Plot Summary
The Happiness Project
Gretchen Rubin
The Happiness Project
Nonfiction | Autobiography / Memoir | Adult | Published in 2009
Plot Summary
The Happiness Project is a non-fiction book by Gretchen Rubin, published in 2009. In the book, Rubin researches the concept of happiness and launches a personal Happiness Project, chronicling her experiences and insights as she goes.
In a brief introduction, Rubin explains that she was inspired to work on the book when she one day realized that her life was so busy and fast-paced she was rushing through it and not appreciating it or truly experiencing it. This led her to question whether she was truly happy—even though her life was objectively ‛good’ in a material sense, with a beautiful home and a loving family, had she consciously chosen all of these aspects of her life, did she truly enjoy them or merely accept them?
Rubin reviews some historical investigations into and attitudes about happiness, then lays out twelve rules for herself to follow during her Happiness Project, including “be Gretchen,” “be polite and fair,” and “no calculation.” She also details some Secrets of Adulthood for herself, including “it’s okay to ask for help,” “if you can’t find something, clean up,” and “don’t let the perfect be the enemy of the good.” She intends these lists to help keep her on the right track as she studies her own happiness. Rubin concludes that she intends to find happiness not by abandoning her life and traveling or starting over, as some others have done, but by finding what she loves about her own life and enhancing it, and what she dislikes about her life and minimizing it.
The bulk of the book is then divided into twelve chapters, one for each month of the year. In each month she has a specific area of her life to focus on.
January: Boost Energy. Rubin’s first goal is to find ways to boost her vitality and her sense of energy, noting that much of modern life serves to leave us constantly tired and exhausted. She examines when she feels the most energized and employs some simple techniques, like keeping her bedroom dark so she can sleep better.
February: Remember Love. Rubin then studies her own marriage and other relationships, noting that she cannot control other people or change them to make her happier. She studies relationships and concludes that part of being happy is a sense of things being right in your personal relationships.
March: Aim Higher. Rubin examines the role of our work in happiness in this chapter, noting that happiness and work are tightly connected. Change and new experiences are key factors as they are energizing whereas a routine is numbing and makes you unhappy. Challenge is the key.
April: Lighten Up. Rubin examines her parenting and her relationship with her children. Children make her happy, she realizes, and she also realizes that moods are infectious—when she is with someone happy, she becomes happy herself. She also realizes that if you deny bad feelings they become more powerful.
May: Be Serious About Play. Rubin investigates the vital role of leisure in this chapter, and notes that people who take time off and enjoy themselves are always happier than those who work constantly. She also pursues strategies to be more in the moment, like carrying a camera with her so she’s always paying attention.
June: Make Time for Friends. Rubin investigates the role of friendship in your happiness. She realizes that friendship takes work, but is mostly about making time and “showing up.” Relationships are key, and the more time you spend with people the more positive aspects of them you’ll see.
July: Buy Some Happiness. Rubin thinks about money and its role in happiness. While you can’t buy happiness, she concludes, you need to feel secure. Money buys time, which can be used frivolously or purposefully. Her research teaches her that ambition is more satisfying than success; when you achieve your goals the joy is fleeting, but the sense of daily accomplishment is powerful.
August: Contemplate the Heavens. Rubin considers her own mortality and her place in eternity. Gratitude is an important aspect of happiness, she realizes, as is perspective. A big lesson is that “the days are long but the years are short.”
September: Pursue a Passion. Rubin notes that a big aspect of happiness is having a true passion and pursuing that passion, making time for it. Her passion is books and reading. One great thing about a passion is that there are no goals or winning, simply enjoyment.
October: Pay Attention. Rubin seeks to be more mindful and “in the moment,” pursuing different strategies like Laughter Yoga and simple strategies like making certain she gets some work done every day, no matter what.
November: Keep a Contented Heart. Having realized that you are happy if you think you’re happy, Rubin explores the role of your own attitude on your level of happiness. Part of this is resisting the natural human urge to react more towards negativity than positivity.
December: Boot Camp Perfect. In the final chapter, Rubin reviews what she’s learned. She concludes that happiness is all about knowing yourself and being true to yourself instead of following someone else’s rules. Every Happiness Project will be unique.
Rubin ends the book with an overview of some things that happened in her life as a direct result of her Happiness Project, followed by a short guide to beginning your own Happiness Project, along with lists of tips for getting started and staying focused.
In a brief introduction, Rubin explains that she was inspired to work on the book when she one day realized that her life was so busy and fast-paced she was rushing through it and not appreciating it or truly experiencing it. This led her to question whether she was truly happy—even though her life was objectively ‛good’ in a material sense, with a beautiful home and a loving family, had she consciously chosen all of these aspects of her life, did she truly enjoy them or merely accept them?
Rubin reviews some historical investigations into and attitudes about happiness, then lays out twelve rules for herself to follow during her Happiness Project, including “be Gretchen,” “be polite and fair,” and “no calculation.” She also details some Secrets of Adulthood for herself, including “it’s okay to ask for help,” “if you can’t find something, clean up,” and “don’t let the perfect be the enemy of the good.” She intends these lists to help keep her on the right track as she studies her own happiness. Rubin concludes that she intends to find happiness not by abandoning her life and traveling or starting over, as some others have done, but by finding what she loves about her own life and enhancing it, and what she dislikes about her life and minimizing it.
The bulk of the book is then divided into twelve chapters, one for each month of the year. In each month she has a specific area of her life to focus on.
January: Boost Energy. Rubin’s first goal is to find ways to boost her vitality and her sense of energy, noting that much of modern life serves to leave us constantly tired and exhausted. She examines when she feels the most energized and employs some simple techniques, like keeping her bedroom dark so she can sleep better.
February: Remember Love. Rubin then studies her own marriage and other relationships, noting that she cannot control other people or change them to make her happier. She studies relationships and concludes that part of being happy is a sense of things being right in your personal relationships.
March: Aim Higher. Rubin examines the role of our work in happiness in this chapter, noting that happiness and work are tightly connected. Change and new experiences are key factors as they are energizing whereas a routine is numbing and makes you unhappy. Challenge is the key.
April: Lighten Up. Rubin examines her parenting and her relationship with her children. Children make her happy, she realizes, and she also realizes that moods are infectious—when she is with someone happy, she becomes happy herself. She also realizes that if you deny bad feelings they become more powerful.
May: Be Serious About Play. Rubin investigates the vital role of leisure in this chapter, and notes that people who take time off and enjoy themselves are always happier than those who work constantly. She also pursues strategies to be more in the moment, like carrying a camera with her so she’s always paying attention.
June: Make Time for Friends. Rubin investigates the role of friendship in your happiness. She realizes that friendship takes work, but is mostly about making time and “showing up.” Relationships are key, and the more time you spend with people the more positive aspects of them you’ll see.
July: Buy Some Happiness. Rubin thinks about money and its role in happiness. While you can’t buy happiness, she concludes, you need to feel secure. Money buys time, which can be used frivolously or purposefully. Her research teaches her that ambition is more satisfying than success; when you achieve your goals the joy is fleeting, but the sense of daily accomplishment is powerful.
August: Contemplate the Heavens. Rubin considers her own mortality and her place in eternity. Gratitude is an important aspect of happiness, she realizes, as is perspective. A big lesson is that “the days are long but the years are short.”
September: Pursue a Passion. Rubin notes that a big aspect of happiness is having a true passion and pursuing that passion, making time for it. Her passion is books and reading. One great thing about a passion is that there are no goals or winning, simply enjoyment.
October: Pay Attention. Rubin seeks to be more mindful and “in the moment,” pursuing different strategies like Laughter Yoga and simple strategies like making certain she gets some work done every day, no matter what.
November: Keep a Contented Heart. Having realized that you are happy if you think you’re happy, Rubin explores the role of your own attitude on your level of happiness. Part of this is resisting the natural human urge to react more towards negativity than positivity.
December: Boot Camp Perfect. In the final chapter, Rubin reviews what she’s learned. She concludes that happiness is all about knowing yourself and being true to yourself instead of following someone else’s rules. Every Happiness Project will be unique.
Rubin ends the book with an overview of some things that happened in her life as a direct result of her Happiness Project, followed by a short guide to beginning your own Happiness Project, along with lists of tips for getting started and staying focused.