The Art of Seduction: An Indispensible Primer on the Ultimate Form of Power

Greene argues that people want to experience past childhood pleasures, so seducers can help them regress by enacting aspects of the parent-child relationship. One person can play the parent and the other the child, which he calls “the ultimate fantasy: the chance to have an intimate relationship with mommy or daddy, son or daughter” (333). Freud deduced that discussing childhood memories with women, combined with his distant father figure presence, made them transfer their feelings to him (335). Freud used this transference to help patients tackle their issues through regression. Seducers can act as distant therapists and create an emotional bond. Their interest then unknowingly shares their vulnerabilities and issues, which creates a regression, and the seducer can then act as the person from their childhood who left an unfulfilled need.

Greene outlines four types of regression. Infantile Regression involves recreating a mother’s unconditional love and providing attention, comfort, and environments reminiscent of childhood. Victor Hugo married a woman who looked like his mother, then had affairs with Juliette Drouet and Léonie d’Aunet at the same time. When he had to choose, he chose Juliette because she had a motherly quality and gave him unconditional love.

Oedipal Regression involves providing love and discipline with an erotic tinge. In Heinrich Mann’s novel Professor Unrat, Professor Mut meets actress Rosa Fröhlich, the romantic interest of one of his students. Rosa criticizes his harsh treatment of his students, like a mother, but also compliments him and touches him seductively. This combination created an oedipal regression, and she seduces him.

Ego Ideal Regression helps a person live an ideal from youth by reliving adolescence, a feeling of infatuation, or first love. François René de Chateaubriand met Sylphide and created an imaginary affair with her, giving her qualities similar to his sister, to whom he had a strong attachment. He then had an affair with Récamier, whose innocence resembled Sylphide. She was his idealized lover who helped him regress into childhood through seduction.

Reverse Parental Regression involves the seducer’s own regression to childhood and helping the interest enact repressed erotic feelings they had for a parent. King James I was seduced by George Villiers, who took the Earl of Somerset’s place as the king’s favorite. Because Villiers acted like an innocent and needy child around the king, he succeeded at gaining the king’s favor. Innocence and weakness creates a need for protection.

The reverse of this technique entails both people acting as adults, which Greene warns against, stating that seduction requires some regression.

This technique focuses on pushing societal limits and transgressing taboos. Lord Byron began an affair with Lady Caroline Lamb. He revealed his secret affairs with men and was mean to her, and she chased him, but the affair ended. He then met Frances Webster and became her lover, as well as becoming his half sister’s lover. Annabella Milbanke was intrigued by him, despite the incest, and when he proposed, she accepted.

Greene contends that women during Lord Byron’s time wanted a different role in society, as “[t]hey were supposed to be the decent, moralizing force in culture” (353). Gothic novels of the period pushed them to live their fantasies, and men like Lord Byron offered transgressions like adultery or incest.

Other examples include Villiers falling in love with Queen Anne of France, an opponent of England, and Flynn, who was accused of rape but still popular with women. In Junichiro Tanazaki’s novel Quicksand, Mitsuko seduces Sonoko Kakiuchi through transgressive acts. Richelieu pursued young girls and seduced them in their bedrooms while their parents were in the house. Valentino was abusive toward his wife, a transgression that his movie studio used to sell his image.

Greene argues that people in the 21st century are even more repressed and attracted to those who are transgressive. He tells seducers to use cruelty because masochism can also create relief. Seducers can also offer a psychological or false sense of transgression or create the feeling that they are committing illegal or secret acts. The story of Tristan and Isolde’s affair also pushes limits because Isolde is engaged to King Mark, and Tristan works for him. The reverse of this technique is maintaining proper behavior, which can be seductive because it is rare, but the seducer must present intense virtue, pushing the limits in an opposite way.

This strategy emphasizes using spirituality to seduce a person because religion helps people identify with something bigger than themselves, while also serving as distraction. Barney wooed courtesan Liane de Pougy in Paris in the 1890s by worshipping her. Similarly, Barney made her home look like a chapel to seduce Renée Vivien and took her to Lesbos, the home of the poet Sappho; Vivien began to see Barney as Sappho. Greene explains that Barney helped both women idolize beauty and poetry, enact rituals, and visit holy places. The women projected their devotional feelings onto Barney, and their repressed sexuality disappeared.

Seducers attract a person through pleasure, but they know that the goal is physical, so Greene says that seducers must infiltrate a person’s “soul” to lengthen the seduction and hide the deception: “Lure the victim deep into your web with spirituality, making physical pleasure seem sublime and transcendent. Spirituality will disguise your manipulations, suggesting that your relationship is timeless” (364).

In Madame Bovary, Rodolphe Boulanger seduces Emma Bovary by drawing the spiritual into their interaction. Seducers can use astrology, the occult, paganism, and other spiritual ideas to create a sense of destiny while using culture, nature, and art to project spirituality. The reverse of this technique is using spirituality to create shorter relationships.

Greene contends that seducers should add pain to their seduction because being overly nice is boring and implies insecurity. Pain can occur through distance or breakups, which create tension and dependency, followed by a return to niceness that eases that tension. In Pierre Louÿs’s novella Woman and Puppet, Conchita Pérez plays with Don Mateo Diaz’s feelings until he falls in love, rejecting him, pretending to have an affair, and seducing him by manipulating his emotions and causing pain, jealousy, and embarrassment, addicting him to the cycle of pleasure and pain. Greene argues that seducers who use too much pleasure cannot create the excitement needed to prolong the interaction. They also should not concern themselves with negative emotions: “Do not worry about making people angry; anger is a sure sign that you have your hooks in them” (374).

Kissinger was interviewed by journalist Oriana Fallaci, who irritated him with questions about the off-limits topic of the Vietnam War. When she complimented his politics, he softened and discussed Vietnam, which prompted stronger questions. She mixed pleasantness and sharpness to seduce him into answering her questions. Greene explains that people often maintain walls around their emotions and that seducers must evade those “resistances” by being both nice and assertive.

This technique allows an interest to act as the victim who can then forgive the seducer. A reverse of this technique is offering a lot of pleasure to people who have had too much pain in their lives. Adding pain to someone’s life only works on those who have not experienced it much.

The final phase discusses how to make a person give in physically, first by making them the pursuer by feigning disinterest, creating suspense and insecurity. Charles Baudelaire anonymously sent Apollonie Sabatier several love letters in 1852. She realized it was him, based on the poetry and his behavior around her. When he published The Flowers of Evil, she noticed that some of the poetry was the same. He sent her a copy of the book and a letter asking for forgiveness, which pulled her in, and she began to write him letters, but he was still distant. He finally told her he was no longer interested.

Turning an interest into a pursuer makes them “active participants in the seduction…hopelessly ensnaring themselves in your web in the process” (388). Greene explains that a person who is pursued has low sexual desire, but a pursuer has increased desire. Making a person the pursuer differs from making them dependent, as in Chapter 20. Seducers should not use both techniques, but rather choose one based on their love interest.

Greene also suggests being neutral sexually to make oneself more difficult to attain, or creating jealousy by showing interest in someone else. Being absent also creates anxiety, which Greene connects to the arguments of psychologist Theodore Reik, who claimed that a person learns love from their mother’s rejection. She removes her love because of misbehavior, creating anxiety in the child about rejection. Children then learn to avoid rejection by being affectionate and good, and adults deal with rejection by pursuing others. The reverse of this technique is not using too much absence because this can create too much space.

This chapter addresses the use of the senses to suggest sexual interest. Dancer Caroline Otero seduced theater manager Ernest Jurgens using touch, her voice, and body language, and he gave her a contract. She later became a famous courtesan. Greene notes that her techniques made men subconsciously interested because she used the senses, rather than words or deeds.

Greene explains how Flynn used his calm demeanor, touch, facial expressions, and uninhibitedness to create interest and push past a woman’s barriers and traditional beliefs.

Greene argues that people in general have overstimulated and dissatisfied minds and desire relief through physical pleasure. Seducers must emphasize the physical to calm the mind, much like a hypnotist (401). They can use letters, memories, and objects, then see their interest more frequently, intensely, and with more attention. The person will then be more vulnerable to physical cues.

Actress Lan Ping seduced Chinese soccer player Li in 1934 using touch, her voice, and words, later seducing and marrying Mao. Using the eyes, proximity, and flattery can create this experience. Seducers can also use neutral physical activity, such as swimming, which focuses a person on their body without blatant sexuality. Further, a messy physical appearance can work because it evokes the bedroom. This technique is reversed by using spirituality instead of the physical.

Greene tells seducers that they must be bold to succeed in their seduction and help their interest let go. This “tells your targets that they have made you lose your normal restraint, and gives them license to do so as well. People are yearning to play out the repressed sides of their personality” (410). Boldness is one way seduction differs from how people act in the real world, which has more falseness. Greene claims that people can be themselves more in a seduction and avoid false modesty. In Dangerous Liaisons, Lamont’s bold move is embracing Tourvel after referring to the emotion of their letters and memories of their interactions. Seducers must identify their interest’s readiness for the bold move through their words or behavior, then suggest that the interest has caused the move.

Flynn became interested in tantric sex and learned to hold back his boldness to lengthen the seduction. Richelieu boldly seduced a duchess by creeping into her bed naked.

Greene argues that the bold move should not be too surprising. It releases the tension created by the seduction process. Bandello tells a story about a Venetian widow showing a nobleman her palace, and when he asks about her bedroom, he is seduced by its sensual appearance and lighting.

Creating a mood in a person will also make the bold move effective. Greene notes that both men and women can make bold moves, but argues that women can create the desire, then let the man make the move or make the move herself. There is no reverse to this technique because “if two people come together by mutual consent, that is not a seduction” (413).

The final chapter addresses preventing the negative aftereffects of seduction, which Greene calls “a kind of spell, an enchantment. When you seduce, you are not quite your normal self; your presence is heightened, you are playing more than one role” (417). Seducers take their interest away from their daily lives until the end of the seduction, which is followed by disenchantment. This occurs either when the interaction ends or when people end up in a relationship.

These effects include the feeling that the seducer has stopped trying, which can be minimized by showing that the seduction isn’t over; a feeling of familiarity, so mystery should be maintained; interests becoming more serious, so seducers should maintain lightness; and a slow burnout instead of a quick ending.

Examples of these effects are Chevalier de Belleroche’s affair with the Marquise de Merteuil in Dangerous Liaisons. Greene notes that keeping someone interested requires continual re-seduction. Reversing this technique involves letting them learn a little bit about the seducer.

The first appendix describes seductive and distracting environments. It suggests creating theatrical effects through clothing, makeup, manner, and drama; utilizing pleasurable visual language through mirrors, light, and luxury; maintaining a closeness by being in a crowd; creating mystical or spiritual effects through images, books, or music; creating the sense that time is passing quickly and making an interest feel young; and generating moments through drama, parties, or other events. Examples relate to courtesans in 18th-century Japan, Warhol’s studio, and Casanova’s seduction of Cristina.

This appendix focuses on using seduction to sell a product or oneself as a celebrity or politician, using an indirect method that creates a positive association with the person or message. The product or person should be a noticeable news item: foster emotions instead of logic, use visual images, put oneself on the audience’s level and relate to them, pretend like others are already interested in them, and change people’s identities or senses of reality instead of their ideas. Those who have used this technique include Andrew Jackson in the presidential election against John Quincy Adams, Lucky Strike, Ronald Reagan’s communications team, and press agent Harry Reichenbach for the films The Virgin of Stamboul and Outside the Law.