The Birthday Party

The following morning begins, mirroring the start of Act I. Petey comes in from outside, and Meg, hearing him, enters. This time, however, she’s looking for Stanley. Meg notes that she’s out of cornflakes, and their other two guests have eaten the breakfast she cooked. Meg offers Petey tea, promising to go shopping momentarily. She has a headache and a hangover from the night before, and is surprised to see the drum is broken. She doesn’t remember the drum breaking and is disappointed, but she is glad that Stanley at least had it for his birthday. She asks where Stanley is, deciding to wake him up for breakfast, but Petey reminds her that there is no breakfast, suggesting that she let him sleep. Meg says that earlier, she brought up Stanley’s usual cup of tea, but McCann answered his door and claimed that he and Stanley were talking. Meg is curious about this, wondering whether McCann and Stanley previously knew each other. She decides Stanley must have gone back to sleep after McCann and Goldberg came down to eat breakfast.

Meg starts to leave to go shopping but stops at the door, apprehensive about the big car parked outside. In a fearful whisper, she asks Petey about it and if he’s seen anything in it like a wheelbarrow. Petey asks why Goldberg would have a wheelbarrow, since it is his car. Meg sighs with relief. Before she can leave for shopping, a door slams in the house, and Meg rushes into the kitchen in anticipation, worrying that there’s nothing for breakfast.

Goldberg enters, and Meg shows her disappointment that he isn’t Stanley. She asks Goldberg if Stanley will be coming down, and he assures her that he will. When Meg asks about Goldberg’s car and whether he plans to go for a ride, he evades her question and talks instead about how nice and loyal his old car has always been. Meg exits, instructing Petey to relay the message to Stanley that she will return shortly. Goldberg comments, “A good woman. A charming woman. My mother was the same. My wife was identical” (71).

Petey asks Goldberg how Stanley is doing, and Goldberg says noncommittally that someone with more credentials could give a better answer, but that Dermot has been keeping him company all morning. Petey questions this new name, but Goldberg only says, “Yes” (71). Goldberg claims that the birthday party was the final straw driving Stanley into a “nervous breakdown,” which he says is inevitable with certain people and happens without warning. Petey describes coming home the night before. The house was dark when he arrived, so he put a shilling in the slot in the electricity meter, restoring the lights. But the party had already ended by that point. Petey had then headed upstairs and run into Dermot—a name that elicits a surprised reaction from Goldberg, until Petey reminds him, “Your friend—Dermot” (72). Petey asks hopefully if Stanley might have recovered by now, promising to call a doctor at lunchtime if he isn’t better. Goldberg insists that they are handling it. Petey, unsure, sees McCann enter with their suitcases.

As Petey returns the teapot to the kitchen, Goldberg asks, “Well?” (73). McCann asserts that he will not go back into Stanley’s room, but that Stanley, who had been talking, has now quieted. Goldberg questions McCann’s reluctance, and McCann explains that he returned Stanley’s broken glasses and left Stanley trying “to fit the eyeholes into his eyes” (74). Petey enters during this and offers some sellotape as a temporary repair measure, but Goldberg reassures him that they are handling everything and will take Stanley to someone named Monty. Petey won’t back down, arguing that Stanley should see a doctor and resisting when Goldberg tells him to leave and go to work. Petey replies that he is only stepping out to check on his peas and that he’ll return soon. Goldberg sits at the table with McCann, noticing that McCann is tearing the newspaper into strips. Irked, Goldberg tells him to stop, and when McCann asks what’s wrong with him today, Goldberg gets frustrated at the endless questions he’s receiving.

Goldberg admits that he is uncharacteristically exhausted. McCann asks if they ought to go ahead upstairs and “finish the bloody thing” (76). When Goldberg doesn’t respond, McCann says, “Nat!” and then “Simey!” (76), at which Goldberg wraps his hands around McCann’s throat and growls, “NEVER CALL ME THAT!” (76). McCann swears that he was just trying to ask whether he ought to go back upstairs. Goldberg lets him go but asks him to come over and look into his mouth.

When McCann looks, Goldberg explains that he has never so much as lost a tooth, even as a child, and has always been in perfect health. Goldberg has always followed the rules and stayed focused, and he attributes his success to all of this. Goldberg advises, “Learn by heart. Never write down a thing. And don’t go too near the water. And you’ll find—that what I say is true” (78). Goldberg falters and starts to repeat himself, lost and frustrated. He asks McCann to come closer and describes the lessons that his father, who called him Benny, taught him on his deathbed, telling him to be wary of lazy people and to remember his family and all of the relatives who preceded him. Finally, Goldberg starts to stand up, repeating his original claim that his success is a result of his excellent health.

Before they can go back upstairs, Lulu enters to confront Goldberg for taking advantage of her at the party. McCann exits to give them privacy, and the exchange that follows is highly ambiguous, as both Goldberg and Lulu vaguely reference events that occurred offstage since the party: First, Goldberg attempts to flirt playfully, but Lulu rejects him and laments that both her father and her first boyfriend, Eddie, would be disappointed with her. She then alludes to a briefcase; Eddie, she says, would never have come to her room with a briefcase (unlike, presumably, Goldberg). Goldberg reminds Lulu that she was the one who opened this briefcase, asking Lulu to forgive him and “kiss and make up” (80). Lulu rebuffs him, and Goldberg says that he is leaving today. Lulu is even more furious, accusing Goldberg of using her when she was vulnerable. Goldberg insists that she wanted him to do it. McCann returns and comments that she slept a long time, adding, “Your sort, you spend too much time in bed” (80). McCann asks if she has anything to confess, which makes Lulu irate. He demands that she confess on her knees, and Goldberg explains that McCann has “only been unfrocked six months” (81). Lulu announces that she has a “shrewd idea” of what’s going on, but McCann intimidates her, and she leaves.

McCann exits and returns with Stanley, who is well-dressed and freshly shaven. Stanley’s expression is blank, and he is holding his broken glasses. Goldberg promises they’ll buy him a new pair. In rapid-fire speech, Goldberg and McCann describe how terrible he’s been looking and how they’re going to help him and care for him and make him a success. Goldberg and McCann ask Stanley what he thinks, prodding him to respond. Stanley only emits some strangled sounds before his body goes slack. Petey enters and asks where they’re taking Stanley. Goldberg repeats that they’re taking him to Monty. Petey tries to stop them, promising that Stanley can stay where he is and that he and Meg will care for him. But Goldberg refuses and asks in a sinister tone, “Why don’t you come with us, Mr. Boles?” (86). Petey backs down, defeated, but as they leave with Stanley, he says, “Stan, don’t let them tell you what to do!” (86).

The door slams. The car starts and drives away. After a moment, Petey sits at the table and picks up the newspaper. Strips of torn paper fall out and onto the floor. Petey turns to the first page. Meg returns, noting that the car is gone, and Petey affirms that the men have also gone and will not be there for lunch. When Meg asks about Stanley, Petey hesitates for a moment and then tells her that Stanley is sleeping. Meg comments that Stanley will miss breakfast, but Petey urges her to let him sleep. Contentedly, Meg asks, “Wasn’t it a lovely party last night?” (87), and Petey reminds her that he missed it. Meg talks about the wonderful party, the laughter, the dancing and singing, and the games they played. She states, “I was the belle of the ball” (87), affirming proudly that everyone had agreed. Petey replies, “I bet you were, too” (87). Meg says, “Oh, it’s true. I was”—and then, after a pause—“I know I was” (87).