The Woman in Me

Spears sings all the time as a child. Music is very important to her; she describes it as “magic.” She grows up in Kentwood, Louisiana, a close-knit community where Christianity is very important. Jamie’s father, June, was abusive and sent his wife Jean, Jamie’s mother, to an asylum following the death of her baby. While at the hospital, Jean was put on lithium. June did the same thing to his second wife. When Jamie was 13, Jean died by suicide. Jamie continues his father’s pattern of abuse with Spears and her older brother, Bryan.

Spears’s parents got married young and struggled financially due to Jamie’s drinking habits. Eventually, they both managed to start successful businesses. Growing up, Spears is close with the women in her extended family, including her mother’s sister, Sandra, and her cousin, Laura Lynne. She loves attention and naturally gravitates toward dancing, singing, and gymnastics. People in her life start telling her that she is destined to be a performer.

When Spears is four, her brother, Bryan, is in an accident on a four-wheeler. He breaks many bones and has to be airlifted to a hospital and put in a full-body cast. Spears takes care of him and sleeps beside him every night. Even after his casts come off, she continues to share a bed with him until the sixth grade.

Spears’s father starts drinking again, and his businesses begin to fail. The family goes through increasing financial trouble, and Jamie begins having mood swings that scare Spears. Jamie is especially hard on Bryan and abusive toward Lynne. He drinks so much that he passes out on the couch at night and Lynne starts screaming at him, waking up Spears and Bryan. Spears begs her mom to just put him to bed because he is too drunk to hear her. 

Despite the family turmoil, the Spears household is a popular destination for Spears’s friends and other neighborhood kids, and their home is always full. Spears is desperate to get everyone’s attention.

At five, Spears enters a local dance competition. She wins and begins taking part in regional competitions, where she does very well. When she is eight, her parents take her to Atlanta to audition for The All-New Mickey Mouse Club. Spears does well in the audition but does not get a part because she is too young. The casting director suggests that Lynne take Spears to New York to get work and recommends an agent. 

Six months later, Spears’s mom sends a tape of Spears singing to the agent, Nancy Carson. Nancy agrees to sign Spears to her talent agency after meeting with her in New York. Soon after, Spears’s little sister, Jamie Lynn, is born. Spears’s mother suffers a postpartum hemorrhage a few days later, which Spears witnesses. Following this, Spears experiences intense panic and anxiety if she is separated from her mother. Only when she is performing does she feel in control.

At age 10, Spears is invited to be a contestant on Star Search. The host, Ed McMahon, interviews her and another contestant and asks her if she has a boyfriend. When she says no, he suggests himself as a potential candidate. She does not win the competition. A while later, Spears gets a role as an understudy in an off-Broadway musical. She, her mother, and Jamie Lynn live in New York for the run of the show. Though landing the role is validating, the schedule is very difficult for Spears. When she is expected to perform on Christmas Day, she quits the show and goes back to Kentwood. 

Though she decides that the schedule of New York City theater is too much for her, the experience is good for Spears, and she decides to audition again for The Mickey Mouse Club. While she waits to hear back, she discovers a love of basketball and becomes a point guard on her school team.

Spears lands a role in The Mickey Mouse Club. The show is a “boot camp for the entertainment industry” (31). The kids have “extensive dance rehearsals, singing lessons, acting classes, time in the recording studio, and school in between” (31). Spears connects with fellow cast member Justin Timberlake. Her mother and sister come to live with her in Orlando while filming takes place. The Mickey Mouse Club proves to Spears that she wants to sing and dance as a career. However, when filming wraps, she returns to Kentwood and tries to have a normal life for a while. 

At 13, Spears starts driving a car, drinking alcohol with her mother, and smoking cigarettes. Her mom discovers that Spears has been smoking when she smells smoke on her while Spears is driving. Her mother gets angry and causes an accident in which Spears veers off the road. Spears also starts dating Bryan’s best friend, who is 17, in secret. She misses a lot of school because she leaves early to go spend time with her boyfriend. Despite liking aspects of her normal life, Spears also misses performing. Timberlake is forming a band called *NSYNC with other young stars from The Mickey Mouse Club. Spears decides to pursue a solo career. She records a demo and sends it to some entertainment executives in New York.

At 15, Spears meets Clive Calder, the executive of Jive Records. She instantly likes him, and he signs her to his record label. Her mother is unable to come live with her in New Jersey, so family friend Felicia Culotta becomes her temporary guardian while she records music. A year later, Spears’s first album is coming along well. She works incredibly hard and often does not take breaks. She connects with Max Martin, a Swedish music producer who helps her record “...Baby One More Time.” He listens to her vision for the song and lets her have creative input.

Spears works on the music video for “...Baby One More Time.” She goes on a mall tour to promote her first album. No one knows who she is until the video for “...Baby One More Time” is released. After the song is a hit, Spears starts getting noticed everywhere she goes. She skyrockets to fame and success. She begins touring with Justin Timberlake and *NSYNC and appearing on MTV.

During the time that they spend touring together, Spears falls in love with Timberlake. She notices that the two of them get asked different questions in interviews: She is frequently asked about her body (specifically her breasts) and her dating life, while he is not. 

Spears’s rapid rise to fame thrusts her into the spotlight, and many people criticize her for what she wears, saying that she is “dressing ‘too sexy,’ and thereby setting a bad example for kids” (50). She is troubled and confused by this criticism, objecting to the implication that being sexy means she cannot also be talented. In reaction to the public pressure of fame, she starts taking Prozac and reading religious books. With the money she earns, she clears her father’s debts and builds her mother a house.

In 2001, Spears performs at the Super Bowl halftime show. Her career continues to flourish, bringing many notable successes, including singing with Michael Jackson in Madison Square Garden and appearing in Pepsi commercials. She also stars in a Shonda Rhimes-penned movie, Crossroads. Shooting the movie is an intense experience for Spears since she follows a fully-immersive, method approach to acting. Not wanting to lose her sense of self further, Spears decides not to pursue acting any further.

At 19, Spears feels like she is living the dream. She is offered a role in the movie musical Chicago but turns it down and goes on to regret not taking a chance and doing something different. 

Spears and Timberlake live together in Orlando. Spears feels that the relationship is a special one. However, there are times that Timberlake cheats on her, especially when he is on tour. Spears does not tell him that she knows. The one time she kisses someone else, she admits it to Timberlake. Unexpectedly, Spears discovers she is pregnant. Timberlake tells Spears that they are too young to have a baby and pressures her to get an abortion. Without going to a doctor (for fear that the information will leak to the press), Felicia Culotta procures medication to induce a non-surgical abortion at home. Spears takes the pills at home in her bathroom as Timberlake plays his guitar and sings to comfort her. The experience is traumatic and painful for Spears, both physically and emotionally. Afterward, Spears notes that she is “messed up for a while” (64).