Unreasonable Hospitality: The Remarkable Power of Giving People More Than They Expect

In Unreasonable Hospitality, Guidara juxtaposes many opposing concepts—including hospitality and excellence, restaurant-smart and corporate-smart, and control and trust—illustrating how the interplay between seemingly contradictory forces can foster innovation and excellence in the hospitality industry.

The first tension Guidara explores is between hospitality and excellence. He explains that in the realm of fine dining, there’s often a perceived mismatch between focusing on the culinary excellence of the food served or on the warmth and attentiveness of the hospitality offered. Guidara argues that while these elements may seem at odds, their integration is essential for creating a truly exceptional dining experience. In explaining why he and Daniel wanted to view each other as true partners at Eleven Madison Park, Guidara asserts that “A restaurant driven by the chef was always going to do what was best for the food, while one driven by the restaurateur would always do what was best for the service. But if we had to make decisions together, we decided, we would end up with what was best for the restaurant as a whole” (56). According to Guidara, EMP’s journey illustrates how striving for culinary excellence without sacrificing the personal touch of genuine hospitality can elevate a restaurant from merely good to legendary. This approach challenges the conventional wisdom that one must choose between being a chef-driven establishment that prioritizes food above all or a service-oriented venue that may compromise on culinary ambition. Instead, Guidara strives to demonstrate that synthesis—making meticulous attention to the quality of both food and guest interaction paramount—creates a more fulfilling and memorable experience for guests.

The dichotomy between being “restaurant-smart” and “corporate-smart” is another source of creative tension within the book. Restaurant-smart practices prioritize flexibility, creativity, and a personalized approach to guest service, while corporate-smart approaches focus on efficiency, standardization, and profitability. Guidara suggests that embracing elements of both can lead to a more sustainable business model that doesn’t compromise the guest experience for operational efficiency. He explains how he learned these concepts while working at his father’s company, and applying them to his job as the manager of the MoMA café. “My experience at MoMA showed me that it was possible to be corporate-smart and restaurant-smart at the same time,” he says (48), showing that combining seemingly conflicting concepts can lead to success.

Finally, Guidara delves into the tension between control and trust. In his pursuit of creating the perfect dining experience, Guidara realized that, at times, he inadvertently stifled the creativity and personal initiative of his staff. In the book, he admits that his perfectionist tendencies, while usually helpful, could sometimes slide into restrictive behaviors:

My compulsive attention to detail is one of my superpowers; it’s how I take aim at perfection. But that tendency also means I’m always walking a tightrope between my desire to guarantee excellence by controlling everything and knowing I want to create an environment of empowerment and collaboration and trust among the people who work for me (241).

He openly acknowledges that “Like excellence and hospitality, these two qualities—control and trust—are not friends” (241). However, by learning to trust his team and allowing them room to express their own interpretations of EMP’s standards, Guidara discovered that the restaurant could achieve a level of perfection that was both more authentic and more dynamic.