The Husband's Secret

Rachel watches the Easter hat parade with Samantha, a school mum and part-time school bookkeeper. Rachel watches Connor, dressed in his baby’s bonnet, goof around with some of the older boys. Samantha says that Connor is in a very good mood today and wonders if it means he’s “finally gotten himself a woman” (301), a comment she explains by revealing that her friend, Janet, briefly dated Connor. Janet described Connor as “like a depressed person pretending not to be depressed” (301).

Samantha also reveals that Connor’s mother was an alcoholic who neglected her children. Rachel vaguely remembers the Whitby family coming to church sometimes, the children dirty, the mother scolding them loudly during the service. Samantha says that a childhood like that must have an impact on someone; Rachel agrees vehemently. Samantha says she saw Connor this morning and that he was “on top of the world” (302). This angers Rachel: “Tomorrow was the anniversary of Janie’s death, and Connor Whitby was feeling on top of the world” (302).

Cecilia leaves the parade early, before the judging. She reflects on her previous life and how she asked the judges not to award Esther and Polly any winning positions in an attempt to avoid the appearance of favoritism for the Fitzpatricks. She thinks, too, that she will not run for P&F President again next year. P&F is an Australian organization called “Parents & Friends” that is similar to the American PTA. Cecilia thinks that running again is impossible, as, “She was no longer Cecilia Fitzpatrick. She’d ceased to exist the moment she read that letter” (303). 

As she leaves, she’s stopped by Samantha, who calls out to her from the balcony. Samantha asks about her slightly delayed Tupperware order, and Cecilia offers to drop it off the same day. She then offers to deliver Rachel’s as well, earlier than planned, and even to bring her something for free to hold the pavlova Rachel intends to prepare and take to Lauren’s parents’ house on Easter. Cecilia has no idea why she’s offered to do this, especially since she can’t bring herself to look Rachel in the eyes. She thinks, “it’s okay, John-Paul. I gave your murder victim’s mother some free Tupperware, so everything is all squared up” (305). To escape, she calls that she’ll see them both in the afternoon, “waving her keys so energetically that they flew from her hand” (305).

Liam wins second prize in the Easter hat parade. Lucy makes a comment about sleeping with one of the judges, but Tess resists—she doesn’t want to think about Liam and Connor in the same context. For a moment, she forgets that they won’t see Will that afternoon as usual. She thinks, suddenly, that it’s “hopeless to try to save the marriage for Liam’s sake” (307). Instead, she’ll have to accept that it’s over and proceed with dignity through an amicable divorce that’s been in the cards for years. She wonders if it actually has been in the cards for years. She tries to remember their last fight—it was over Liam and whether or not he needed to change schools. Seeing Liam’s happiness now, she realizes Will was right and Liam did need to change schools.

Desperate to avoid slipping into the grief and sadness that threaten to overwhelm her, she retreats into thinking about her lust for Connor: “Do not think about Will. Think about Connor. Think about sex. Think wicked, earthy, primal thoughts” (309). She grapples with her shame, wondering:

Or was she actually ashamed about last night? Because she’d found a selfish way to make the pain disappear? Because right now she was longing to see Connor again—or, more specifically, to sleep with him again, to have his tongue, his body, his hands obliterate the memory of Will and Felicity sitting on either side of her, telling her their horrible secret? [...] He was fucking her, but really he was fucking them (309). 

Trudy wishes Rachel a happy Easter and gives her a “charming little basket filled with a variety of delicious and expensive-looking eggs” (311). It reminds Rachel of the kind of thing Lauren would get. Rachel hasn’t gotten Trudy a gift, but Trudy waves it off. When asked what she’ll do over the break, Trudy says that she’ll read—she reads a lot, she says, mainly whodunits, because she enjoys guessing who the murderer is. Catching herself, she flushes and tears up. Rachel tries to smooth it over by saying she quite enjoys historical fiction, but when Trudy can’t recover on her own, Rachel assures her that she’s not upset.

Connor calls Tess while she’s grocery shopping for her mother. He says that he doesn’t have any expectations, but that he had a great time last night. Liam worriedly asks if it’s his dad on the phone, but Tess lies and says it's a client. She asks Connor what he’s doing that night, and they arrange for her to come over again once Liam is asleep.

Rachel is walking to her car and sees Connor as he gets off the phone with Tess. He looks happy, as though he’s just gotten unexpectedly good news. When he sees her, his face falls, and she thinks, “Guilty, guilty, guilty.”

When Tess arrives home, there’s a package waiting for her. It’s a compass that her father has bought her as a gift. His note says it’s probably a silly gift, but that he “was trying to think of something that would help when you’re feeling lost” (316). Tess reflects on her father’s shyness and her mother’s complaints about him. She thinks he must also have social anxiety. She loves the gift.

Cecilia goes to Rachel’s house to drop off her Tupperware order. Rachel invites her in for tea, and Cecilia struggles with the competing needs to conceal and confess. Rachel talks about Janie, saying that tomorrow is the 28th anniversary of Janie’s death. She says she’s been thinking about Janie more lately and wonders if she’d think about her this much if she’d lived—she doesn’t think about her son Rob quite that much. She rushes to assure Cecilia that she does love her son, but she just doesn’t worry—she only worries about something happening to Jacob. She feels as though Rob belongs to Lauren now. Rachel says that she’s found new evidence that proves who Janie’s killer is.