Third Grade Angels

Suds’s competitiveness escalates as he strives to earn the first halo and fixates on comparing himself to his classmates. His desire to excel and outperform his peers intensifies, fueled by the fear of falling behind or being perceived as less capable. This pressure to succeed becomes increasingly burdensome for Suds, and he admits, “Even with all this good stuff going on, I couldn’t relax. Because I didn’t know how I was doing compared to everybody else. […] It was like I was in a race, but I couldn’t see any of the other runners” (90). The metaphor of a race underscores his perception of academic and moral achievement as a competitive endeavor, one in which personal success is measured in relation to the success of others. Suds’s inability to gauge his progress without external benchmarks is yet another one of The Pitfalls of Perfectionism that he experiences, prompting constant anxiety and self-doubt. Rather than deriving satisfaction from his own growth and efforts, Suds instead becomes consumed by the need to achieve perfection every day, and this unhealthy belief perpetuates a cycle of discontentment and insecurity. Despite his concerted efforts to be a model student, Suds’s feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt only grow as time passes and the competition for the halo unfolds. Measuring his worth against his peers’ achievements exacerbates his insecurities, undermining his ability to recognize and appreciate his own considerable progress.

Suds’s inability to see beyond the competition renders him incapable of recognizing the collective progress of his classmates as well as his own. Instead of recognizing their shared commitment to good behavior, Suds becomes increasingly preoccupied with outperforming them. This narrow perspective isolates him, hindering his ability to connect with his peers and fostering a sense of individual triumph over collective growth. Suds also begins to perceive others’ success as a direct threat to his own achievements. This fixation on comparison highlights the destructive nature of Suds’s perfectionism, for his determination to view others as rivals causes him to miss opportunities to build a genuinely supportive and collaborative environment in the classroom. A healthy sense of competition can motivate and inspire, but Suds’s obsession transforms this urge into a divisive force that hinders the potential for shared growth among his peers.

Suds’s mother recognizes the detrimental impact that her son’s pursuit of perfection is having on his well-being, and her attempts to mitigate this issue emphasize The Impact of Adult Guidance. She offers words of reassurance, attempting to alleviate pressure by stating, “It’s okay to not be first. It’s okay to be second. Or tenth. Or even last” (103-04). However, while she attempts to guide Suds towards a healthier perspective on competition and success, his perfectionism ultimately impedes his ability to heed her advice and find fulfillment in his progress. Even as Suds struggles to internalize her advice, his entrenched perfectionism prevents him from valuing anything other than winning. Suds’s continued belief in his own inferiority also illustrates the extent to which his perfectionism distorts his perception of success and failure, ultimately preventing him from taking a healthy pride in his development, regardless of the outcome. As a last attempt to instill a bit of wisdom in Suds, his mother advises him to “be a good loser” (118) in case the first halo is not his, and this encouragement highlights the importance of embracing good character and integrity. The exchange also implies that true strength lies not in winning but in handling opportunities for growth with dignity and respect.

In a sharp contrast to his many contrived attempts to be perceived as an “angel,” Suds’s urge to help the runaway dog demonstrates a spontaneous act of kindness that is devoid of calculation and driven solely by his innate sense of empathy. His immediate reaction is one of instinctive altruism, and he rushes to rescue the distressed animal without pausing to consider potential rewards or consequences. This genuine display of selflessness showcases Suds’s capacity for goodness in its purest form. He acts out of a genuine desire to help, reflecting a moral compass untainted by ulterior motives or external pressures. However, upon reflection, Suds’s perspective on the incident undergoes a subtle transformation. As he considers the potential implications of his actions within the context of the halo competition, a new layer of motivation emerges. Suds’s thoughts shift from the immediacy of the moment to the prospect of gaining recognition and validation from Mrs. Simms. This shift highlights the ever-present influence of Suds’s underlying desire to excel and become recognized as “first” in the eyes of others. Despite his initial instinct, he finds himself torn between genuine goodness and the allure of external validation.

Suds also finds himself grappling with an internal conflict that grows increasingly overwhelming as the day of the halo announcement approaches. His decision to skip school, a drastic departure from his usual eagerness to please, serves as a clear indicator of the depth of his anxiety and the pervasive influence of perfectionism on his emotional well-being. Within the confines of his daydreams, which are fueled by the tantalizing prospect of the halo and a kiss from Judy Billings, Suds’s profound longing for recognition becomes increasingly evident. Within his internal contemplations, the core conflict of his character truly unfolds, and his innate drive for applause clashes head-on with his emerging understanding that true “goodness” might require humility and selflessness.