When You Trap a Tiger

When Lily awakens late the next morning, Halmoni is cooking lunch. The atmosphere is light as Halmoni tries to feed Lily and then Mom before the spirits see (as they lack kosa for this meal). Suddenly, Halmoni sees Lily’s pearl pendant and asks why she has it; she has no memory of giving it to her. Halmoni touches Sam’s white streak and says, “This like me, when I back at home” (200). She looks back at Lily and thinks she sees a tiger; she then forgets who Lily is. Mom takes Halmoni for a rest, leaving Lily upset. Sam recalls that they should be at the library helping with bake sale signs. Lily is surprised Sam wants to help. By way of explanation, Sam says, “Of course. Jensen and I have been—talking” (202). They prepare to visit the library.

At the library, Lily feels awkward as Sam left with Jensen, and Ricky is at a table with two other boys. Joe, the librarian, senses that Lily feels left out and offers to talk to her; she shocks even herself by opening up. She tells him scarier stories are replacing Halmoni’s old ones, and that she doesn’t want things to change. Joe tells her he became a librarian because he likes order and classification but soon realized stories are more about emotion than logic and sense—and that they connect people over time and space. Lily doesn’t fully understand but thanks him anyway. She bravely meets Ricky’s friends, but the encounter sours once they learn Halmoni is Ae-cha; the boys refer to Halmoni as the “crazy witch lady” (208), and Ricky explains that her health problems cause her to have “hallucinations that make her act that way, like scared of ghosts and tigers and stuff, right, Lily?” (209). Ricky’s portrayal of Halmoni insults Lily, and she offers to get his requested pudding so she can escape.

Lily refuses to fetch pudding for someone who insulted her. She leaves through the library’s back door to scoop mud into the chocolate pudding. Suddenly, the tigress appears; Lily declares that “I’m sick of everyone hiding things from me” (213). Lily tells the surprised tigress to leave, and she does. Lily gives Ricky the muddy pudding. He says the pudding doesn’t taste right, and Lily can’t help but tell him and his friends: “It was just mud!” (216). They stare at her, and Ricky states that Lily cursed him. She runs out the door.

Sam follows Lily home and reports what she did to Mom. Mom is furious as Ricky’s father just offered her a job. Mom says Lily is not acting like herself, a comment that sparks more rebellion: “Maybe I don’t want to be invisible” (219). Lily repeats the boys’ words and asks if Halmoni ever embarrassed Mom when she was young. Mom says she did, but felt more pride in Halmoni’s traits and skills than embarrassment. Lily asks why Mom and Halmoni aren’t as close as they used to be. Mom says they just grew older and apart: “Lily, my relationship with Halmoni never ended. It just changed” (223). Lily says she doesn’t want things to change.

Mom tells Lily to apologize to Ricky the next day. Lily goes upstairs where Sam tells her, “I didn’t mean to rat you out” (224). Lily doesn’t want to talk. Sam becomes upset and tells Lily that they have to grow up and stop believing in magic. She doesn’t want to watch Halmoni die: “I just want it to end. I want it to be over already” (226). Lily breaks her silence to tell Sam to take it back, but she refuses. That night, the tigress doesn’t show. Lily thinks it’s because she told the creature to leave.

Mom drives Lily to Ricky’s house. She notices Lily has mugwort in her pocket and warns against tasting it, as it’s known to cause nightmares and vivid dreams. Lily and Ricky apologize to each other. Ricky says he and his friends think Lily is “supercool” (he tries to use the word halmoni—it coming out more like “hail-money”—but she appreciates his attempt). Ricky brings up his mom and says she left him and his father last year. Ricky worries she left because she assumed he didn’t need her help with schoolwork anymore. Lily asks if Ricky ever feels like “you don’t know who you’re supposed to be anymore,” and he admits that’s a complicated topic. He thinks accomplishing new tasks teaches one more about him or herself. Ricky changes the subject to ask if the tigress Lily wants to trap is real; she assures him it’s not. They end the conversation amicably.

The tigress doesn’t show again. When Lily returns upstairs, she hears Halmoni vomiting in the bathroom. Lily goes to her with the last star jar in hand. Halmoni says she knows about the muddy pudding incident and indicates Lily shouldn’t aim to be like her. She mentions her sad upbringing and inability to find her mother in America. Lily realizes this is why Halmoni locked the painful stories up; Halmoni doesn’t want to pass them on. Lily still wants to learn about her family history and culture. She tells Halmoni that keeping the stories bottled up might be more damaging than the stories themselves.

Lily reveals the tigress’s deal, and that she already opened the first two jars. She says that once she opens the third jar, she can save her. Halmoni insists that the jars have no significance; she bought them at a flea market. Lily considers that Halmoni might be having an episode of forgetfulness, but it doesn’t seem so. Halmoni tells Lily “This my time” (243). Lily doesn’t want to hear it and raises her voice: “There has to be a point to all of this” (244). Halmoni kindly tells Lily to go to bed.

In her bedroom, Lily speaks aloud, demanding to know why the tigress left her. Sam wants to know what Lily’s “vases” are. Lily reaches her breaking point, taking Sam’s expression as her thinking she’s “the strangest little kid ever” (246). Lily smashes the first two star jars against a wall. She debates smashing the third as she never opened it; it might be Halmoni’s last chance. Lily decides the tigress was a “mugwort dream or a mental stress reaction” (248) and smashes the jar.