Where's Molly

“Reaper Canyon, Montana, is surrounded by the Electric Peak range, and it’s where I was born and raised. The daunting name of this small town is fitting, considering it’s where everyone’s dreams go to die. This state exudes beauty, but even the mountains off in the distance can’t take away the ugliness of my world.”

The contrast of the mountains and scenery with the horrific life Molly leads in Reaper Canyon reinforces the meaning of dreams dying in this place. Molly’s life feels like an insurmountable challenge, akin to climbing one of these mountains.

“I hope to God another girl never finds this journal. That would mean she replaced me, and no one—no one—should ever have to experience the horrors of this house. No one innocent, at least. I wouldn’t care if Francesca, Rocco, or any of his friends got a taste of their own poison one day. It’s the least they fucking deserve.”

The events in Francesca’s house are not portrayed; rather, this passage implies that Molly has spent eight months being abused by Francesca and her men. Critically, Molly does not hope for Francesca and Rocco to suffer, but she does not care if they meet a fate fitting with their crimes, reinforcing the novel’s representation of perpetrators of violence becoming victims of deserved violence.

“Molly isn’t like the other clients I’ve had. Mainly because I fucked her thoroughly before I gave her a brand-new identity. Then, she disappeared on me—just like she was supposed to. And it fucking enraged me. Now, she stares at me like a tiny rabbit caught in a trap, squealing to be freed. She escaped me once, and I let her. I won’t allow it a second time.”

Cage’s initial reaction to Molly’s presence reveals his strong attachment to her, but it also hints at the violence he is capable of. His comparison of Molly to a rabbit evokes both the care and tenderness needed to interact with Molly and the specific cruelty of trapping or harming her.

“While Z focuses on the trafficking rings and larger operations, Legion was formed to focus on the smaller fish—the psychopaths who lurk in plain sight, fitting into society as the blue-collar working class or with their corporate desk jobs, all the while wreaking havoc on innocent souls when they clock out. Though, Legion sees them for who they really are. Wolves in sheep’s clothing. Beasts in human skin.”

Z links the novel to Carlton’s Cat & Mouse Duet, while offering insight into the organization for which both Molly and Cage work. The premise of the organization is that they commit crimes against criminals to protect vulnerable people. Ironically, this makes both Legion and Legion’s victims “[b]easts.”

“He raises his hand, and for the first time, I notice he’s holding a bouquet of tiger lilies, already in a beautiful crystal vase. ‘I come bearing gifts.’ He lifts his other hand and holds up a DVD. ‘And a movie.’ I sputter, unprepared for both items. He takes advantage and slides past me, forgoing an invitation. ‘What the fuck,’ I mutter beneath my breath, dumbfounded as he kicks off his shoes at the entrance, then saunters into my living room and sets the tiger lilies on the center of the coffee table.”

Cage’s actions here contradict his thoughts, as he largely thinks of Molly in terms of conquest and domination. His offer of flowers, popcorn, and a movie shock Molly, as well, but they indicate a sincere desire to begin a romantic relationship. Nevertheless, Carlton highlights the fact that Cage has overstepped boundaries, and his placement of the flowers on the coffee table represent his desire for domination.

“Anyway, he blabbered on about how he hasn’t been able to think of anyone else since. How every day, he would picture you showing back up in the store. I guess, in a way, he’s been looking for you since you left, even if it was him that made you disappear.”

Silas reveals, in this passage, how Cage has spent the past nine years lamenting Molly’s disappearance, showing the extent of his dedication. Carlton uses informal diction, including “anyway” and “I guess,” to reflect patterns of speech and to heighten the sense of intimacy in Silas’s confession to Molly.

“Because staring into her eyes is the only thing I needed, to convince myself she’s everything I’ll ever want for as long as oxygen invades my lungs. I knew it deep in my bones the day I met her. Even back then, my soul immediately recognized hers as its other half. ‘Because I’d tell you anything,’ I answer. ‘There’s not a single thing I’d be able to keep from you. Especially when you look so goddamn beautiful.’ Her hand slackens, shock colored on every inch of her ethereal face.”

As in other areas of the text, Cage’s affection for Molly is relayed using violent diction, using visceral imagery of oxygen “invading” his lungs. However, this tone quickly shifts to his words of affirmation, promising Molly his honesty and openness. This highlights The Narrow Line Between Beauty and Horror.

“His thumb brushes against my scar gently. ‘I hope you think of me next time you look in the mirror.’ Insecurity rises, and I’m almost embarrassed that he’s focusing on my trauma so plainly laid out on my face. I’ve always hated my scar, and something inside me rebels against him finding a way to make me accept it. Especially seeing as part of me wants to let him. I narrow my eyes. ‘That wasn’t cool. Don’t do that again.’ His smile widens, not the least bit ashamed.”

Cage’s attempt at overwriting Molly’s trauma by biting over her scar prompts Molly to become defensive. Cage smiles because he thinks that Molly is lashing out due to insecurity, rather than legitimate irritation. This pattern establishes Cage and Molly’s dynamic as he works to help Molly overcome her own self-doubt yet exhibits abusive behaviors.

“Afterward, when Dad attempted to deny it, that was the only moment Mom stood up for me by screaming at him for hurting me. Not because I was assaulted, but because she’d have to explain the bite on my face to the school. The others covering my body could be hidden, just not that one. Later, she spat on me for trying to steal her husband. As if he wasn’t my own father.”

The reveal that Molly’s scars were made by her father, as well as the implication that her mother did not stand up to her father outside of this instance, implies that Molly was regularly assaulted by her father. The dysfunction of her mother thinking that Molly seduced Raymond adds another layer to the traumatic childhood Molly endured and reinforces the misogyny that the text portrays, which leads to men sexually abusing women.

“He cocks his head, appearing unfazed by my demand. ‘What’s his name?’ I sigh. ‘Why does it matter?’ His expression is serious, not an iota of amusement remaining in his stare. ‘I want to be the only man on this entire fucking planet that knows what you feel like. And if I’m sharing this knowledge with a single soul still walking this earth, then I will be removing them from it.’ I can only blink at him, speechless for a few beats. Despite that, my stomach is a cesspool of restless butterflies, and I feel my heart beginning to soften.”

Although Cage becomes more explicit in his threats of violence, here, that violence is entirely directed by jealousy. Molly, though she does not explicitly encourage Cage’s thoughts, is charmed by them, seeing Cage’s threats as affirmations of his genuine feelings for her. This passage emphasizes the connection between morbidity and romance in this relationship.

“‘Do you still watch her?’ Cage asks boldly. My eyes drop to my lap, where I fidget with my fingers. A flush crawls up my throat, embarrassment taking root. ‘Yes,’ I admit, forcing volume into my voice. Maybe it’s wrong or creepy, but she’s my sister and I care too much not to check up on her. And while it’s a tad embarrassing, I also don’t feel guilty about it, either. He chuckles. ‘I’d do the same if the roles were reversed.’”

This passage presents a critical component of Cage’s support for Molly through her journey to heal. Instead of judging Molly or criticizing her, he empathizes with her position. This builds the romantic tension in their narrative arc as they grow closer through emotional intimacy.

“Doting on men and offering them pleasure at the expense of my own sanity. I was ‘taken care of and provided for.’ I had a roof over my head and food in my stomach at Francesca’s house, too. But that doesn’t mean I wasn’t dying a slow death. That I wasn’t being tortured alive and driven fucking insane. I would rather be independent and struggle than have a monster provide for me. At least when I’m alone, the only demons I’m fighting are my own.”

Molly combines her past experiences into her present perspective, here, showing how her history of trauma has led her to strive for self-sufficiency. Carlton uses harsh language, including expletives and violent descriptions, to convey the trauma of Molly’s experiences. She does not want to live at the mercy of another person, since she knows that all her previous guardians and caretakers have abused and assaulted her, leaving her with only herself to trust.

“I knew that if I were going to keep Layla truly protected, then I couldn’t be carrying around a missing child and blatantly calling her by the name being broadcasted across the news. While I tried to avoid the public at all costs, there were times it was inevitable. And I knew that eventually, Layla was going to grow up and learn her name, and I couldn’t risk her knowing who she was. It was necessary for her safety. And now, it’s essential for her to continue to live a safe, happy life.”

Though Molly reasoning in this passage is sound, and will later be echoed by Cage, she does not truly believe that she made the right decision, as it deprived her of a direct influence on Layla’s life. Ironically, as much as Molly regrets abandoning Layla, she is also nervous to insert herself back into Layla’s life years later. This passage cements a major conflict surrounding Layla, which becomes partially resolved at the end.

“Until one day, a kid a few years older, David, came to me and asked if I could do more than just make him a new ID. He wanted a new life. His dad was a general in the Marine Corps and highly abusive. David felt his life was in danger every time he went home and was convinced that if he just simply ran away, his father would find him. I guess his old man had threatened as much. It took me two weeks to figure out how to get him a new social security card and birth certificate.”

This passage outlines how Cage transformed his trauma into a productive and lucrative career helping survivors disappear to evade capture. His use of the word “kid” is not literal but highlights David’s vulnerability in his abusive situation.

“I’m tempted to make some corny joke about being out of practice with eating, though I know how to swallow. Except I don’t have the confidence to say something like that. Nor am I sure if I’d even want to. Sex isn’t something I’m interested in. Not after going through everything that I have. In fact, I’m perfectly content if I never have to see another penis for the rest of my life. Yet, the way Cage stares up at me now—I wonder if that’s really true. I hadn’t considered what sex would be like if I chose it, and if it’s something that would feel good.”

Molly’s internal conflict centers on her prior traumas relating to sexuality and abuse. This jars with her present arousal and mutual attraction. She still thinks of the joke, and she wants to push forward with Cage, but she lacks the confidence and comfort to open herself to this discussion.

“‘What have you told her?’ I grin. ‘Only the important parts. That you’re incredibly strong, funny, and the most amazing woman I’ve ever met. I think she can see that already.’ ‘What if she’s wrong? We’re not even dating.’ My muscles tighten, and my teeth clench. I’m overcome with the urge to show her just how wrong she is.”

Molly’s reaction to a compliment is embodied through the image of her muscles and teeth, reflecting the trauma that prevents her from opening herself up to romance. While she has previously been described as more physically open, her physicality changes here.

“‘You’re wrong, ya know,’ I tell her, fire building in my chest. ‘Or, at least, there’s a good chance you are. She would’ve gone into the system, and there’s no guarantee she would’ve ended up with a good family. She could’ve gone from one abuser to the next.’ Molly nods, the movement choppy, but she doesn’t appear convinced.”

Cage continues to provide the compassionate support that Molly needs, but, this time, he is contradicting her, rather than empathizing. He sees that she is mired in self-doubt, and he intervenes to assure her that her actions were justified and understandable. The metaphor of fire building in his chest connects this moment of support with their romantic passion, signaling that this is a major moment of development in their romantic arc.

“‘I will claim every part of you, Molly. And that includes the pieces of you those fuckers tried to take from me.’ My brows pinch. ‘From you?’ I repeat dumbly. Deliberately, he places a kiss over the bite. ‘Don’t be fooled, little ghost, I will own you even after you’ve disappeared. You may vanish, but your soul will always be mine.’ I’m not sure if it’s normal for one-night stands to be so damn intense. It sounds like a proclamation of love without saying the words. Except way more…permanent.”

Molly’s reaction to Cage’s intensity highlights the abusive dynamics of their romantic relationship. The phrase “I’m not sure” characterizes Molly as vulnerable due to her past in contrast with Cage’s dominance. Carlton uses the simple future in Cage’s speech––“I will,” “your soul will”––to reinforce Cage’s sense of assurance about the future.

“‘I’ve been called a slut a lot,’ I admit after a few more moments, my voice cracking. He lifts his bowed head to gaze down at me carefully, waiting for me to collect my thoughts. ‘But I liked it when you said it. Just…only during sex, though, okay?’ He brushes a few strands away from my face gently. ‘If a man ever calls you something you don’t like, I’ll fucking kill him. I’ll always respect your boundaries.”

Molly manages to distinguish between the traumatic situation she has encountered in the past and the romance of the present, acknowledging how she has been hurt by other men while distinguishing Cage as separate from those men. Carlton juxtaposes the tenderness of Cage touching her hair “gently” and issuing a violent threat to characterize his mixture of abusive and romantic traits.

“That was all I needed to hear to recognize that she was running. It shouldn’t have surprised me. Yet, it did. More than that, it fucking hurt. And it absolutely enraged me. I have no doubts that Molly returns my feelings, except she’s completely fucking clueless when it comes to being able to handle those emotions. She may not have ever been in love, but she also has never met another like me. And what she seems to forget is that I will never give up on her.”

This passage rephrases all of Cage’s prior comments implying a desire to dominate Molly, changing his phrasing into “I will never give up on her.” He sees that she is inclined to withdraw from intimacy, not because she does not return his feelings, but because she is afraid of her own vulnerability. Cage’s violation of Molly’s boundaries is unethical, and Carlton explores the way people justify such actions to themselves.

“‘You can’t fix me,’ she finishes. ‘I don’t want to fix you, Molly. There’s nothing to mend when you’ve already done that yourself.’”

Molly’s despair is linked intrinsically to the trauma she has endured. When Cage tells her that she has already fixed herself, he is referring to the fact that Molly has made it as far as she has in life and in this relationship because of her endurance and willpower. This highlights the theme of Transformation Through and in Spite of Trauma.

“Sure, she might think she does. But what happens if I tell her, and it sends her into a tailspin because now she must face the fact that her birth parents were sick, depraved people? Would it cause an identity crisis? Would she feel like her blood is tainted by evil? They’re thoughts I’ve had to come to terms with myself.”

This passage explains Molly’s processing of her own internalized hatred of herself and her family, after the abuse she suffered as a child. She says that she has already come to terms with these thoughts, but, in reality, she is confronting them in this moment as she considers the ramifications of telling Layla about her family history.

“I stare at him, mouth agape as I try to process that not only did Legion keep my abuser locked away all this time, waiting for me to be ready, but that Cage killed him for me. And is now presenting him to me as…pig food. ‘Wow,’ I choke out, completely overwhelmed. ‘I think I love you even more now, but I’m also not sure ’cause I didn’t think that was even possible.’ That’s the first time I said those three words out loud, which is also a lot of emotions to deal with. Specifically as his eyes flare, and now he’s watching me as if I’m the food.”

Kenny Mathers’s death signals the end of Molly’s past trauma, with all her prior abusers dead, and she transfers that excitement into a temporary lowering of her guard, allowing her to tell Cage that she loves him. This moment signals a breakthrough for Molly and Cage’s relationship, highlighted by Cage’s arousal. This arousal is still presented as violent because he sees Molly as an object for consumption, reinforcing the idea that the pigs reflect the violent desires of humans.