The Viscount Who Loved Me

Edwina’s reaction to Kate and Anthony’s engagement injects levity into the seriousness of the couple’s strong, conflicting emotions. Despite Edwina’s encouragement, Kate’s feels like her worst fears about being unworthy are only confirmed by the ton’s reaction to the engagement news. People visit her house and all but accuse her of trapping Anthony into marriage, as if the only possible reason why he would marry her is because he had to. Anthony’s conversation with Kate about how their marriage will not be about love only serves to further reinforce her belief that he does not actually want her. While he might desire her, Kate genuinely believes that Anthony only projects onto her his desire for someone else. She is upset to think Anthony might not ever love her, because that would mean their marriage would be a lifetime of still being compared to someone else. That feeling of being unchosen would hurt more coming from Anthony than it would from a random suitor she barely knows, because Kate has accepted that she loves Anthony.

Mary’s conversation with Kate about marital relations between husband and wife even further reinforces Kate’s fears about being unloved and unchosen. Since Kate has no personal knowledge of sex and the emotions that accompany the physical act, she must rely on what Mary tells her from her own experiences, which are subjective and do not necessarily represent the truth of all relationships. Kate’s anxiety has compounded so much by the actual wedding day that she asks Anthony if they can wait to have sex. She is not afraid, but her insecurities convince her that Anthony does not even like her.

Kate still feels second-string to Edwina, and Anthony has not yet said or done anything to dissuade her worries. He only speaks of his rights as her husband, which does not calm her down. Once Anthony sees Kate literally shaking from anxiety, he does what he can to help her work through what is bothering her. His first instinct, that Mary did not educate Kate, is understandable; sex was very much a taboo topic during the time. His next concern is the possibility that Kate is afraid to have sex with him because she has been traumatized sexually in the past. Although his concern that she had been hurt is genuine, it introduces irony within the narrative, considering that he took advantage of her sexual inexperience to provoke a reaction from her. Ultimately, Anthony talks Kate through her fears on their wedding night much in the same way he helped talk her through her panic attack during the thunderstorm. As soon as he is sure she is not afraid of him specifically, he gently but directly asks her questions to get to the root of her anxiety. Anthony feels he could love Kate if he let himself, and by honoring her request to love her, he progresses towards acceptance of his feelings. Kate resigns herself to pretending Anthony loves and desires her; she does not want to wait to have sex with him, because she knows she loves him. That said, they have not had a forthright conversation about their feelings, and that element of miscommunication leads them to make assumptions that cause more issues than they resolve.

Their sexual relations are loving and passionate, but the fact that Anthony wanted so badly for Kate to say yes to him illuminates his own insecurities about their relationship. He needed to hear her verbally, clearly, and enthusiastically say she wants him, because until that moment, he could not be sure. He worried she was afraid of him or still disliked him; her “yes” is validation that she feels for him, too. Anthony initiates sex after Kate asks him to love her, which momentarily links sex, pleasure, desire, and love all together for her. She asks, and he answers affirmatively, which finally makes Kate feel chosen. During sex, Anthony puts Kate’s pleasure before his own. Overtly, he delays his orgasm so she can achieve hers first; more subtly, he keeps the mood playful so that she relaxes, making penetration less painful.

Anthony tells Kate she is beautiful, but she distrusts the compliment because to her, there is still a distinction between desire (sex) and beauty (love). When they first met, Anthony said she was as beautiful as Edwina, which Kate felt was a lie. Now, when he calls her beautiful, she still thinks of her beauty and desirability in terms of being compared to others, so her instinctual response is that he is projecting his desire for another person onto their relationship. For the first time, Anthony and Kate communicate clearly about their feelings: Kate reveals her insecurity about being compared to Edwina, and Anthony tells her in no uncertain terms that she is the only one he desires—but he is careful to leave “love” out of it.