The Lost Steps

The narrator hears Beethoven’s “Symphony no. 9” playing on the radio, linking his current mixed feelings about the music to his formative years. He recalls his father, a German classical musician whose career was uprooted due to World War I, leading the family to move to the Antilles, where the narrator was born. He remembers his father’s attempt to connect with his lost musical past by conducting imaginary orchestras and his Spanish mother’s discreet attempts to shield his father’s eccentricity from the outside world.

When the narrator’s mother died, his father moved him to North America, where his bitterness grew. He views the United States as a land without history. This perspective influences the narrator’s idealization of Europe, leading to his eventual return there, only to find himself amidst the outbreak of World War II, witnessing the moral and societal decay he did not anticipate.

In his youth, the narrator formed a close bond with Maria del Carmen, the gardener’s daughter. He remembers how they playfully agreed to marry while hiding in a hamper, only to be caught and chastised by the family cook. This memory contrasts with his later experiences as a military interpreter during the war, where he was confronted with the horrors of concentration camps. The memory of hearing Jewish prisoners sing the Ode to Joy from “Symphony no. 9” in prison led him to succumb to women and drink like the other men already had.

Fed up with the empty assurances of the Ode to Joy, the narrator shifts his attention from the music to the view outside the window, focusing on nature as he eats fruit.

Mouche grows weary and discontented with the journey. This change prompts a growing bond between Mouche and Rosario despite the language barrier, with Rosario offering a comforting, maternal presence. The narrator notes the contrast between their reading preferences—Mouche is reading a contemporary bestseller while Rosario reads The Story of Genevieve of Brabant, a religious hagiography from the 13th century. In his mind, this contrast is further evidence of Mouche’s superficial tastes.

The group encounters the oil fields, described as the “Valley of Flames,” and subsequently stops at an inn in town. The arrival of sex workers, accepted warmly by both men and women, intrigues Mouche, leading to a confrontation when a Greek man (Yannes) mistakes her for one of them. The narrator’s defense of Mouche escalates into a physical altercation, only to be diffused by Rosario’s intervention. Despite the apology from Yannes, the incident leaves the narrator resentful of Mouche for her provocative and unbecoming behavior.

As they leave the inn’s charged atmosphere for a walk along the river, Mouche continues to flirt with Yannes, ignoring the natural beauty around them. This moment solidifies the narrator’s view of Mouche as a burdensome presence.

The narrator finds himself lost in thought while seated on a rock, marveling at the scale of the natural world around him. This reflection brings him humor as he realizes he hasn’t wound his watch. Even the mundane scents of garlic, bulls, and alfalfa become pleasant to him.

During this time, Mouche talks with Yannes about his work as a miner, while the narrator’s thoughts turn to Rosario. He admires her courage for embarking on this dangerous journey. He regrets Mouche’s presence, longing instead for a deeper connection with the local people and especially with Rosario. He daydreams about being intimate with Rosario but does not confess his desire for fear of looking foolish in her eyes, and he continues to watch over Mouche primarily so Rosario will think he is a good person.

Observing the men in this environment, the narrator thinks of their physical strength and mastery of timeless skills as evidence of authentic masculinity.

The group encounters an abandoned city that has been overtaken by nature, with collapsed roofs and decayed doors. The narrator is drawn to the sound of drums and flutes from an old church. There, veiled dancers, faceless and eerie, move toward the church. Inside, ancient and modern instruments blend, creating a solemn and timeless atmosphere.

In a ceremony outside, boys push the church bell into motion, initiating a procession around the church led by a priest, with actors dressed as devils following. The solemn figure of Saint James then re-enters the church, leaving the “devils” to morph into jesters performing in the city’s ruins. Rosario introduces the narrator to the priest, Fray Pedro de Henestrosa, who shares the tradition of celebrating the Feast of Saint James during Corpus Christi, rooted in the town’s history.

As they prepare to depart, the narrator ignores Mouche, absorbed in the eclectic mix of their group, which reminds him of Hieronymus Bosch’s late 15th-century painting Ship of Fools. Fray Pedro de Henestrosa captivates the group with a Gregorian hymn from the Roman Catholic tradition. This ancient chant mesmerizes the narrator.

Arriving at Puerto Anunciación, the group notices the city’s struggle against the encroaching jungle. Though the city was evidently designed for equestrian travel, there are no horses to be seen, and instead there are dogs everywhere, even in religious settings. Their accommodations, dilapidated former barracks, come with a stock of turtles for emergency sustenance.

Mouche is frustrated by the lack of modern amenities, particularly electricity and access to cosmetics. Despite her usual efforts to appear naturally beautiful and above such “feminine vanities,” her reliance on cosmetics is evident. Observing her without these resources, the narrator notices the true condition of her skin and hair.

After arguing with the narrator about the value of the local culture and lifestyle, Mouche demands to go home. The narrator refuses, and she mockingly calls him a “bourgeois,” implying that his fascination with the region and its people is inauthentic, a form of cultural tourism. The narrator, aiming to hurt her, bluntly tells her he no longer loves her. The disagreement escalates, with Mouche throwing a pitcher at the narrator and fleeing outside, where she falls into the turtle pool. He assists in cleaning her up, not out of affection but as a final act of caretaking before leaving.

In a tavern, the narrator meets the Adelantado, a man familiar with the jungle’s secrets, alongside a unique beer-drinking dog, Gavilan. The Adelantado shares insights into navigating the jungle and hints at a hidden gold mine, rumored to be worked by outlaws or possibly by an ancient community of enslaved people who escaped their enslavers.

The narrator discusses his search for ancient musical instruments with the Adelantado, who suggests visiting a tribe three days away by river. Fray Pedro interrupts their conversation with news of Rosario’s father’s death, and they all head to the deceased’s home. The narrator reflects on the agave brandy he enjoyed at the tavern named “Memories of the Future.”

Rosario’s father’s house is filled with the presence of death. Overly fragrant flowers from the community surround the coffin. Men and women occupy separate areas, and the women pray repeatedly. A sudden outburst from a young girl in black disrupts the solemn atmosphere; she is swiftly removed. Rosario, in deep mourning and strikingly beautiful despite her grief, unleashes a torrent of sorrow over the coffin, resisting others’ attempts to console her. Her dramatic grief deeply affects the narrator. Another sister then takes her place by the coffin, grieving as demonstratively as Rosario did.

The mourning rituals at the funeral evoke ancient traditions, with the women acting as a Greek chorus, expressing dramatic grief that is theatrical and deeply authentic at the same time. He believes that death was handled in a dignified, ritualistic way in ancient times, and he contrasts this with the commercialized, impersonal approach to death he’s familiar with from his society.

Yannes suggests that the narrator go and speak to Rosario. The narrator finds Rosario making coffee in the kitchen, her demeanor calmer now. Their conversation reveals Rosario’s mythological understanding of her father’s illness and death, blending traditional beliefs with the physical. The narrator feels a strong, almost taboo desire for Rosario, intensified by the emotional weight of the funeral and the intimate setting.

As dawn breaks, a peculiar reddish cloud obscures the sun, casting an eerie glow over everything. It rains butterflies. The Adelantado explains that such swarms are not unusual there and can last an entire day.

Butterflies darken the sky at Rosario’s father’s funeral. Inside, the church is dim. Saints are depicted engaging in symbolic acts, blending daily village life with the sacred.

The narrator returns to the inn, where Mouche sleeps, oblivious. He then goes to visit Rosario, seeking solace and connection. Rosario and Mouche adjust, with Mouche’s initial desire to leave seemingly forgotten. She shares an encounter with Yannes, discussing a detour to avoid the rapids at Piedras Negras. The Adelantado suggests leveraging the rubber gatherers’ departure to facilitate their journey.

Excited by the mention of a diamond mine, Mouche convinces Rosario to join them on this part of the trip, and the narrator is pleased to have Rosario’s company. They set off in a rubber-gatherers’ boat, navigating the river toward the diamond mine. The islands in the river remind the narrator that Rosario once mentioned an island with an abandoned mission known for its scandalous history as a lovers’ hideout.

The narrator finds solace in his isolation with Rosario while Mouche lies oblivious on the deck. The narrator experiences a sense of liberation from Mouche, unburdened by his past anger. He contemplates the direction of his life and his fading memory of his wife as the gentle sway of the boat evokes childhood memories and warmth toward Rosario.

The narrator meets Yannes’s brothers and visits a hut where Dr. Montsalvatje, a collector of rare plants and researcher of herbal poisons and narcotics, resides. The group—including the narrator, Dr. Montsalvatje, Fray Pedro, and Mouche, along with local rubber gatherers—gathers around a campfire, engaging in conversation and sharing local produce.

The discussion shifts to the potential exhaustion of the diamond mine. Still, Dr. Montsalvatje suggests that more riches lie further toward the Great Plateaux, with the narrator realizing that everyone in the group was on their own El Dorado-like quest. Dr. Montsalvatje argues that myths like El Dorado are based on reality, suggesting a “mother lode” of gold yet to be found in the unexplored mountain ranges. The Adelantado presents an ancient axe found amidst conquistador relics in the jungle.

Dr. Montsalvatje brings forth legends of magical beings and mythical creatures, like medicine men with healing powers and fantastical animals with extraordinary abilities. Dr. Montsalvatje defends the existence of the mythical Kingdom of Manoa, arguing that its reality has been acknowledged by missionaries and scientists alike. He suggests that extraordinary discoveries, like stairways and temples from ancient civilizations, affirm the existence of lost worlds waiting to be uncovered.

As the night deepens, the doctor reveals a bottle of gold nuggets. The group marvels at the gold, each interacting with it in their own way.

After returning from the diamond mine, the narrator anticipates Mouche’s disappointment upon discovering the harsh realities of diamond mining. Unexpectedly, Rosario violently attacks Mouche, leaving her injured and confused. Sensing a justification behind Rosario’s actions, the group blames Mouche. Mouche, now suffering from a severe fever diagnosed by Dr. Montsalvatje as malaria, becomes a concern. The narrator feels indifferent to her plight but more upset that he must return to the Curator empty-handed. However, Montsalvatje offers to care for Mouche, alleviating the narrator’s burden.

Rosario explains to the narrator that Mouche provocatively suggested she remove her clothing, crossing a boundary of respect and modesty. This act, considered a grave insult in their culture, propelled Rosario to defend her honor through physical retaliation.

The narrator and Rosario begin having sex, but Mouche interrupts, screaming at them. Rosario kicks her to quiet her, and they continue having sex, not caring whether Mouche lives or dies.

Mouche is removed from the group by Dr. Montsalvatje, who takes her under his care. The narrator, relieved, reflects on the newfound lightness of his existence and begins to embrace his life in the jungle more fully. Rosario becomes a central figure of care and attention. Yannes, a Greek miner, plans to leave for a new prospecting trip, carrying only a bilingual edition of the Odyssey. Yannes’s story reveals a deep connection to his ancestral roots and a longing for discovery, mirroring the broader quest for knowledge and understanding. The group encounters a strange, large hoofed animal, a tapir, which they initially mistake for a wild pig. They kill the tapir and roast it, and the feast that follows becomes a communal event, linking the characters to ancient rituals and ancestral traditions.

The narrator and Rosario make love in the hut before the group splits into two and goes on its way. Rosario‘s repetition of the narrator‘s name signifies the narrator’s rebirth.

The group departs, led by the Adelantado, Rosario, and the narrator, relying solely on natural lights for navigation. This symbolizes their complete immersion into the wilderness, moving further away from civilization and into a realm where time and modern constraints seem not to exist.