The Last Kids on Earth and the Zombie Parade

Everyone is confused to find Thrull here since Bardle was the one acting suspiciously when they talked about the shrieking. June notices that Alfred is about to be eaten by the tree and Jack sneaks off to save him. Alfred tries to bite Jack, but he is wearing chainmail gloves designed by Quint.

Hidden in the trees nearby, Jack hears Thrull speak to the tree. Thrull tells the tree he planted it weeks ago, and now that it has fed on enough zombies and grown full, it will be the door that brings Rezzoch into this world. The two large branches near the top of the tree split open and a strange, glimmering window opens between them. Jack sees an inhuman face appear in the window and realizes it is Rezzoch.

Thrull tells Rezzoch he is his servant, and that he has used a group of human children to complete a bestiary filled with magical energy that will be used as a key to open the door between worlds. Rezzoch claims to be very hungry, and Thrull responds that he has collected a group of monsters who have no idea they are ready to be eaten. With that, the window closes and the tree snaps back together.

As Thrull limps away, Jack realizes that he used him and his friends. After sustaining his injury, Thrull could no longer complete the bestiary on his own.

The group is terrified that if they don’t act quickly the entire world will be destroyed, and immediately attempt to destroy the bestiary once they’re back at the tree house. Jack attempts to rip pages out, Dirk punches it, and they all blast it with weapons Quint has created. Nothing works, and they accept that it must be a “Lord of the Rings thing” (206), meaning the book is indestructible. The only other solution Jack can think of is that they will have to destroy the tree instead.

June questions how they will destroy a monster tree when they can’t even destroy a small book. After a few moments of doubt, Jack looks out over the garden and is struck with inspiration. He suggests that they could kill the tree using an “industrial-sized, metric mass load” of weed killer (209). The only problem is that this will require them returning to Lowes, which is attached to the mall, home of Wormungulous. Quint explains that he has tried to formulate a plan that would allow them to safely reenter the mall but cannot conceive of any way that doesn’t result in their deaths. Once again, Jack gets an idea: He plans to use himself as bait, protected by Alfred’s cage.

On the way to the mall, Jack explains his plan. He’s going to get inside Alfred’s cage in the middle of the food court until the Wormungulous senses him. While the Wormungulous is distracted, he will radio everyone else, and they can quickly get the supplies they need from Lowe’s. Nobody likes the plan, but Jack points out that it isn’t just about them now; it is about saving the entire planet and all the unsuspecting monsters Thrull has collected at Joe’s Pizza.

At first, the plan doesn’t work as intended and the Wormungulous doesn’t take the bait. After 45 minutes, Jack grows impatient and gets out of the cage. He starts banging the Louisville Slicer on the ground, which does the trick. However, the seismic shifts that accompany the Wormungulous’s underground movement make it hard for Jack to get back into the cage. He eventually manages to scramble into it, but it ends up getting tossed upside down, with the Wormungulous slowly wrapping its body around it. Jack realizes that he is going to be crushed.

While waiting to be crushed, Jack notices that the Wormungulous is moaning and wincing in pain. The long slash mark Jack inflicted on it during their first battle has begun to fester and is causing the creature discomfort up against the cage. Jack feels a pang of guilt because the Wormungulous doesn’t emit the same evil stench as Thrull, the Blarg, or the other evil monsters they’ve encountered.

He considers how the Wormungulous must feel, having been pulled from its home and transported here. He realizes it must be scared and confused, and is not surprised that it attacked them. Jack steps out of the cage and calls to his friends—who have just arrived back at the scene after collecting supplies from Lowe’s—to come and help. Dirk is a capable sewer; he uses a splinter from Jack’s blade as a needle and rope as thread to close the Wormungulous’s wound. The others are worried that the monster could turn on them at any moment, but Jack is confident it won’t. When Dirk is finished, the Wormungulous gracefully dives back underground and leaves them.

Back at the tree house, the group prepares for an assault on the monster tree. Jack heads up into the tree house to get his space marine armor, while Quint and the others use hoses to connect their vats of Weed-B-Gone up to super soakers. Jack watches his friends horsing around below and thinks that he would rather lose himself than his friends.

Once he enters the tree house, Jack is overwhelmed by the stench of evil, and Thrull steps forward out of the darkness. Jack tries to play dumb, but Thrull tells him that Rezzoch saw them and has told him everything. Thrull commands Jack to call his friends to join them, but Jack warns them instead. In anger, Thrull throws Jack through the tree house wall; he only avoids serious injury because he lands in a pile of leaves back on the ground. However, when he regains his senses, he realizes that his friends didn’t listen to his warning and stayed to try to help him. They all try to attack Thrull in turn and fail. Thrull grabs Quint and threatens to kill him if Jack doesn’t reveal the location of the bestiary. Jack acquiesces, and June goes to retrieve the safe box containing the bestiary. Thrull throws all of them except Quint inside Alfred’s cage. He worries Quint is too smart and would figure out a way to escape if he left him. Thrull tells them that he wants them alive to see the end of the world, and then leaves for the Entry Tree with Quint as his prisoner.

Realizing that he has failed his friends, Jack begins to have a panic attack. Dirk is claustrophobic and also begins to panic. June keeps her head and is eventually able to get Jack’s attention. They look at an old photo of them with the monsters in Joe’s Pizza, and June wonders out loud if all the monsters are bad. Jack reasons that since Thrull intends to feed them to Rezzoch, it is unlikely. June shows Rover a picture of Bardle and asks him to go find him. After more than an hour of waiting anxiously, Bardle appears, riding on top of Rover.