The Last of the Really Great Whangdoodles

Later in the afternoon at Savant’s house, Lindy tells the professor about her encounter with Savant’s alleged friend. Savant identifies him as one of Whangdoodleland’s most crucial creatures. He functions like a prime minister, helping the Whangdoodle run the country. To maintain security, he thwarts people from entering the country and trying to see the Whangdoodle.

Now that the Prock knows their plans, Savant thinks they must go immediately. The boys agree; somewhat nervously, Lindy agrees too. The children put on their scrappy caps, but Savant doesn’t need one due to years of training. The children feel their minds open. They go through a tunnel in a hedge and wind up in a flowery field with purple trees, a golden river, and pink mountains. On top of the mountains is the Whangdoodle’s palace.

A signpost points to four different areas: Ploy, Gambit, the Stump, and the River. Savant says they’ll have to go through each of these places to reach the Whangdoodle. He tells them about the hostile Tree Squeaks, and Tom and Lindy hear the singing Golden River. When Tom puts his hand in it, the tune changes. When Lindy throws a rock in it, the song alters again.

A colorful, silky creature, the Whiffle Bird, arrives and attaches herself to Tom. When the Whiffle Bird screams, “Mayday!”, Tom climbs a tree and notices a huge, noisy dust cloud. Savant says it’s the Whangdoodle’s private security, Sidewinders. They have bodies like cannons and five legs. The Whiffle Bird yells, “Stand and deliver!”, so Savant and the children stay put. Lindy screams, but the Sidewinders retreat; the Prock only sent them as a scare tactic. Tom screams “boo” at them, and the startled creatures collapse into one another and fall into the Golden River.

Back on Savant’s property, a tearful Lindy expresses her hatred and fear of the Sidewinders. The Prock is present, and Lindy scolds him. The Prock calls Lindy a “little girl” and blames Savant for putting the children in a dangerous situation. If they don’t want to risk further harm, they should stop trying to see the Whangdoodle. The Prock plays with his golden Yo-Yo before disappearing.

Lindy cries and claims she wasn’t brave. Savant thinks Lindy was brave—she made it Whangdoodleland. She and her brothers also learned that it’s critical to remain calm when confronted by “great chaos.” Savant believes the Prock will prey on their “virtues” and “vices” to keep them away from the Whangdoodle. They must use “reason” and fearlessness to overcome the Prock’s schemes. Savant believes the best way to deal with a “bad scare” is to immediately face it again, and the siblings agree to return to Whangdoodleland tomorrow.

After exacting warmup exercises, the children put on their scrappy caps and return to Whangdoodleland. Lindy kicks a stone, which cracks apart on a rock and turns into a flower. She sees a boat in the river, and Savant says it’s the royal barge, which belongs to the Whangdoodle. The professor leads them onto the exquisite boat, and the children tell jokes to power the vessel. The Whiffle Bird arrives and tells the party, “You’re being taken for a ride!” (108). She then reattaches herself to Tom.

Tom and his siblings go down into the cabin, where there are gold portholes, a sumptuous bed, a captain’s desk, and a gold shield featuring the words, “Pax amor et lepos in tocando”—Latin for “Peace, love, and a sense of fun” (114). The children discover an ice cream machine—the Whangdoodle has a “sweet tooth”—and order increasingly lavish treats.

Back on the deck, the Whiffle Bird repeats that someone is taking the party for a ride, but Savant doesn’t know what the bird means. With the children, Savant discusses the boat’s figurehead, and he points out the Flutterbyes and tells them about the temperamental bird called the Gyascutus. Behind a rock, the Prock and a silky creature watch the party.

Back at home, Lindy spots her scrappy cap on her pillow, having forgotten to give it back to the professor. Later that night, she puts it on and feels dizzy. Soon, a creature comes into her room. He’s as soft as a kitten but as forceful as a mountain lion. His back legs are higher than his front legs so his “behind” juts into the air. 

The Splintercat flatters Lindy and denigrates the Prock. He wraps himself around Lindy and tells her to call him “Kitty” or “Fluffy.” Mistaking a toy mouse for a real mouse, he leaps onto it. He then plays with a ball of yarn before asking Lindy if she wants to see his “pad.” Lindy doesn’t think the professor would want her to go. She asks if her brothers could come, but the Splintercat doesn’t want rowdy boys around. He compliments Lindy further, promising that they’ll return in an hour. Lindy agrees to go with him.

Ben and Tom can’t sleep. The next morning, they look in Lindy’s room and notice her empty bed. They get the feeling something is wrong and call Savant, who tells them to come over immediately. At Savant’s house, the professor explains how the Splintercat lured Lindy away, which he learned from the Prock earlier that morning. Savant realizes what the Whiffle Bird meant when she told them that someone was taking them for a ride—someone was giving them a false sense of safety. Yet Lindy isn’t in danger. She’s “happy,” and the Prock will release her once Savant stops trying to reach the Whangdoodle.

Ben and Tom think they should continue with their plan. They should call the Prock’s “bluff,” rescue Lindy, and then see the Whangdoodle. Savant agrees. In case they’re gone for an extended period, he’ll call Ethel and tell her they’re going on an “excursion.”

In Whangdoodleland, the Splintercat lets Lindy ride on his high “behind.” She smells cinnamon toast and popcorn, and the Splintercat climbs up a steep mountain. They arrive at a lollipop-like tree, and the Splintercat leaps into it and sends down a rope ladder for Lindy to climb. Inside the Splintercat’s home, Lindy feels like she’s in a rainbow-colored cocoon. The Splintercat feeds her wodge—candy that tastes like honey, marzipan, and caraway seeds. Feeling relaxed, Lindy rocks to sleep in the breeze.

The brothers and Savant stand in the flat Blandlands. Savant states that the Splintercat lives in the mountains; however, there are mountain ranges in the north, east, and west. Savant deduces that the Splintercat, as a type of mountain cat, wants a rocky area that’s grassy and open. The mountains in the east fit the description, so the party must go through Ploy and into the Gambit area.

The trio walks for hours. As a shortcut, they swim across a part of the Golden River, encountering the “fierce,” shaggy-haired, and horned Flummox. At the bottom of the mountain, Savant finds Lindy’s $0.25 and Ben spots a paw print. A loud noise shocks the group, and a white, cotton-like train, the Brainstrain, appears. Sidewinders also arrive, and the Brainstrain takes off. Ben climbs aboard, but Tom falls off. Using his umbrella, Savant gets on the train and pulls Tom back on as well. As the train won’t stop, the trio must jump off. Savant compares the train to hot air that rises and then dissipates.

Lindy wakes up and wants to go home. The cat wants to play cat’s cradle, and Lindy agrees. The cat uses the pretext of the game to wrap Lindy in wool so that she can’t move. The Prock appears and updates her on her situation: If Savant wants her back, he must stop trying to reach the Whangdoodle. Lindy insults the Splintercat and starts to sing.

Tom hears Lindy’s voice, but the Whiffle Bird screams, “Mayday!” The big-winged Gyascutus flies by, so the brothers and Savant hide behind a tree. Lindy continues to sing, and the Splintercat is overcome with emotions. She sees Savant’s head, but he doesn’t know how to rescue her. The Whiffle Bird takes control by playing dead to coax the cat out of his space.

Using a penknife, the professor frees Lindy. The Whiffle Bird continues to lure the cat away from the group. The bird also screams, “Get to the point!” (155). Savant realizes the bird wants them to go to a needle-sharp rock at the top of the hill. The Splintercat realizes the people are getting away and chases after them. The cat makes a final leap for them, but Savant uses the rock to shield them, and the cat winds up in a flowery field of catnip.