61 pages • 2 hours read
Laurie FrankelThis Is How It Always Is
Fiction | Novel | Adult | Published in 2017A modern alternative to SparkNotes and CliffsNotes, SuperSummary offers high-quality Study Guides with detailed chapter summaries and analysis of major themes, characters, and more. For select classroom titles, we also provide Teaching Guides with discussion and quiz questions to prompt student engagement.
Themes
The Ambiguity of Gendered Behavior
Throughout the novel, Frankel debunks the validity of gendered behavior. Poppy is far from the only character who strays from the confines of traditional gender roles. The stability and effectiveness of Penn and Rosie’s relationship is a testament to the ways in which assumptions about gendered behavior are flawed. While Penn takes care of domestic duties, Rosie is the breadwinner. Rosie is pragmatic where Penn is creative, bordering on idealistic. When Mr. Tongo asks him to track Poppy’s gendered behavior, Penn realizes that many of his other children’s behavior does not align with traditional gender roles, nor does his relationship with Rosie. He teases Rosie: “It’s very boy-column even to be attracted to such a girly fellow as this” (72).
Even less-central characters, such as Cayenne, Ben, and Aggie, illustrate the fallacy of normative gender roles. Within Cayenne and Ben’s relationship, Cayenne exhibits stereotypical masculine nonchalance while Ben is sentimental and love sick, behavior typically categorized as “feminine.” For her part, Aggie takes pride in being anti-feminine, shouting and stomping about in play, getting dirty, being unabashedly naked, and, when she gets older, complaining about her female anatomy. Furthermore, Frankel points out the subtle distinction between many gendered behaviors. For example, early on in the book, Rosie notices that the only visible distinction between little girls and little boys in kindergarten is three inches of hair: If you have short hair you are a boy, and if you have long hair you are a girl. Frankel further elaborates on the invalidity of gender distinctions by noting their social construction. Though Poppy’s kindergarten teacher is uncomfortable with Poppy’s gender ambiguity, Poppy’s fellow students are not old enough to be fully aware of gender differences and therefore do not find Poppy’s transition extraordinary. In Thailand, Claude’s students are unsure if he is a boy or a girl, and they do not care. As Penn notes to Claude via Skype, “They must have so many questions about who you are; boy or girl isn’t what’s most pressing to them” (270). Furthermore, the acceptance of the trans community in Thailand highlights the difference in cultural notions of gender.
The Dangers and Realities of Transphobia
This Is How It Always Is highlights the micro and macro aggressions that people from the trans community face. Poppy faces adversity from unlikely places, even among the administrators of her school. Rosie experiences first-hand the dangers of trans existence when she encounters Jane Doe at the hospital. Through Jane Doe’s story, Rosie realizes the hatred her daughter could encounter simply for embracing her true identity. The force of this realization is so great that Rosie moves her family across the country is search of tolerance. Lastly, Nick Sr.’s willingness to threaten a kindergarten-age Poppy simply for wearing a dress shows how quickly ignorance can escalate.
In This is How It Always Is, bullies of all ages pose a threat both to Poppy and to the Walsh-Adams family’s sense of security in general. The book illustrates the intolerance of adults to divergent gender expressions. It describes parents who stare and sneer at Claude when he is wearing a dress and on the verge of becoming Poppy, and Claude’s passive-aggressive kindergarten teacher, who finds excuses to scold him. Nefarious characters such as Nick Sr., and the passivity of his wife, highlight the immense responsibility adults have in leading their children towards tolerance. Even the Grandersons, who become friends with Rosie and Penn and their children, show fear of the unknown when Frank asks a series of ignorant questions about Poppy and Marginny suggests that Rosie and Penn keep Claude a secret. These characters show how immensely adults can fail in this endeavor and the effect their failure can have on the next generation. At its heart, the book makes the point that tolerance is an intergenerational effort, and it is up to adults to correct bullies’ behavior.
The Challenges of Parenting
Throughout the novel, Rosie and Penn must make many difficult decisions about their children’s well-being without any guarantees that these decisions will lead to the desired results. For instance, the couple goes blindly into Claude’s journey to become Poppy, navigating unforeseen complications such as the administration at Claude’s school, which addresses the logistics of Claude’s transition without considering Claude’s feelings or personal growth. A growing understanding of transphobia, at times underlying and at others outright aggressive, leads pragmatic Rosie to look for solutions in a different location. However, Penn argues that geography is secondary to changing the narrative around how people see Poppy, and more importantly, how Poppy sees herself.
Rosie and Penn’s difficult decisions are even more challenging given the need to balance the well-being of their other children, especially with regards to Roo’s difficulty adjusting in Seattle. The other siblings also express distress and confusion about having to keep Claude a secret once they have moved to Seattle. These challenges put a strain on Rosie and Penn’s relationship and highlight the contrasting ways in which they approach problem-solving.
Rosie and Penn begin to realize the inevitability of mistakes and uncertainty in parenting. Rosie learns to let go of her pragmatism while Penn sees the flaws in his idealism. By the end of the book, they agree that parenting with good intentions is more important than trying to predict their children’s futures.
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