The Lager Queen of Minnesota

The third-person narrator follows the perspective of teenage Diana in 2007. Incredibly smart and talented, Diana keeps mostly to herself after her parents’ tragic death. She lives with Edith, works in a coffee shop, and steals valuables from wealthy people. Her cousin and closest friend, Clarissa Johnson, helps Diana sell the stolen materials online for cash. Diana uses this money plus what she makes at the coffee shop to help Edith make ends meet. Even though Diana is intelligent, she rarely completes her homework due to her work and theft schedule outside of school. Diana tries to save enough money to retrieve Edith’s car from an impound lot and pay for necessary mechanical repairs.

At school, Diana’s principal informs her that she received a perfect score on the PSAT. Diana’s principal expresses profound pride in Diana, explaining that she will likely be eligible for a National Merit Scholarship. He tells Diana she will receive an award at a special luncheon hosted by the mayor. Upon learning that no financial compensation accompanies the award aside from potential scholarship money, Diana informs her principal that she does not want to attend college. This news profoundly disturbs Diana’s principal, and he urges Diana to reconsider. Diana returns to class, where her teacher, Mr. Arden, shares Diana’s accomplishment with her peers. Embarrassed, Diana tries to explain that she does not feel intelligent because she does not know all of the elements on the periodic table. Mr. Arden corrects Diana, telling her that intelligent people are smart because they desire knowledge, not because they possess it.

Diana tries to retrieve Edith’s car from the impound lot after school but learns she is being charged for two days of holding instead of one. She is short by about $50. The attendant also informs Diana that she will need Edith’s signed and notarized authorization form to release the car to Diana. Knowing Edith needs her car to work her second job at Arby’s, Diana realizes she must commit more theft. She returns home to Edith’s apartment. Diana sleeps in the only bedroom while Edith sleeps on the pull-out couch in the living room, making Diana feel pressured to earn her keep. She prefers keeping busy, feeling overwhelmed with grief whenever she is idle. Diana is nearly caught stealing power tools from a woman’s garage the following morning.

Diana meets Paul Jeffrey when her high school organizes a photo shoot of the top three PSAT scorers. When Diana tells him she did not prepare for the PSAT and does not remember taking the test, Paul is impressed. He does not understand why Diana has no college ambition. Later, Diana retrieves Edith’s car from the impound lot before working at the coffee shop. Paul visits her while she works, and Diana realizes she is attracted to him. Paul inquires again about why Diana is not interested in attending college. Diana mentions supporting her family but quickly intuits that Paul will not understand her predicament. Paul leaves, and Diana regrets pushing him away. Listening to one of Colleen’s favorite musicians, Diana tries and fails to remember her mother’s singing voice. She becomes frustrated and throws a wet sponge at the coffee shop’s record player.

Paul invites Diana to lunch off campus at Chipotle with his friends James and Astra. Diana realizes she has much in common with Paul and his friends when discussing books and movies. Paul asks Diana to join them again the following day, and Diana worries about the cost of lunch detracting from her and Edith’s bills. She decides to go anyway but feels disconnected from and insulted by the others when they dismiss people who receive SNAP (Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program) benefits as fraudulent and undeserving. Diana and Edith receive SNAP benefits.

Later, Diana purchases her neighbor’s laptop for $70, thinking she can sell her stolen materials without splitting the profits with Clarissa. She learns that the repairs to Edith’s car will cost $1,300. Diana also realizes she spent nearly $100 in off-campus lunch expenses with Paul. Diana spends time with Clarissa, and they decide to discontinue their illegal activities. Diana believes she and Edith can make ends meet since Edith’s car is now repaired. Clarissa tells Diana she likes Paul but that she should insist he foot the bill for their meals out.

While walking to the PSAT luncheon, Diana happens upon Frank Schabert, who needs assistance with his garage door. Diana helps, noticing several hundred dollars’ worth of equipment in his garage.

The narrative jumps to 1965, following Helen as she finishes her final exams during her junior year in college. Edith calls Helen, informing her that their mother died unexpectedly. This news shocks Helen, and she feels further disturbed when Edith asks Helen to speak at their mother’s funeral. Helen recalls a time when her mother refused to allow Helen to enter a pie-baking contest because Edith had already planned on entering. Edith used Helen’s blackberries and crust to make her pie. She cut her ribbon in half when she won second place, sharing it with Helen. Helen realized she would never do the same for Edith, also accepting that her mother did not recognize or respect Helen’s ambition for greatness.

Edith moves her family in with her father, helping with the family farm as Edith’s father adjusts to becoming a widower. The move strains Edith, who struggles to care for so many people while learning to manage a decent-sized farm. Edith calls Helen, sharing that Stanley was offered an excellent job as a delivery driver in New Stockholm, a few hours away from the family farm. After Helen graduates college and marries Orval, she relieves Edith from caring for their father.

Without telling Edith, Helen proposes to her father that he bequeath his entire estate to Helen after his passing. She and Orval explain their business plan and promise to pay Edith her share of the inheritance once the brewery is operational and successful. Helen’s father believes his daughter and son-in-law can make decent beer. He sees his family farm as his legacy, and he understands neither of his daughters will continue to maintain the farm after his death. He sees Helen’s brewery plan as a potential way for his legacy to live beyond the family farm.

Helen’s father dies less than a year after Helen moves in with him. His health deteriorates rapidly in the months before his death, and he requires much care. Helen learns she will receive the entire inheritance upon her father’s passing, and she writes a letter to Edith to explain the situation. Edith stops speaking with Helen entirely, and Helen makes no attempts to see or talk with her. Blotz Brewing opens at a time when beer is declining in popularity and major beer production companies like Miller and Coors are acquiring smaller operations. Helen and Orval’s first few years are unsuccessful. Inspired by Miller Lite, Helen brews a lower-calorie beer that lacks flavor but can be easily advertised to a more health-conscious crowd.

Helen and Orval meet with their advertising team to discuss the new light beer. They come up with the slogan “Drink lots, it’s Blotz” (149). Helen and Orval want to capitalize on beer drinkers feeling encouraged to binge-drink their beverage due to the low alcohol and calorie content. Their team hires a football player who almost made the Minnesota Vikings to film a commercial about drinking lots of Blotz for comfort after being cut from the practice team. The commercial is a success, and Blotz beer grows in popularity.

Blotz Special Light beer allows Helen and Orval to expand their business, and Helen begins considering how they can diversify. Even though she heads the company, invents the beer recipes, and is primarily responsible for the company’s success, male employees still mistake her for a secretary, asking her for coffee. Because beer brewing is male-dominated, Helen never serves as a public figure for the company. Instead, Orval receives recognition and credit for their success. Helen feels okay about this arrangement at the time, as she dislikes media attention and feels public attention incites vanity. She hires Agatha Johnston as a director of quality, and the hardworking women become close friends. Decades later, Helen wonders how she might have influenced the women in the brewing industry had she insisted on being the face of the company.