39 pages • 1 hour read
Kate FaganWhat Made Maddy Run: The Secret Struggles and Tragic Death of an All-American Teen
Nonfiction | Book | Adult | Published in 2017A modern alternative to SparkNotes and CliffsNotes, SuperSummary offers high-quality Study Guides with detailed chapter summaries and analysis of major themes, characters, and more.
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BetaChapters 4-7Chapter Summaries & Analyses
Chapter 4 Summary: “Vacuum”
Chapter 4 describes Madison’s increasingly fragile emotional and mental state in November of 2013. Madison turns to her sister Ashley for advice. Ashley had difficulty adjusting at Penn State and was much happier at the University of Alabama. However, unlike Ashley, who was unhappy at school but regained her happiness when she left, Madison says that she is unhappy everywhere. Madison’s family suggests that she needs to leave Penn for a less competitive environment. Still, Madison worries this is a superficial solution. Madison openly discusses her unhappiness with her friends and family, regularly asking for advice on whether she should transfer or not. However, she is upset by her father telling his friends that she doesn’t like Penn.
By November, Madison is increasingly anxious, but she tries to recalibrate her happiness through time management, blocking off time in her schedule for sports, studying, and friends. At Thanksgiving, Madison’s core friend group from high school gets together. Except for one friend, all of them have struggled to find happiness at college. Madison’s partying takes on an edge, but her family and friends don’t realize how quickly her uneasiness is escalating. No one raises a red flag. Madison is disappointed by a counseling appointment with Penn’s Counseling and Psychological Services. Her parents find her a therapist near Allendale.
“Active Minds”
Fagan visits a meeting at Penn of Active Minds, a national organization with the mission statement of “empowering students to change the perception about mental health on college campuses” (103). Madison flagged Active Minds as a club she was interested in joining but never attended a meeting. Fagan writes that “the suicide rate among fifteen- to twenty-four-year-olds has tripled since the 1950s,” according to American College Health Association, and high rates of students report feeling overwhelmed. Another study found “that an average high school student today likely deals with as much anxiety as did a psychiatric patient in the 1950s” (105). The “destructive perfectionism” that can influence Ivy League students heightens this anxiety. Fagan outlines the failures of universities to adequately address this mental health crisis, reflected in Madison’s disappointment in her counseling session. At the Active Minds meeting, students articulate their mental health struggles.
Chapter 5 Summary: “Just Sleep”
Chapter 5 opens with Madison in crisis. On December 12, Madison texts her father, saying, “I need to come home” (116). The Chapter 5 opens with Madison in crisis. On December 12, Madison texts her father, saying, “I need to come home” (116). The next morning, she gets on a train home and tells her friends and coaches she is sick. Jim is shocked by her appearance and demeanour, telling her, “I think you look depressed” (120). Madison goes to her room to sleep but is unable to rest. An hour later, she comes downstairs in workout clothes, ready to join a new gym. Jim takes her to sign up for a monthly membership at Retro Fitness. Fagan reflects on her mental state, the desire to “churn out the darkness, force it to seep out of her, like sweat, if she just ran fast enough, long enough” (122). After the gym, she sees her old friends, who are also shocked by her behavior.
Jim and Stacy are committed to helping Madison, but she struggles to articulate what exactly is wrong. She describes the stress of finals and her fear that she is failing courses. More worryingly, she keeps repeating, “Something is wrong, something is really wrong” (123). Madison’s younger sister Mackenzie struggles to understand why Madison is so unhappy. Madison is relieved by her parents’ help but worries that she is becoming a burden. A few days later, she returns to Philadelphia to finish her finals.
“All Alone”
Fagan goes through Madison’s computer, looking at pictures, reading emails and iMessages, hoping to gain insight into what she was feeling. Fagan writes how hard it is to understand Madison from her public persona, reflecting on how we hide the complicated parts of ourselves from the world. Opening up her text messages, Fagan is nervous to see her inner world. However, she quickly realizes that the messages are mostly superficial.
Chapter 6 Summary: “Size Nothing”
On December 28, Madison meets up with her friend Emma to go for a run and to shop for New Year’s Eve outfits. Madison explains to Emma how her sadness is different than what others experience and how overwhelmed she is. The girls try on dresses and talk about boys. Madison has lost weight, and the dress she tries on is loose. Emma texts Madison when she leaves, suggesting they should talk more about how Madison is feeling. On New Year’s Eve, Madison and her friends get ready for the party. When Madison puts on the dress she bought, she realizes it doesn’t fit.
Like many athletes, Madison has always been particular about food and eats well. Madison excels at discipline, but over the Christmas holidays, she unusually veers towards excess, partying harder than normal. Her friends and family aren’t alarmed by her weight, however, as Madison began to lose weight before Penn. Discipline is necessary for runners, as “a runner is always attempting to control everything—time, energy, form, workouts, food intake, hydration—yet simultaneously conscious that she shouldn’t become controlled by any one variable” (155). Fagan writes that there was no evidence that Madison had an eating disorder. Still, she suggests that Madison’s desire to control everything would indicate that it was possible.
Chapter 7 Summary: “Snow Falling”
Emma and Madison are making pancakes at Emma’s house over Christmas break. Emma’s mother, Lorraine Sullivan, finds Madison closed off and a bit “unknowable.” Lorraine observes a young woman uncomfortable in groups, more inclined to study than join in the conversation. Madison struggles to articulate her feelings. On that particular day, Madison is “skinny, drained. So beautiful you couldn’t stop staring, and yet in that moment all you could notice was the emptiness in her eyes. She was twitchy, nervous, but didn’t exactly know why” (158-60). Lorraine and Emma try to understand why Madison is so upset. Madison struggles to explain her feelings tangibly, and the conversation is circular. Lorraine wonders if Madison is suicidal, but as Madison hasn’t suggested suicidal thoughts, Lorraine does not bring up the subject for fear of introducing it as a thought.
We find out that Madison has done well academically. Her track coach congratulates her on her high GPA. Despite this, Madison feels like she is failing. The one tangible solution is for Madison to quit track. Madison texts her friends about transferring to Vanderbilt or Lehigh to play soccer. One of her friends responds that she would be a “NARP”—a non-athletic regular person”—if she quit. Madison decides to return to Penn for the second semester while weighing her options. Madison asks her friends for advice on how to write to Steve Dolan, the Penn track coach. Ingrid sends Madison an article on student athletes quitting sports at Ivy League institutions. The author writes that students quit because of:
[…] the time commitment, the fact that sports seem to be the only priority of the coaches, the lack of reward or appreciation from others, the potential minimization of injuries, and the extra little things that push athletes over the edge (168).
The article resonates with Madison, and she sets up a meeting with Steve.
“The Quitting Game”
Fagan reflects on her desire to quit basketball during her freshman year. Testing the waters with her friends and roommates, everyone tells her to do what she wants. Fagan is terrified of quitting. When she tells her coach that she wants to quit, Coach Barry suggests that quitting is a mistake and asks her to try for two more weeks so Barry can change how he coaches Fagan.
Chapters 4-7 Analysis
In Chapters 4-7, we witness Madison’s mental and emotional health rapidly decline between November and late December. A series of three moments reveals the escalating nature of the crisis. At Thanksgiving, she is anxious and nervous, leading to a moment of crisis two weeks later when she leaves school abruptly, and finally, her weight loss and lack of self-control are evident at Christmas. Fagan describes “connection failures,” incidents when Madison’s family and friends recognize that something is wrong but do not grasp the full scope of Madison’s distress. The most illustrative example is when her sister Mackenzie asks, “Why r u so miserable” (126). Like many high school students, Mackenzie is excited about college, and Madison’s experience contradicts her expectations, leading to an inability to understand what Madison is saying.
Madison’s friends also fail to connect to the depth of Madison’s pain. An exchange between Madison and Emma reveals this disconnect: “‘I was sad when I broke up with [my boyfriend],’ Emma tried. ‘I know,’ Maddy said. ‘When I’ve broken up with guys, it sucked. But this isn’t like that’” (146). Madison is surrounded by people who care about her. Still, their inability to process the depth of her depression is alienating to Madison, who feels increasingly lonely and isolated. Fagan connects Madison’s loneliness to a larger culture of disconnection, writing:
It’s easier to feel connected online than to truly connect in real life. So, plugging in becomes addicting. We’d rather sign on and feel some superficial sense of connection than work and possibly fail at true connection offline. Being in the real world can be uncomfortable, especially after you spend so much time online (133).
Madison tries to connect to people around her, but she struggles to reconcile her expectations of herself with where she feels that she is. In part, this is due to what students call “Penn Face,” the façade of perfection that results from a culture of effortless achievement at Ivy League institutions. As one student describes it, “Picture a duck, and below the surface they are scrambling for their lives, but above the water everything appears peaceful—not a care in the world. That’s Penn Face” (109). Madison’s anger at her father for honestly telling his friends that she is unhappy reflects this idea. Fagan writes, “Maddy seemed intent on controlling her own message, even if she had a tenuous grip on what that message was” (91).
In this context, it is not surprising that Madison approaches her depression as a problem that she could defeat by working harder. Her attempt to schedule happiness through a balance of studying, sports, and social interactions is an example of this approach. Not recognizing the depths of Madison’s despair, her parents hope that Madison’s struggles will lead to personal growth. Because her life had always gone as she wanted it to, her family thinks that it may be an opportunity to learn an important life lesson on “how to navigate life when it didn’t seem to yield” (96).
Fagan paints a picture of a young woman who was intensely disciplined and strong-willed. Social media created the impression that she had the perfect life. However, Fagan highlights the disconnect between public behaviors and how people feel. She writes, “the more polished and put-together someone seems—everything lovely and beautiful and just as it should be—perhaps the more likely something vital is falling apart just offscreen” (94). In Madison’s case, this turns out to be true.
Fagan extends her analysis beyond the corrosive effects of social media on young people to analyze how broader cultural shifts have created a generation plagued by anxiety. She cites the work of psychologist Jean Twenge, who argues that culture at large has shifted the focus from intrinsic values toward extrinsic values. The emphasis on extrinsic values means that young people rely on external validation and do not adequately develop the internal resilience to support themselves when they fail. Fagan also cites William Deresiewicz, who writes that social media has created a culture of distraction, and children do not have time to develop a sense of self. Fagan confirms these scholarly assessments at a meeting of Active Minds, where Ivy League students detail their mental health struggles. Despite the prevalence of anxiety and depression, stigma remains around seeking help. For instance, Madison took a screenshot of a description of Active Minds indicating that she was interested in joining. However, she did not include it in the list of clubs she told Ingrid she was interested in joining.
