The Last Lecture

Nonfiction | Essay / Speech | Adult | Published in 2008

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Section 3, Chapters 16-19Chapter Summaries & Analyses

Section 3: “Adventures…and Lessons Learned”

Section 3, Chapters 16-17 Summary

This section describes Pausch’s early relationship with his wife, Jai. Even though he believed he “was always pretty adept at charging through the brick walls in [his] academic and professional life” (73), the same sort of tenacity didn’t work out as planned with Jai. He was known as a bit of a player who would never settle into monogamy or domesticity. They hit it off, but being in a long-distance relationship turned out to be too difficult, and Pausch asked Jai to move to Pittsburgh so they could be together. At the last minute, Jai backed out, saying she didn’t love Pausch. To Pausch, this apparent rejection felt like hitting a brick wall and not knowing what to do. His parents told him to give Jai the space she wanted and to support her, as they assumed she was very scared. They were right, and because Pausch gave her that space, Jai came around on her own time, and they were married.

Their wedding was small but special. Their wedding-day getaway involved lifting off in a hot air balloon, but several things made it difficult—hitting tree branches, leaving later than scheduled, and shifting wind. Landing the balloon became very dangerous, and it seemed likely they would land too near a train, where the balloon’s envelope would get caught on the speeding train. Although their eventual landing wasn’t smooth, they luckily missed the train.

Section 3, Chapters 18-19 Summary

Chapter 18 tells a humorous story about the time Jai caused a car accident that involved one driver—her—but two cars. To soften her bad news, Jai made a wonderful meal and was extra sweet to Pausch when he got home. However, Pausch wasn’t really concerned about the damage. The cars still worked, and so they continued on with their evening as if nothing had happened. Jai was surprised at Pausch’s nonchalant reaction. The chapter ends with the lesson: “Not everything needs to be fixed” (87).

When Jai was seven months pregnant, there were problems with the placenta that put the baby’s healthy development at risk. On New Year’s Eve, while at the hospital for an emergency C-section, Jai was moving into clinical shock, and Pausch was ordered to keep her as calm as possible. As the surgery took place, Pausch calmly told Jai the truth, describing exactly what was happening. Thankfully, Pausch was not only honest with Jai but also calm, which allowed her to remain calm too, and Dylan’s birth was a success. Despite Dylan’s difficult entrance into the world, he pulled through and grew strong.

Section 3, Chapters 16-19 Analysis

These chapters highlight Pausch’s belief in controlling one’s reaction to things. He could have been furious with Jai about the damage to the cars, and “Jai and [he] could have made things worse (about Dylan’s fearful birth) by falling into pieces” (92). In both situations Pausch remained calm, and this attitude allowed him and Jai to sidestep a potential argument and potential trauma.

Both scenarios are important reminders about the roles people play in determining their own fate. Even when things are terrible and seem beyond your control, Pausch believes and recognizes that “there [are] things we could do that might help the outcome in positive ways” (93). This is yet another demonstration of positive thinking at work in Pausch’s life, and he presents these examples to illustrate how the reader might incorporate a similarly positive perspective into their own life.