The Gift of Fear: Survival Signals That Protect Us from Violence

Nonfiction | Book | Adult | Published in 1997

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Summary

Background

Chapter Summaries & Analyses

Chapters 1-3

Chapters 4-6

Chapters 7-9

Chapters 10-12

Chapters 13-15

Key Figures

Themes

Index of Terms

Important Quotes

Essay Topics

Tools

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Discussion Questions

Chapters 4-6Chapter Summaries & Analyses

Chapter 4 Summary: “Survival Signals”

de Becker clarifies the seven survival signals of Kelly’s attacker, commonly used to disarm a target. Firstly, Forced Teaming was employed when Kelly’s attacker picked up the cans of cat food that she dropped and insisted they proceed to her apartment to feed her pet. The use of “we,” “us,” and shared interests is a tactic for ingratiating oneself. While not always sinister, this tactic is always used to influence behavior. Secondly, de Becker identifies Charm and Niceness as intentional decisions, not traits. When someone acts “nice,” they also do so to influence behavior, to hide ulterior motives. Thirdly, de Becker describes the sharing of Too Many Details as an attempt to appear trustworthy: “When people are telling the truth, they don’t feel doubted, so they don’t feel the need for additional support in the form of details” (65). Fourthly, when Kelly tried to resist her attacker’s assistance, he engaged in Typecasting—characterizing her as too proud to accept help, to push her to prove him wrong. De Becker advises ignoring typecasting. Fifthly, Loan Sharking comprises offering help to collect a debt. Sixthly, when Kelly remained hesitant to accept help, her attacker employed The Unsolicited Promise—offered in the face of resistance. De Becker considers this a strong signal, as it pushes a target to acknowledge their intuition. Seventhly, the previous six signals reinforce the tactic of Discounting the Word “No.” de Becker instructs the reader to say “no” explicitly and loudly, to disengage with their potential attacker: “declining to hear ‘no’ is a signal that someone is either seeking control or refusing to relinquish it” (70). Kelly’s intuition alerted her as soon as she heard her attacker’s voice, but her and de Becker’s discussion allowed her to understand why her intuition activated.

Chapter 5 Summary: “Imperfect Strangers”

de Becker revisits and expands on the misconception that criminal behavior is unpredictable. Prediction is possible provided that people understand callousness and selfishness as human traits, that individuals who take these traits to extremes are still human; for example, everyone seeks control and connection to some degree. De Becker then describes The Rule of Opposites, an exercise in which one distinguishes between favorable and unfavorable behavior. If one suspects a situation may escalate, he recommends considering Three Possible Outcomes: One of these outcomes will emerge as the most likely because intuition is based on innate analysis. This technique is particularly helpful when dealing with an anonymous tormenter, as intuiting three culprits will often result in one being the tormenter. Overall, de Becker rejects the idea of violent individuals suddenly “snapping,” as behavioral science has proven this false.

Chapter 6 Summary: “High-Stakes Predictions”

When predicting violence, it is a mistake to assume others will behave as one would in a given situation. Anyone’s decision-making can be assessed using four elements known as JACA (Justification, Alternatives, Consequences, and Ability). Firstly, Perceived Justification examines whether or not a person is convinced that they have the right to violate the rights of others. Secondly, Perceived Alternatives examine whether or not this person can conceive a non-violent approach to their goal. Thirdly, Perceived Consequences examine whether or not this person conceives the aftermath of their crime; in a worst-case scenario, the desire for “justice” proves more powerful than potential consequences. Fourthly, Perceived Ability examines whether or not this person believes they are capable of an intended crime and are willing to do so should the opportunity present itself.

Gavin de Becker & Associates use 11 Elements of Prediction to assess the validity and efficacy of their predictions. Firstly, Measurability of Outcomes examines whether or not it is possible to predict if and when a violent act has been carried out. Secondly, Vantage examines whether or not a predictor is in a position to gather the information required for an effective prediction. Thirdly, Imminence is the ability to determine an accurate window of time in which an act may occur. Fourthly, Context is required to accurately predict an evolving situation. Fifthly, PINs (Pre-Incident Indicators, which reveal a pattern leading to a violent act) can further an accurate prediction. Sixthly, a predictor’s related Experience increases the reliability of their prediction. Seventhly, historical data on Comparable Events can predict how a present event may unfold. Eighthly, Objectivity is key because bias can interfere with accurate information. Ninthly, Investment in a positive outcome corelates with dedication to predictive exercises. Tenthly, Replicability of possible outcomes is less useful than previous elements, as all situations are unique. Eleventhly, like Experience, Knowledge related to an evolving situation increases predictability, particularly when a predictor possesses expertise.

Chapters 4-6 Analysis

As de Becker profiles Kelly’s attacker, he explains how the conditions of a given situation either enable or thwart a perpetrator’s goal. Kelly felt intuitive unease as soon as she heard her attacker’s voice, but did not honor it. This hesitance allowed her attacker to trigger seven survival signals meant to disarm a target through feigned kindness and veiled pressure. In Chapter 1, Kelly is introduced as a lone woman carrying groceries and dropping cans of cat food on the way to her apartment; in other words, she is framed as incumbered, and thus vulnerable. Later, in Chapter 4, de Becker extrapolates her experience by identifying her attacker’s manipulation tactics, and with them, the seven survival signals. Overall, his objective is to pinpoint threatening speech. Despite being apprehensive, Kelly ultimately accepted her attacker’s help, convincing him that he could establish control over her—introducing the theme of Doubt and Risk. She succumbed to gender-related pressure, as women are expected to be gracious for offers of help—introducing the theme of Empowering Women. Regardless of a stranger’s—especially a man’s—motives, should they remain in a woman’s vicinity after she has declined attention, they should be considered a potential threat. Women should never feel responsible for a man’s feelings when rejecting advances or unsolicited help, as personal safety should be a priority.

de Becker’s seven survival signals—as well as The Rule of Opposites, Three Possible Outcomes, JACA (Justification, Alternatives, Consequences, and Ability), and eleven Elements of Prediction—allow for more effective collection of data regarding potential threats. In using any of these techniques, he cautions against assuming others share one’s rules and values. He acknowledges individuals who do not fear consequences as the most dangerous threats to one’s safety. They may even look forward to consequences such as notoriety for crimes. With that said, de Becker cites past behavior as the best predictor for future behavior. Overall, the best solution for avoiding danger is preventative, removing oneself from the vicinity of dangerous individuals based on literal and situational data.