When We Collided

Jonah wakes to the sound of voices around him. He gives the paramedic Vivi’s mother’s number but tries to get out of being sent to the hospital himself. Jonah lies to the paramedic and tells him that his parents are out of town. The paramedic refuses to accept no for an answer, however, and tells Jonah that he will be okay. Jonah gives in, grateful for the help. Later at the hospital, Jonah is given an IV and the nurse is someone he knows. She tells him that they called his mother and when he asks, she tells him about Vivi’s condition. Vivi is in surgery and her wounds could have been a lot worse. Had she not worn her helmet, Vivi likely would have died. Jonah is in shock.

When Jonah is released later, he finds his mother in the lobby. She looks entirely different; “she was in control” (190), and Jonah realizes that he still has one parent. They hug when they reunite, and Jonah tells her about Vivi’s condition. After, Jonah tells her that he misses her. They both cry when she says that she misses herself too. Jonah points them both towards the exit and guides them out. 

Vivi wakes a couple of times but is not fully conscious for extended periods. When she finally wakes up, her mother is there. Carrie tells Vivi that she has been asleep for more than 48 hours. She had surgery on her humerus, her two broken ribs, and the wounds all along her left side. Vivi also has stitches on her collarbone. Vivi remembers everything, but she remembers it “like it’s a movie–something [she] watched as an outsider” (192). Vivi is on painkillers and medicine that will help her bipolar disorder. Vivi cries and asks if her disorder will ruin her life. Carrie says that it will not, that it will only sully a few weeks, but that Vivi has a long life ahead of her.

The hospital wants to keep Vivi under observation because of her history. Even though Vivi swears that she was not trying to kill herself when she jumped off the bike or when she cut herself to feel something, the hospital wants her to see a psychiatrist. Carrie apologizes to Vivi for not being a more conventional mother and Vivi apologizes that Carrie has to deal with her disorder. Both insist that there is nothing to apologize for. Carrie reveals that she has been speaking with Dr. Douglas, Vivi’s therapist from Seattle, and Vivi begins to want to speak with her again. Vivi asks if she can and Carrie agrees. Vivi then decides she wants to return to Seattle.

Jonah has seen Vivi twice since her accident but not when she was awake. With Vivi’s permission, Carrie tells Jonah that Vivi has bipolar disorder. Jonah does not know much about it and Carrie tells him about Vivi’s mania, about her acting up, smoking, and sneaking out. After, Jonah Googles the disorder and begins to worry. He worries that he took advantage of Vivi in her state. Instead of sitting idle, Jonah throws himself into work at the restaurant. They have a new menu and have begun redoing the floors, repainting the walls, and setting up flowers in vases. The restaurant receives a ton of help from different people, all of who cite Jonah’s father, Tony, as the reason. Tony was a kind man and helped many people, including delivering freshly made meals to Mr. Hodgson and his wife when she was on bed-rest.

Jonah finishes washing up the deck and both him and Ellie watch as they add the letters for “bistro” onto the sign of the restaurant. Felix thanks Jonah for being the catalyst for the changes at the restaurant. The chapter picks up later, when Jonah visits Vivi. He brings her a bouquet of flowers, but she recoils at his presence. Vivi is furious with Jonah and is guilty because she knows that she could have killed him. Jonah apologizes to her and Vivi gets even more enraged, believing Jonah pities her. She yells at him to get out and Jonah leaves.

After Jonah leaves Vivi, he returns home and bakes Vivi a pie. Jonah writes Vivi a letter, explaining why he chose to visit her; he tells her that he is not “afraid of the dark places” (203) and he wants to know what she needs and how he can help.

Carrie tells Vivi that Jonah was at their house the night before, caring for Sylvia and painting the edges of her bedroom ceiling. Vivi is overwhelmed with guilt but she likewise resents Jonah for his kindness in the face of her own anger. Carrie tries to encourage Vivi to call him, but she begs her mother to leave the situation alone. After their conversation, Vivi changes into regular clothes to speak with Dr. Brooks, the hospital psychiatrist. Dr. Brooks speaks with Vivi about her bipolar II diagnosis. They discuss her symptoms and what she did in her last hypomanic episode in Seattle. Vivi tells Dr. Brooks about the watercolor lotus tattoo she got from a tattoo artist she went home with, getting into an argument with her mother, impulse buying Ruby a $300 purse, and sleeping with Amala’s ex-boyfriend.

Vivi lashes out numerous times at Dr. Brooks, but they both eventually reach a truce. Dr. Brooks tells Vivi that accepting her diagnosis is the first step to getting better. Vivi admits to Dr. Brooks: “I think the only way this will work […] is if I have some choice in this” (208). Dr. Brooks agrees with Vivi entirely, and they agree to continue taking lithium but at a different dosage. Vivi looks forward to the change. She returns to her room, falls asleep, and wakes up to Ellie leaving a gift for her. Ellie and the other Daniels kids put together a care basket for her, and Ellie helps Vivi put some dry shampoo in her hair.

Vivi admits to Ellie that she was rude to her and Ellie agrees, acknowledging the strain of depression and mental illness. Ellie speaks about her brother, Diego’s, own battle with depression. They speak about mental illness and the medicine that ended up helping him. Vivi is overwhelmed by Ellie’s kindness and his grateful that Ellie does not pity her or feel sorry for her. Ellie simply admits that “depression fucking sucks” (212). Ellie sits next to Vivi on the bed and comforts her. Ellie gives Vivi the pie and note that Jonah made and wrote for her. Vivi begins crying when she reads it, grateful for his “devotion and forgiveness” (213).