The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are

Gratitude and joy are major paired traits that Brown has come across in her research. Everyone in her research pool who was joyful also actively practiced gratitude by speaking or writing about what they were grateful for.

While Brown’s subjects defined happiness as attached to external circumstances, joy is related to spirit and gratitude. Joy can even elicit fear and vulnerability because fully giving in to it means acknowledging that it will not last. We might also superstitiously fear that feeling gratitude and joy might invite their inverse to take place. However, Brown maintains that “the dark does not destroy the light; it defines it. It’s our fear of the dark that casts our joy into the shadows” (109). Indeed, if we do not allow ourselves to be grateful and joyful, we are missing out on two vital ingredients that will help us get through darkness when it inevitably comes.

Brown states that another myth that gets in the way of joy is the fear of scarcity, or believing that we or our lives are not enough. In contrast, a belief in sufficiency and knowing that we are enough are the boons of an ordinary life. According to Brown, a daily practice of active gratitude for ordinary blessings is essential to