This Is How It Always Is

Penn is an idealistic novelist who falls in love with Rosie before he even meets her. He functions as the family’s heart, relying on his belief in redemption and fairy tales to fuel his family with hope. Due to Rosie’s demanding work schedule, he takes on the family’s domestic duties. He meticulously tracks and researches possibilities for Poppy’s transition, searching for ways in which she can most fully be herself. However, in this quest for the perfect transition, Penn does not consider factors outside of Poppy’s anatomy. By the end of the book, Penn has abandoned his allegiance to fairy tales in favor of stories that grow with each retelling; such stories symbolize the continual development and evolution of himself, his relationship with Rosie, and their family.

Poppy is a highly intelligent, tender-hearted child who realizes early on in her life that her gender expression is more complex than that of her peers. At the age of three, Poppy, then called Claude, informs her parents that she wants to be a girl scientist when she grows up. Due in part to her nurturing upbringing, Poppy does not register any difference between herself and her peers until kindergarten, when her teacher shames her for bringing a purse to school. After a series of challenges at school, and after gaining some perspective while staying in Thailand, Poppy decides to stop hiding behind Claude and embrace her identity as Poppy.

Aggie is Poppy’s best friend and neighbor in Seattle. Like Poppy, she does not adhere to traditional gender roles. She is headstrong, loud, and a self-proclaimed weirdo. Aggie acts harshly when she finds out about Claude. She refuses to talk to Poppy due to the secret Poppy kept from her, even though she has kept a secret of her own. In the end, her love for Poppy overcomes her anger, and they become “rival neighbor weirdos” instead of rival princesses (321).

After the Walsh-Adams family moves to Seattle, Poppy’s eldest brother, Roo, acts as Poppy’s foil in many ways. Where Poppy is thriving, Roo is drowning. Whereas Poppy has many friends in Seattle, Roo has none. In Seattle, Poppy is finally able to express her full identity and is happy and joyful. Roo, on the other hand, is brooding and sullen. Roo’s struggles come to symbolize Rosie and Penn’s challenges in attending to all their children’s needs in the face of Poppy’s particular struggles: In an attempt to keep Poppy safe, they neglect Roo’s emotional well-being. Roo expresses himself through anger. However, once his parents meet his needs and acknowledge his challenges, he begins to synthesize his experiences in thoughtful ways, ultimately writing a powerful, reflective college essay about Poppy.

Mr. Tongo, the endearing and quirky child psychologist that Rosie and Penn hire to advise them during Poppy’s life transitions, serves as both radical truth-teller and comic relief. While his unorthodox methodology is a source of frustration for Rosie and Penn, his funny yet poignant commentary about Claude/Poppy’s various stages of development encourages and guides them.