he was turned away. By sticking to its purpose even when it means excluding some people, Parker implies, the bar has remained successful.
The practical tips Parker provides for how to exclude well are straightforward and simple: Those who are connected to the gathering’s purpose could be included, while those who are counter to it—or simply irrelevant—can be left out. She acknowledges it takes courage to resist the urge to be polite. In a multigenerational meeting of leaders of political movements that Parker was organizing, she refused one influential donor's request to bring a guest. She insisted upon the gathering’s common purpose, feeling that “bringing a close friend would keep that guest’s attention at least somewhat focused on her friend, as well as provide a safety blanket to not engage as deeply as she might otherwise” (44). Despite the declined request, the donor attended anyway, and the gathering’s purpose remained intact.
To respond to readers who wonder if the practice of excluding people from a gathering creates a lack of diversity, Parker insists “diversity is a potentiality that needs to be activated. It can be used or it can just be there” (45). As an illustrative example, she cites Judson Manor in Ohio, a housing center comprised of a mix of senior citizens and young music students. The seniors benefit from musical performances put on by the students, and the students receive free housing. By limiting the housing center to just these two groups, Parker argues, both of them mix with a more diverse set of people than either would otherwise.
Toward the close of the chapter, Parker turns attention to choosing the location for a gathering. While such decisions are often made on the basis of objective constraints like cost or seating capacity—“every consideration but purpose,” Parker remarks (53)—it is worth keeping in mind that venues have a major role in shaping behavior. Since, for instance, we behave very differently in a formal boardroom than in a park, the location of a gathering must be chosen deliberately, to ensure that its purpose is supported.
To support this point, Parker describes a story she came across in her research for the book. Several years ago, two large companies, Alcatel and Lucent, were in talks to plan a merger. Originally, they planned to host the talks in a neutral location, a nondescript hotel. At the last minute, however, the venue changed to a luxurious palace, Château des Mesnuls in France, the home country of Alcatel’s leadership. The entire mood of the talks changed along with the location; the American company Lucent felt as though they were the victims of arrogance and mistreatment, and so the deal fell through.
Chapter 2 Analysis
Chapter 2 lays out a claim many readers may find controversial. Going against the grain of making gatherings as welcoming and widely inclusive as possible, Parker urges readers to thoughtfully limit who takes part in an event to achieve its purpose. In retrospect, the structure of The Art of Gathering rhetorically facilitates this claim. By clearly establishing her authority as an expert in conflict resolution and as a consultant on gatherings in the Introduction, Parker eases the sting of the second chapter’s assertion that inclusion can be detrimental. By presenting the idea of exclusion as “generous” and full of “compassionate potential,” and the idea of diversity as something more than superficial, Parker is making an argument for how to relate to other people, not just for how to properly host an event (36, 38).
Given that commonplace advice suggests trying to include everyone, Parker is aware that her claim needs the support of evidence. Again, she makes careful rhetorical choices to achieve this goal. The evidence Parker utilizes to support her ideas in Chapter 2 is once again comprised of anecdotes drawn from stories of notable cultural and business leaders, and from personal experiences. This continued wide scope is meant to make readers feel included and like the book’s insights are applicable to their situations. She cites many examples to support the idea that gatherings should be exclusive, including cases of how she herself has (wrongly, she thinks) wanted to make certain gatherings overly inclusive. These examples build ethos and readers’ trust, showing that Parker did not simply come up with an extraordinary claim that gatherings should be exclusive out of nowhere but worked out this principle through trial and error, and careful analysis.
Parker continues to emphasize the practical application of her ideas, providing guidance on things as specific as density at a gathering (how many attendees per square foot). At the same time, she stresses that readers have room for choice and adjustment—density can be varied, for example, based on whether organizers want an event to be sophisticated or livelier. Parker intends to present her ideas as nondogmatic and more acceptable. Nevertheless, she strongly advises readers to follow certain points, such as resisting what she calls the Château Principle. Citing Lucent and Alcatel’s failure to merge because their meeting was held at a poorly chosen location, Parker tells readers, “Your choice of venue is one of your most powerful levers over your guests’ behavior” (58). Broadening the book’s discussion to include things like location and other tangible aspects of gatherings shows how to ensure that those who do take part in a gathering are given the opportunity to be included and productively engage, supporting its purpose. In addition, it allows Parker to transition from the abstract idea of purpose to subsequent chapters’ emphasis on planning and running an event.
