The Last Housewife

“Because every time I saw two people, I saw a scale, tipping this way and that. And the scale had been tipped toward Cal for a long time. Oh, he would deny it, but now he held the purse strings; now every big decision was ultimately his. It had been six months of checked charges, of attending fancy Highland Park parties on his arm, of insipid gossip and aching loneliness, of staring at the blinking cursor on my laptop’s blank screen.”

Shay’s perception of relationships as hierarchical, with one person in control and the other submitting to that control, reflects the gender roles explored in the text. Prior to quitting her job, Shay felt she had subverted this dynamic, with both her and Cal bringing in the financial security each of them needed; however, now that they are both dependent on Cal, Shay feels that she has lost control of herself and her life. Her speculation that Cal would deny this dynamic characterizes Cal as less introspective than Shay and suggests that he may be using money to control her.

“Dorsey’s face was bright-red now; his stubby lashes blinked quickly. ‘I read Laurel’s file, so yes, I’m aware I was her intake officer. But no, I don’t happen to remember her. Do you know how many sobbing women cycle through this place?’ The chief stood and gripped the edge of his desk, forearms flexing. ‘Telling their pitiful stories, reeking of booze. Oh, he hurt me. Oh, he kissed me when I didn’t want him to. Meanwhile they’re standing there in a dress that barely covers their ass after spending all night pounding beers and flirting and doing God knows what else. And they have the nerve to ask why it keeps happening to them.’”

This passage, as well as the flashback showing Laurel’s initial intake with Dorsey, shows the common social perception of sexual assault survivors. Dorsey essentially argues that women would not be sexually assaulted if they did not go outside at all. Dorsey’s mocking tone in imitation of survivors like Laurel serves to underpin the social structure surrounding sexual assault

“Linda walked through the hall into the bedroom, and Jamie and I followed. ‘Sometimes I’d find her in the backyard, just standing there, staring at nothing.’ She pointed through the sliding glass doors at the back of Laurel’s bedroom. They looked out into a small backyard, with a single tree and a tall fence. ‘When I tried talking to her, she wouldn’t say a word. Didn’t even register my presence. Like she was catatonic or something.’ I stared into the yard. Laurel had done that once before in college, when she was very sad. It had taken a few days to shake her out of it.”

Though Shay uses the more common term “sad” to describe Laurel’s catatonic periods, this passage hints at a more serious mental health challenge in Laurel’s life. Catatonic depression is a subtype of depression, which is characterized by the kinds of behavior Laurel displays, such as appearing as though she is in a trance, being unresponsive to others, and exhibiting fixed movements or a lack of movement or speech. “Sad” is not synonymous with depression, and this passage highlights how Shay may not be equipped with the knowledge of Laurel’s condition that would be needed to form a full picture of her frame of mind.

“He turned to me. ‘Is there somewhere private we can keep talking?’ The air grew charged. The awareness tickled the soft hairs of my arms into standing. ‘You can come to my room, if you want.’ I kept my eyes straight ahead, on the River Estate’s stone entranceway. ‘Okay,’ he said lightly. ‘That’ll work.’ He was so impressed with my room that I expected to feel embarrassed. But to my surprise, I felt nothing but pleasure at his reaction. I suspected some part of me had always longed to show off to him, to confirm his high estimation of me.”

The act of allowing a man into her space is significant for Shay, considering the implications discussed previously in the novel. One component of this interaction is Jamie’s “light” response, which indicates that he does not appreciate the significance of Shay inviting him into her room. Though the “pleasure” Shay feels in showing Jamie her wealth, as expressed in the quality of the room, is temporary, her comfort and desire to “show off” indicate that Shay trusts Jamie in a way that she may not trust other men.

“SHAY: I couldn’t stop staring at myself. I tucked my hair and I swear, I looked like a man. I remember getting goose bumps, imagining walking outside, no one watching me or making comments. I could be invisible. I could even walk around at night. Imagine not being scared all the time. You could travel the world in a three-piece suit.

JAMIE: Are you really scared all the time?

SHAY: I’ll say this: when I’m outside, there’s always a hum in the back of my mind. A little thread of anticipation. I think most girls are the same. (Throat clearing) You know, I can’t believe I’m telling you all of this.”

Shay’s perception of masculinity as a kind of passport, allowing entry into almost any sphere of society, opens a discussion of gender and the perception of gender. Shay is acutely aware of herself as a woman, while Jamie is hardly aware of himself as a man. For men in society, as Shay notes, there is no need for perpetual awareness of potential threats, as men are much less likely to experience assault, especially sexual assault. As a woman, Shay understands the “anticipation” of a potential threats and the anxiety that accompanies that awareness. Her perception that “most girls” feel the same way may be true, but prior indications that Shay has experienced an assault may contribute to her heightened awareness of danger.

“One day the professor told Laurel that she was setting women back a hundred years by being so meek. Clem’s soccer coach made fun of her for reading a romance novel she saw in her duffel bag and said something like, ‘What’s that fluff? I thought Whitney was for smart girls.’ And I’d always known, since the day I showed up on campus, that I couldn’t tell anyone at Whitney I’d been in pageants. There were so many things you weren’t allowed to do if you wanted to be the right kind of girl. Being a woman at Whitney came with as many rules as being a woman in East Texas.”

Part of how Don convinces the women that they should submit to him is by emphasizing this aspect of the modern perception of gender roles. On one hand, traditionally feminine traits are ridiculed because they reflect the indoctrination of a patriarchal society, but, on the other, they are traits that many people relate to. Don’s conception of masculinity is toxic, but the social enforcement of progressive values can also be alienating to some people. Shay, Laurel, and Clem each identify with values of equality and progress, but they end up conceding to Don’s perspective because of these alienating moments.

“Out of nowhere, Don stopped laughing and said, ‘Rachel,’ in this really low, commanding voice. He nodded in the direction of the kitchen. Rachel put her wineglass down and went immediately. We stopped and watched her put on an apron and start pulling things out of the fridge. Our jaws literally dropped. First of all, we had never, ever seen Rachel cook. Second, and most important, we’d never witnessed her obey anyone. Bit there she was, standing in a frilly apron at the drop of a hat. It was surreal.”

The change in Rachel’s character around Don, as well as the revelation of Don’s desire to command and be obeyed, are shocking, but the process of indoctrination that Don takes, manipulating the women slowly over multiple meetings, shows his calculated nature. This passage gives insight into both Don’s perception of himself and Rachel’s life. Though the women spend a couple of years with Don, Rachel grew up in this environment, and her willingness to immediately obey her father foreshadows her later sadism and violence. Shay’s focus is on her own trauma, as well as Laurel and Clem’s, but Rachel, too, is hurt by Don’s manipulation and violence.

“‘What if you’re a woman,’ I said, feeling each word like fire in my throat, ‘and the world teaches you who you are, and where your place is, from the moment you’re born, but all along, it’s a lie. What if the lie chains you every day? If you’re not thinking straight any minute of your life, and even your defiance, even your pleasure, is suspect?’ I pressed my palm against the cold glass. ‘How does consent work then? What makes you want the things you want? Is it your choice or were you molded?’”

In this conversation with Jamie, Shay complicates the discussion of consent. If society conditions everyone to behave in certain ways, wanting certain things and relationships, she argues, then there is no legitimate conception of consent; there are only socially dictated desires and actions. Shay is acknowledging that, in situations like the violent sex acts of the Sparrow and Fox Lane, the people involved have likely consented to the situation, but their consent is suspect. Shay questions whether the desire for pain is legitimate or the result of social conditioning.

“Don said the truth was, men and women were wired differently, and there was no greater power than knowing your true purpose. Accepting your ontological limits was the highest form of freedom. He talked like that, like our professors. I think it made it easier to believe him, because he sounded familiar and confident. I started to think maybe there was a reason for everything that happened to me before college. What if my whole life, I’d been trying to be something I simply couldn’t? Maybe if I accepted my limits, I would be happier. I can still hear those dead men whispering in my dreams.”

Early in Don’s discussions on gender, he emphasizes difference as a strength, which is a common rhetorical element in arguments for diversity and inclusion. However, Don perverts this rhetoric, using it as a way to convince the women that they are designed by nature to submit to a powerful man. As in many cult scenarios, Don preys on Shay, Laurel, and Clem’s feelings of dissatisfaction and confusion and exploits their desire for love and attention.

“The truth is, for long periods, things were normal. We were living in the suburbs, in a beautiful house, ten minutes from school—still going to school—a few blocks from a fucking Walgreens. The lines were blurry, and when you’re in the moment, all you can see is the context, the justifications.”

Shay notes that most of her time with Don was normal, relatively speaking, as the moments of violence or trauma were only occasional. She notes the closeness of a pharmacy to show how close to regular life they were at Don’s home. Although they were not physically isolated, they were psychologically isolated from the rest of society. Don told them that no one would understand their situation, and so they felt divorced from everyone else. The “blurry” lines Shay references are the lines between normal and abnormal, healthy and toxic, which become increasingly difficult to see as she settles into life with Don.

“I got scared. Maybe Don wasn’t perfect, but what if everything he told us was true, and life away from him was terrifying and unfulfilling? What if we could never come back to him, or from the things we’d done, and we were trapped in purgatory? I was a coward. So when Laurel said, ‘If you say one more word about this, I’ll tell Don,’ I fell in line. There was this moment of possibility, then the conditioning snapped back in place. I said, ‘No one wants to leave, Clem, so drop it.’ I would five anything for those not to have been our last words.”

Here, though Clem is reaching out in hope of support from her friends, Shay refuses to take her side, as leaving Don’s home would mean a sudden and drastic change to her life. In retrospect, Shay calls herself a coward, but the reality is that her choices were limited by her perception of safety and comfort. Though Don’s home is not always a “good” place to be, she fears the dangers that Don claims lay outside his home. Laurel, likely more indoctrinated than Shay at this time, speaks first, but Shay agrees because she fears change more than she fears Don.

“‘Call us traditionalists.’ The Lieutenant’s voice was light, almost lazy. He stuck the iron in the flames and rotated it like a spit. ‘Men and women who believe in the old ways. People come to us when they’re lost, when they can’t understand why they feel alienated and alone. We teach them, give them the meaning they long for, connection without artifice. We’re a refuge. Here, people become their truest selves. All you need to do is to listen to your Paters.’”

Calling on the argument that gender roles are “natural,” the Lieutenant refers to the Pater Society’s “old ways,” though they are largely modern in nature. Crucially, the Lieutenant seems to know that the Pater Society is simply promoting an alternative to the mainstream. As the Lieutenant says, it offers women an environment where they do not need to take responsibility for anything. However, the violence that underpins the society, as expressed in the brand, clearly marks the group as sadistic and rigid, without freedom or comfort.

“But Eve was tempted. The Bible says her tempter was the devil, disguised as a snake, but we know better. We know the Bible is nothing if not allegorical. What does the devil stand for? Selfishness. That’s what drew Eve to pluck the fruit and take her bite. After that, not even the kingdom of God was enough. Nothing ever would be, would it, Paters? We understand the hidden meaning: With knowledge, women corrupt themselves—and us. Women’s selfish desires, their refusal to take their rightful place as God and nature intended, keep us all from the kingdom of heaven.”

Like the Lieutenant, the Marquis uses a rhetorical technique that conflates a modern social construct with a false historical axiom. His interpretation of the biblical Adam and Eve is not an established interpretation, nor does the Bible itself reflect ancient values beyond the common social understandings of early agricultural humanity. However, by mixing an understanding of an “ancient” truth with a rejection of modernity, the Marquis is creating the impression that gender roles are created and sustained by nature, not society. This framework allows the Pater Society to claim that it is morally “good” by aligning itself with “natural values” or “laws.”

“He reached for my hand, but I pulled away. ‘Sure. Tell the girl stuck in a dead-end town, with her back against the wall, not to grasp at a lifeline. You know, your ideas aren’t wrong, Jamie. They’re just really fucking insulated.’”

Jamie, as Shay notes, here, lacks a level of understanding that is needed in an evaluation of social behaviors. By divorcing himself from the society he is analyzing, Jamie concludes that Shay is a victim in every aspect of her existence, which is ultimately offensive to both women and femininity, as it implies a lack of autonomy or control over themselves and their desires. As Shay explains, options may be limited for women, but that does not mean that women lack an understanding of their own lives and choices.

“But she’d been dating him for a year—a whole year of escalation and excuses. She stood there in the living room, looking at me with tears in her eyes, and I could’ve comforted her. I could’ve done what she’d never done for me and reversed the cycle. But instead, I said, ‘I told you a million times to break up with him.’ She started crying. She lifted her arms, like I would hug her, but all I felt was this…repulsion. I said, ‘You work at a domestic violence shelter, Mom. How could you let this happen?’ She said, ‘It doesn’t mean he doesn’t love me. He just—’ That’s when I charged her and said, ‘Tell me you’re not making excuses for him. I knew you were weak, but I didn’t realize you were actually pathetic.’”

Shay’s implication that Nina’s job at a women’s shelter should prevent her from experiencing domestic violence herself is a view that lacks nuance. As Shay notes, the violent aspect of Nina’s relationship with Mr. Trevors did not arise until the relationship had already been established and developed. Part of Nina worries that she cannot be loved, or is not worthy of love, and the violence of the abuse seems to confirm that. Shay’s insults further reinforce her mother’s anxiety, perpetuating the “cycle” of misogyny.

“SHAY: Can’t it be true that we both used each other?

JAMIE: I thought you wanted to hear the objective version of your story.

SHAY: Listen. Every boy I kissed from that moment on was proof that I was valuable. It was all a test, a conversation I was having with myself through other people. I used to walk into rooms and feel out of place, instantly an outsider. But that year, I started walking in and taking stock. Grocery stores, house parties, the restaurant. Everywhere I went, I was hunting. The tables were turned.

JAMIE: You’re literally glowing right now.

SHAY: I think I’ve been chasing that high ever since.”

Though Jamie considers his view of Shay’s life as the “objective version,” he forgets that he, too, is embedded within patriarchal society. Shay’s view, that she is “hunting” men and proving her value within patriarchal society, is as valid as Jamie’s view that men are using Shay. Jamie’s discomfort with Shay’s ambition reveals his own misogyny.

“She laughed, and it wasn’t a nice sound. ‘Life’s going to stomp you no matter what. Wouldn’t you rather get stomped here, in a mansion, surrounded by champagne and hors d’oeuvres? If they’re going to own you one way or the other, why not enjoy it? Lean in, Shay. Look at me, in this Gucci dress. These bruises? They’re Gucci bruises. It’s the VIP option, trust me. All the other options are this, but worse.’”

Nicole, like Shay, sees society as inevitably biased against women. Nicole does not see a way out of being “owned” in one way or another, so she has chosen the most direct, albeit violent, method to achieve some standing within a system she can’t change. If she were to leave the society, she would be “stomped” by the patriarchal structures of regular life.

“SHAY: Everyone loved him.

JAMIE: Mmm.

SHAY: What?

JAMIE: Not everyone.

SHAY: You?

JAMIE: I saw him in places you didn’t. In locker rooms, out on the field when we played soccer, at parties, when it was just guys in the room. I didn’t like who he was when he thought no one was watching.”

This passage from Jamie and Shay’s interview shows how both characters have blind spots in their understanding of gender roles and social behaviors. From Shay’s perspective, Anderson was universally loved and trustworthy, but that is the result of taking his gendered performance at face value. Jamie, having seen the homosocial side of Anderson’s masculine performance, knows that he is a likely predator. The novel implies that many men act like the Paters when they feel it is safe to do so.

“In a way, I did destroy it. That day, locked in my room, I went online, withdrew from UT, and accepted the offer at Whitney. Changed the course of my life, just like that. Want to know why? Because one night, sophomore year, when he saw me looking at college brochures, Mr. Trevors said Whitney was a school for feminazis. A throwaway comment, but I never stopped thinking about it. And suddenly, all I wanted was to be the kind of woman he would hate.”

This passage recalls Shay’s notion of the double-sided concept of social conditioning. On one hand, social conditioning may lead people to behave in predictably normative ways, but, on the other, some people may behave in the exact opposite manner, simply to contradict social convention. In this passage, Shay explains how her decision to go to Whitney was the latter, a decision derived from wanting to do the opposite of what was expected. The question, then, is whether either option shows true agency and control, or if each is simply a different way of conforming to the social expectations.

“I did see it from Cal’s perspective. It wasn’t his fault I’d confused safety with love, that what I’d wanted out of marrying him was a place to hide, and then I’d decided that wasn’t good enough. He hadn’t reacted well, and that was revealing, but to him it must have seemed like I’d lost my mind. I pictured him telling his friends about me, the Highland Parkers, and I imagined their incredulous faces, could hear them saying, in shocked voices, She’s insane. Maybe I was, in his version of the story. I finally felt secure enough in mine that I was okay with letting him have it.”

In a moment of reflection, Shay takes Cal’s perspective on their failed relationship. Granted, she understands that his reaction to her trip to New York—removing her access to funds and threatening her with the prenuptial agreement—are warning signs of misogyny and manipulation, but, in the broader narrative, Cal likely feels betrayed by Shay. He was a necessary component of Shay’s search for her own identity and purpose, and now Shay no longer needs him.

“The day Clem died, and you wanted to leave him, I panicked and reverted to old habits: doing what you wanted. It wasn’t until that night, lying next to you in Rothschild with our doors and windows locked, that I even realized I’d made a mistake. I’d never wanted to leave Don. I’d said that to you and Clem a million times, but neither of you ever listened. But there I was, with you instead of him. Choosing you on reflex out of some sense of guilt.”

In Laurel’s mind, there is no chance of pure self-control and self-determination. She sees Shay and Don as potential leaders, and she feels that she needs a leader to make decisions for her. Between them, she chooses Don, phrasing her relationship with him as a marriage. Shay and Clem both thought that Laurel was weak, and they tried to mold her into a stronger woman, more like themselves, but Laurel prefers Don because she does not have to go through that period of development. Ironically, her choice to stay with Don has led her to take more control over herself than she had in the past, and, from her perspective, Shay and Clem are the manipulative people who tried to brainwash her.

“Where to turn for help when everyone was a suspect? I thought back to freshman year, the way the police station had grown silent and tense, all those faces turning to us as Dorsey chewed us out. I thought of the tribunal waiting for me in the high school principal’s office: Ruskin, the guidance counselor, even the superintendent. My life with Cal, day after day: the way he’d laughed with all his friends as they talked about board meetings and golf scores, while the rest of us, the carbon-copy wives, watched them, making out small lives in the margins of theirs. The Paters had always been everywhere.”

Although Shay and Jamie are finding out that the Paters are literally everywhere—the governor’s office, the police department, and so on—Shay is also recognizing how the Pater Society, as a representation of abusive masculinity, has always been everywhere. The other police officers, the superintendent, and Cal’s friends are all indoctrinated with the values of a patriarchal society, which dismisses women and their concerns.

“Home—that’s what I’d thought the moment I saw him. The same word from his moth jarred me. Had it been my own thought, or was it one he’d given me years ag, repeated until I couldn’t tell the difference? Whose dark voice was in my head—the one that whispered things that made me feel irredeemable—was it mine, or his? No, I hadn’t escaped Don. Not when I carried him inside me everywhere I went. He leaned in to kiss me again, but I turned my head.”

Shay questions her internal monologue, as she notes Don using the same phrasing as the “dark voice” in her head. While Shay is realizing the extent to which she may be traumatized or brainwashed by Don and the elements of society that Don represents, in this moment, Shay breaks free by turning her head. By making Shay feel unimportant or immoral, Don has convinced her that she cannot live without him. In turning her head, she is returning to herself and rejecting Don’s influence.