The Lost Steps

The dead alligator is a symbol of the narrator’s romanticized vision of South America and nature, emphasizing the theme of the dichotomy between nature and civilization. While he has previously navigated the brutality of the Revolution in the city with a certain detachment: “I had more than once stepped on the bodies of men who had died in defense of convictions” (54), his encounter with the rotting, fly-infested alligator triggers a visceral fear. This reaction highlights the irony of his situation: He can intellectually justify the violence and death in human society as part of a larger ideological struggle, yet he is unprepared for the raw and indifferent violence of nature. His flight to Rosario for comfort: “I fled from the horror, seeking the protection of my lover. I was afraid” (162), further emphasizes this irony, as the narrator’s actions contradict his own idealized image of masculinity. His need for nature to remain an untouched sanctuary from his disillusionment with civilization leads to a profound personal crisis when faced with its inherent violence, revealing his struggle with fragile masculinity and an idealized worldview now confronted with reality’s imperfections.

Beethoven’s Symphony No. 9 (rendered in the text simply as the Ninth Symphony) serves as a motif for the narrator’s disillusionment, evolving sense of displacement, and deep-seated trauma. Initially, it is a cherished memory of his father, symbolizing the peak of European culture and intellect. This memory influences the narrator’s belief in Europe as the pinnacle of civilization. The symphony concludes with the famously idealistic Ode to Joy, whose words come from a poem by the German Enlightenment philosopher Friedrich Schiller. The ode exhorts all people to unite in joyous fraternity—a sentiment that, in later years, both galvanized revolutions and served as propaganda for despots. The narrator’s experience hearing Jewish prisoners sing Beethoven’s symphony in a Nazi concentration camp profoundly alters his perception: “I lost faith in those who lied when they talked of their principles, quoting, like the Devil, Scripture for their purpose” (97). This moment shatters his idealistic views, turning the symphony into a reminder of lost innocence and death.

While the “curse of the ninth” myth, suggesting that a composer’s ninth symphony will be their last, is not directly mentioned in the text, it subtly reflects the narrator’s skepticism toward art and his recognition that art’s value shifts with the tastes of different generations. This notion, suggesting the futility of seeking absolute perfection or understanding, parallels his own disillusionment and the elusive nature of his quest for transcendence, deepening the narrative’s exploration of The Role of Art and Creativity in Human Fulfilment and Disillusionment.